I am doing some fast research for visa requirements to countries our company sells to and there are some countries out there who insist that travellers staying within their borders over 30 days are subjected to HIV tests or are flat out refused entry if they are HIV+.

I won’t point any fingers, UAE, India (for Americans, not Canadians), Mongolia, America but that’s pretty stupid. Go back to monitoring for H5N1 and stop being idiots.

As an aside, this was on Canada’s Foreign Affairs Site’s Entry/Exit pages:

Although same-sex marriages are legal in Canada, many countries do not recognize them. Attempting to enter as a same-sex married couple may result in refusal by local officials. For more information, contact the foreign government office accredited to Canada.

Thankfully my ring can be converted to body jewelry!

Remember how I absolutely loved Joe Schmoe? You might remember I loved it because it took all the incredibly ridiculous things found in reality tv shows and threw them at an unsuspecting “schmoe” to see if he could withstand the barrage.

I have a new favorite show.

I have only seen one episode and it will probably never play in Canada. Its called Space Cadets and it is brilliant. If you have Bittorrent I suggest you get it right now. I’ll wait.

The first episode took 100 applicants and widdled them down to 12 (with three producer-hired actor plants amongst their midst to move the prank along) and then announced that they were to be taken to STAR City (The Russian Space Tourist boot camp) and 4 would be chosen to be the first British space tourists to be televised on TV.

They didn’t know that the whole thing was fake. And filmed in an abandoned military base in Ipswitch.

Apparently since the show was televised, there has been immense backlash from the British public saying the show was cruel and went too far. I would think that the people doing the biggest complaining probably never sat through a season of (American) Survior and then devoured Joe Schmoe in comparison. After seeing the fist episode I would say that the show’s producers might have omitted the spirit of satire and didn’t put instances of utter absurdity to hint that the show was fake to weed out the “smart” ones. Example: in JS, one of the elimination games was “Don’t take your hand off the hooker!” where contestants had to keep their hands on one body part of an admitted prostitute (actor) for hours. Any contestant who would have stopped for a moment and really thought about that challenge would have suspected the airing of such a racy contest.

In the first episode, the 100 applicants got a battery of mental tests to see if they were “suggestable”, meaning they would believe in something if the majority of the group agreed upon whatever was suggested, even if it meant gravity in space proved them wrong. While Space Cadets so far doesn’t seem like anything more than a practical joke (I am not going to spoil it by reading reviews or news claims stating contestants might sue), I hope they do throw in the odd satiracle jab at reality shows. Apparently there is a bit where they honour a fake Russian Astrodog while onboard the spacecraft. Looking forward to that one…

So far, I say khorosho, Comrade!

An addictive and fun game.Love the Crazy Cat Lady. (From Boingboing)

I truly hate panhandlers. I do. I got yelled at by one today because I wouldnt look at him or talk to him or anything. Fucking dick. He yelled at me that he had a $10/hr job and that he was trying to make ends meet. “you and me both,” I thought. What annoyed me more was that he did it with a drag queen’s attitude. Dick.

Im looking at a guys forearm today on the streetcar and Im thinking I wish I had forearms like Popeye. He was sexy…then I thought about Baloo in The Jungle Book and how that was my first eroctic stirrings when I saw that movie at the Capital theatre in Brockville…the bit where he rubs up against the tree with his back.

After the second heavy *sigh* out of Sharkboy due to R2 *popping* out of his ship cradle (why not just have an escape gate for these astromech droids?) I realized I wasnt having much fun either. I could barely keep up with the fight sequences and when the dialogue bogged down I started wondering about how much detail they gave the little digital flying cars you can see out the windows. I could go on and on about the little things that pissed me off or I loved about it, they were equal in amount. However, just like the parliamentary vote, it was down to one last image that made me think “Ugh. This is crap!” It was Darthy’s “NOOOOO!” at the end. Hardly the reaction of an emotionless pittbull hell bent on torturing the galaxy in the name of the Emperor.

I am eager to see Lucas’ next movie to see if he’s really lost it as a director. He’s lost all sense of restraint, that’s fer sher.

Okay the acting was wooden, the direction wild and the script had me saying “Foo!” but remember that the SW series were borne from serial movies of the 30s. So at least they got that right.

And in the sprit of fun, I present (via Bacon and Eh’s Blog) The Parade of Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes. The caption for the Death Star one had me howling.

I beat my puffed out chest and show you my stats from last month! Unga!

Total Hits 	1086582
Total Files 	178201
Total Pages 	96134
Total Visits 	18319
Total KBytes 	3341512

Ignore the “Hits” because there are still residual numbers from the Bagle_av virus associated with my site. Not bad, I think, for a blog that has no real direction or comment on political views.

I think you like me. Really like me.
I PAT ME ON THE BACK, MOFOS!

So what do you want to talk about now?

Here are the Pride at the Point pics, here on the day that Canada becomes the gayest country in the western hemisphere.

In just seven days, Sharkboy and I take off for a week long celebration of camping with extra special guest stars Grizzly and Evil Panda. Also starring is The Busdriver and The Mailman.

The first weekend, the theme is “Boxers”! Sharkboy and I are prepared to be the Paris ‘n Nicole of the evening with outstanding underwear acquired from intensive shopping excursions into the heart of Toronto. Home made jewelry cheapens adorns our outfits as well!

During the week we will be taking day trips to lovely and historical Tillsonburg to show the boys various Tobbacco Museums, greasy spoons and German berry picking outlets. I can hear their excitement rise from here!!

The weekend after is The Point’s popular and sold out “Bear” weekend. The pool filters will be filled to the max, hairily, as hirsute and burly men float, cavort and chortle their weekend away. Here’s hoping we can convince Griz and EP to stay an extra few days so they can actually see the pool go from pristine blue to emrald green. And see Mr X go mental with rage since he has to clean it!

Here is a partial list of things I am brining:

• My telescope. Gotta see a moon.
• Barbie. An extra special Burning Barbie episode. Think “Lucy Lui” in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. With American guest stars too!
• An extra bed pad. I love the sound of bullfrogs at 3am but if I don’t get at least 7 hours of sleep I will purchase some firecrackers and shove them in their grenouille asses. Feh! It’s not these little critter’s fault for calling out at all hours for a mate. I can’t sleep because of the bouncy air mattress we have.
• Booze. That’s right. The liver problems I was having a while back are gone and it’s Daquiris by the pool, sommabitches!

For those of you who will not be attending, expect images of the highest calibeer… uh …ber.

While I am away, DR will be “down” (readable, but hobbled). To reduce the constant referal attacks, I will be stripping it of comment/last referal entries. Sorry kids.

Nothing like trying to learn htaccess for your personal blog while at your day job.

“It’s Punjab day here today. I’d rather be here this weekend than next. It’s Eye-tal-ea-yan weekend next weekend and they just cover the park”

We’re waiting in line for the rides to open at Canada’s Wonderland and the red-bearded daddy ahead of us is orating to his friends and various kids hanging off his Orange County Chopper t-shirt about how the park is going to fill up with… undesireables? Before I can force my eyebrows down (I hate it when people say “eye-tal-eans”) the guards opened the chain and the crowd surges forward and we take off towards “The Eyetalian Job” ride, like Honest Ed shoppers at a 2 for 1 sale.

After running in the wrong direction (like morons we went towards where the ride wasn’t, but in our defence, the crude “map”, drawn by crayon-weilding monkeys used for LSD experiments back in the 70s, shows the ride somewhere near the south west corner), we arrive to find the ride broken so we kept on running to The Mine Buster, Canada’s largest wooden roller coaster.

I still have the bruises.

This ride really needs to be retired. Staff at CW calls it “The Great Canadian Back Buster” for good reason. It has no rubber wheels like the newer rides. Steel on rail. I think I rattled out a molar. Sharkboy lost his favorite Bear hat, even after schooling me in hat retention saftey. First corner: Voop! Gone over the side.

I am sure we did 80% of all the “adult” rides. I refused a couple due to crazy heights or if the rider executes a tight forward revolution, a sure way to make me heave up a $14 chicken burger. Here are some highlights:

• The best waterslide is The Barracuda. If you are over 90kg/190lbs, then you bomb down the tube into the basin and then just swirl there 4 revolutions or so like a cheese-packed poo rotating down the lav. Plork! Into the drain and out into the Lazy River. A+ ride!

• The worst water slide is the…well I dont remember the name. You’re in a raft and you basically just go straight down a bumpy slide. Fast and wet, like all good water rides should be, sure, but within seconds its over. And if you’re big, you are going to go down backward. Too short for the wait.

• Spongebob in 3D is best watched acting more hyper than any child within the theatre.

• The Italian Job was my first linear induction ride. Halfway through the ride you’re treated to a cheesy flame and plastic helecopter effect but you’re still reeling after the first kicking accelleration. Zero to 96.56064 kph in a few yards. Since the cars are about as big as The Fly, they took extremely sharp turns at high speeds. It was worth the 30 min wait.

• Speaking of The Fly, that coaster rocks. The guy in front of us was riding with his 9yr old and turned to us when it was over and said “Looking up at it, it don’t look like nuttin’!” And I agree.

• A 13 yr old girl high on endorphines is the true definition of “comedy”. She introduced her entire posse so rapid fire I wasn’t even sure she was talking to me as I’m fudging with the straps. Moments later the ride flips us into the air. She’d been riding The Sledgehammer 9 times in a row. The last I see of her, she’s running like Steve Austin back towards the ride’s entrance.

• Best cruising spot: Kidzville. Don’t tsk or phoo phoo me. There were millions of DDKs there (That’s code for “Daddy Don’t Know (he’s hot)”) all of them sitting back watching their wives watching over their spawn in kiddie rides while checking out other hot moms. Incredible.

The next day, we wandered down to The Canadian National Exhibition. I wrote about it last year and I can add these things about it:

1) The men are hotter there than at Wonderland. I suspect it’s because the men there are rougher due to their income and therefore, sexier. At Wonderland, there were hoards of stupid white guy faux-rappers from Scarberia, as opposed to the real rappers of all sorts at The CNE. However, there were more “Bla Bla Chopper” t-shirts at Wonderland than at the CNE.

2) The CNE has tons more interesting things to photograph. I didn’t see one costumed character at Wonderland and tons at The CNE. Plus there were cows you could pose with. Real ones. Due to a glitch in my camera (it got a bit wet) I couldn’t take any pictures with it.

3) Human cannonballs rock. Much more interesting than a high wire act. Less time wanting to see the guy fail made for more relaxed bowels.

4) $2.50 for 500ml of Diet Coke is criminal. I thought the Ex was suppose to be about “deals”? I did pick up an unused DVD of Vincent Price’s The Last Man On Earth.

5) Still would not get on one of those rides if they were the last on earth. Everything on every ride was shaking. We witnessed a guy flip head first onto the ground when he lost control on one of those fun house exits. Sharkboy laughed and laughed.