Sulfur.

Every morsel of food in Disney World is in one way or another, tainted with sulfur-infused swamp water. After 24 hrs you really notice it in your system.

I sort of liken it to sparkling pixie dust but that would be a bit of a sacrilegious thing since I’m pretty sure pixie dust doesn’t make your morning toilet smell like some century old dragon’s den.

I’m not saying the food is bad. Far from it. It’s just something you notice.

One thing I did notice this trip is how “gummed up” you could get after a couple days eating WDW food. I don’t know if all that sulfur is a chemical that induces constipation, but I do notice things don’t move as fast.

120 words all about poop.

Let’s change topics…

The best meal we had was without a doubt at Palo, the ship’s “fine dining” restaurant, where I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that much in one sitting. We started with easy cocktails, what seemed like 3 appetizers and mulled cucumber martinis and finished with the richest chocolate souffle I have ever tasted. As I type this my digestive tract is cringing with the memory, but not with fear. Sort of like a masochistic slave knowing that their master is coming and they’re pissed!

While that was probably up in my Top Five meals of my life, the best meal was on our last night. We managed to snag a table at the Liberty Tree Diner just before the evening parades/fireworks. My two friends and my husband studied the menu while I studied our faces. We were borderline exhausted. The week takes a lot out of you, running between parks; standing in line for 30 minutes for 2 minutes of excitement; patiently waiting for the last bus of the night to come take you back to your hotel so you can get up in 6 hours and do it all over again. Even though we’re bone dead, it was great to see that none of us were tired of each other.

Our waitress, lets call her Nicky, brings us fresh rolls and some whipped butter. Butter that somehow tastes so good, so sweet, that we struggle not to eat it all, knowing the big plates are coming soon.

Nicky returns and Josh asks what is in the butter that makes it so sweet.

“Oh I stuck my finger in it!” Nicky says with a smile. She reveals the secret ingredient to be honey. Nice! Nicky departs on her way.

A few seconds later, an older waitress sidles up next to Josh and in a lower conspirator register, says: “Nicky sure is sweet! I’ve been pining for her for over 6 years! She needs to give it up!”

We all laugh politely. The love-stricken waitress smiles a “You boys have a good night!” smile and wanders off.

We pause and look at each other. Then laugh in earnest.

“Were we just sussed out?!” I say.

“I don’t think it takes a Sherlock and a Watson to figure out we’re four homos,” says Sean.

“What the hell was that?!” says Josh.

“Wait. We’re party to unrequited love here at Liberty Tree! What do we do? Do we tell Nicky?”

We discuss this for a while. We evolve a joke that involves us trying to figure out if Nicky is actually a lesbian, by asking questions like: “So Nicky, when you finish your shift and get into your Subaru…” Or “That’s a fun costume you have on, Nicky… do you change into flannel at the end of the night?” We were so tired we crested the stupid jokes into laughing uncontrollably.

We barely noticed that we had over eaten again.

Barely.