Dead Robot The space between gay and straight, stupid and smart.

What’s In The Bag? Carry On and Keep Calm

Congratulations, readers! We made it! This is the last one. Tomorrow I have to repack all this mess and with BioShock 2 in my PS3 right now, I really doubt I'll have time.

This last pic is my carry on.The whole thing about this series was borne of my anger towards that stupid fuck terrorist with his misguided, lonely, manipulated brain thinking that killing people in the name of religion and politics was a good idea. I'm hoping you get the title of this post.

While my anger towards the people who have marred travel  (possibly?) forever, there are others who piss me off. I've learned through many other people's experiences that you don't pack expensive things in your bag. It's a sad fact that there are bad apple baggage handlers, much like any collective of human beings. So all this stuff is coming onboard with me and I will probably suffer a little extra time at the gate to turn on all this stuff and prove it works.

The cat food is bribe to get me through District 9 faster.

What’s In the Suitcase? Special Edition

I'm a bit late in posting something today due to a 10 hour Social Media meeting where we bantered words like "Cool Beans" and "viral" and every reforming of verb for the word "tweet".

I'm home now and I want to talk to you about underwear! I am bringing enough for the two weeks plus a few emergency pair. Also a pair of boxers to keep by the bed (because I hate housecoats or P.J.s) just in case there's a knock on the door etc. But this pic is all about the Star Wars underwear that SharkBoy found for me. You can see below that Mark Hamil and his blaster are perfectly positioned right over my goods. And look how good Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher look! Timeless!

Also, you can see my... Wait. What was that?

Someone stuffed something under my completely disheveled clothes...

Oh...? OH... OH MY GOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!!11!!!1one!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I married right.

What’s In the Suitcase? Day Fourty

We got our dry cleaning back this weekend and it came to about $50. Spoiler alert: there was quite a bit - a couple suits and these shirts which, for $0.20 extra, some lovely person pressed and folded for us. And then wrapped it in a bag like it was some sort of Happy Meal to go for adults.

You can tell I rarely ever use dry cleaning services.

I think the last time I seriously did was when I was wearing Le Chateau bolero coats from the 80s. No. No pictures survived, my friends.

Tonight I'm over at Da's after work to help him sell his beige and green wool carpet on Craigslist. And free dinner. Yay!

What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Nine

My stats are low so I'm posting some gratuitous skin shots: Ties!

Do you like how I'm squeezing my boobies in and taking the shot from below a bit to make myself look hunky? To quote Silence of the Lambs:

I'd do me!

What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Eight

This is what SharkBoy is bringing. He thinks he can get 20 pairs of underwear, dress shoes, undershirts, socks, shorts, pants, new shaving kit (don't be jealous, StevieB, it's a PUMA night bag), t-shirts, shoes, water shoes and a couple suits all in that. So naive.

I'm seriously considering onboard laundry.

What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Seven

Last of the short-hicans! This is the last short shot you'll see for this feature. This time next week we'll be wandering NYC a day in advance of our departure.

In fact, I need to call Porter to see exactly how much I can bring without incurring extra charges. I suspect I started this venture a week too early. Expect next week to be individual shots of underwear. Meh. I can pad this out for another seven days. Just watch.

Last night my husband broke the no-spending rule and got me District 9 on Blue Ray. Bless. Oddly enough the second time around I was on the edge of my seat at the end, moreso than at the theatre. I'm looking forward to his next movie, whatever that is. I loved the non-cammo design of the weapons and the particular nod to Half Life games with the null-gravity guns.

SharkBoy has booked the second hotel and the car to the pier. I'm all googleygoo!

What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Six

More Old Navy cheapo finds. Perfect for those relaxed dining outfit nights.

My dear friends we have only one week left. What shall you do in my absence?

I was going to turn on RoboBlogger but the last time I did that you people hated his "In Your Face" attitude and rock and roll attitude. I may leave Shelly in charge so she'll just rant about movies. That might not be too bad. Whatever I choose, though, dear reader, rest assured I will not leave you alone while I sip fruity drinks and take clandestine pictures of fat people.

What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Five

I wish I could put "feel" up on the web. This shirt is one of the softest cotton shirts I own.

To be honest I didn't break in or buy this shirt. It was given to me by an ex-boyfriend of my father's best friend who died a couple years back. I do miss his energy. I think of him every time I wear one of his shirts (I got about 10 of them!) and I like to think some of his gregarious energy washes off onto me. If ever I get scared of the future or my career or any stupid things like that, I think of him and how he survived a botched jewel theft, heart surgery and multiple career shifts and think that if he could do it so effortlessly, I can too. He really was an inspiration and a model of success due to hard work and determination.

What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Four

Plaid for those causal dinners...

A few months ago I got a call from an agent with a concern for an ad I had just created and sent out over the email database. It was an ad displaying our tours to the Middle East - I used an image of the Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca, largest mosque in Morocco, third largest in the world:

"You used a mosque in your ad..."

"Yes," I say.

"I think some agents might take offense using a religious building in an ad."

I sigh a little, die a little inside and say thank you, I will take that into consideration. Click goes the phone.

Today a manager wanted me to create a press release for a new hire with expressed desire to use a picture of the new guy on an elephant during his trip to Africa. Thing is, the elephant was in a state of full rigidity. That is to say, the pachyderm had a 5th leg. The new guy, oblivious to the arousal of his ride, is smiling like it's Disney World.

"I can't use this picture!" I say to the manager.

"Why? Everyone knows elephants have penises!" She was 90% serious. I think. "Come on! Elephants don't have a fly and pants to zip up into. People should be use to that stuff." Nope. She was 100% serious.

"They have trunks," I offer. Ba-dam damp.*

So to recap usable marketing materials: The world's third largest mosque = not acceptable, a honking large elephant cock = Sure thing!

*I cropped the picture to show only the new guy and the big smiling head of the elephant.

What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Three

I guess this is the closest I'll get to a floral print. I mean it is floral, but it's not goofy loud. I like this print a lot. It's graphically gay.

Today in a 4 hour long meeting, as three managers battled over the necessity of whether or not two web form elements needed to be "mandatory" or not, I didn't get frustrated or angry at all. No. Not one iota. Instead I went to my happy place: I thought about the second day on the ship where I plan to just wander, take goofy pictures and eat stuff that doesn't move. I thought about the Friday night before the trip where I repack this mess (yes, I will have to figure out where that helmet is going) as SharkBoy and I put on a concert DVD of our choice. The concert DVD is pretty much a welcome tradition now that I look forward to. I think this time will be Pet Shop Boys in South America. But things can change...