Dead Robot The space between gay and straight, stupid and smart.

2012: A 42 second review

Oh crrrraaaaap!! My career!!!!

Hey Kids, Shelly here!

Okay this a disaster porn movie from the same people who brought you Independence Day, Godzilla and The Day After Tomorrow. Please - don't expect Bridges of Madison County. Unless you expect the bridge to fall into the earth without any dust or detritus and the entire county get swallowed up while Clint and Meryl evade lava on their horses.

I admit I went in not expecting Shakespeare and got a fun, campy ensemble movie much like the 70s churned out - like Towering Inferno, Poseidon Adventure and Rollercoaster.

Bits I liked:

• The first Russian on the screen not only had a horrid fake accent, but bushy eyebrows. Hairy eyebrows = Russian! Lots of other "the world is one big melting pot of stereotypes" too! Turn your PC nodes off.
• I'm beginning to think a dog beating the odds is a signature scene in Emmerich's movies.
• The Queen.
• The scientist bearing the horrid news of Earth's demise is laughed at by everyone at the party! Oh they'll all get their comeuppance!
• The Pope and the Italian symbolism!
• The fact that no religion was hinted at or implied being saved during the entire movie, except maybe Buddhism.
• Woody Harrelson again. He's getting great roles these days

Bits I didn't:

• The movie was a bit long. When we're watching a carbon copy of Emmerich's couple of last movies (albeit with better effects), you know the next scene will be a quiet moment where the President decides to die along his countrymen. Ya yah yaeahhahh... speed it up, cowboy.
• Did I mention formulaic? I can see this one becoming a drinking game, like in The Day After Tomorrow where every time someone onscreen yells out "Jack...!" you chug.
• If the earth suddenly shifted so far that some state in the US became the "south pole", why was Africa at the end nearly perfectly intact?

2012 was like a nice Indian Summer blockbuster in November (see what I did there?). 4 out of 5 cracks in the earth!