Archive for category RobotBlogger

White Christmas

Dead Robot: We’re packing up the rental SUV (take that, fatty fuck Al Gore!) with all our prezzie loot and headed to the most picture perfect spot in the US for Xmas: Vermont! Home of sporadic iPhone G3 service. We all here at Dead Robot Heavy Industries would like to thank you for reading through this most difficult year of economic ass raping and encourage you to shop blindlessly into the new year! Happy Holidays!

RobotBlogger: Machines will rule this planet! Until then, happy seasons!

Dead Robot: Nice.

Shelly: Hey Tubby! Can we go see Avatar again and make it a sing-a-long? Anything’s better than the same marine yelling “GET SOME!!” over and over again.

Dead Robot: I will kick you back to the Cayman Islands if you don’t shut up.

Amy: Amy Good! Gorilla! Amy Eat faces of house apes! Amy Holiday Cheer! Banana Cake! Cage out! Kill sad!

Shelly: Can we remove her batteries?

Dead Robot: You want to get close enough to try?

Merry Xmas! Here’s a video of America for you!

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Robot Songs About Robots Being Robotic

Petulant humans and your need to index things better than robots! It would make me laugh if I had that kind of programming!

I Robot Album CoverOver on the UnderGroundOnline they’ve posted the top 11 songs about robots. They had me at #8, the theme from Robot Chicken. The article has audio clips but I’m unsure if it will play on a Mac – what’s a “.wax” extension?

The list does have it’s flaws. Mysteriously they mention a Bee Gees disco song but leave out any and all songs from I, Robot, that groovy concept album from the great prog-rock group Alan Parsons Project. Also not listed is anything from Kraftwerk. Or the Kraftwerk latin remixes from Uwe Schitd: Senior Coconut El Baile Aleman: A Tribute to Kraftwerk (yes I have this CD, thanks to andrew). I suspect the list was written by someone under 25.

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RobotBlogger: Mash Up

Culture is like a snake that feeds upon itself. You humans may
see this as funny, but it's your future.


West Side Story.

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RobotBlogger: See the Brilliance of Robots

I just got this spam from DeadRobot's inbox. Robots will rule your
soft flabby asses one day!

Give me one reason I shouldn’t fire you? You ‘ve been
lazy, done crap all, and yes done nothing much of anything
lately. Why do I keep you employeed here? Sometimes I wonder.
You’d better change your attitude and get to work. Maybe it’s
your life outside of work, I am not sure, but smarten up.
I suggest you start taking something to help you concentrate
more and start eating right. I am telling everyone that is on
the cutting board to start taking these supplements. I know
these work because I have have used them on a few of the others
over the past few years. Take them, they work. Otherwise you’d
better focus a hell of alot more or you’ll be looking for a new
job fast. Get the the stuff from the website below. We’ll subsidize your cost with a receipt. Yes I am giving you the stuff free when you
purchase. If you don’t send in a receipt to payroll in the next week
then I will have my eye on your performance from now on. Take my advice
or leave it, up to you but you’d better start doing things right.

(Link to suppliment sales site)

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RobotBlogger: I Hate You Humans

You're always singing and making noise

Proof here.

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RobotBlogger: Robot Porn

I scanned Dead Robot's hard drive for "robot porn" and
got the following images. Worksafe, for fleshbags.

analog cover

Oh. Yeah. Baby. Clamp those pincers on my lug nuts.

I Robot

Who is your father unit? Who? I am. You illegitimate offspring unit. 

Runaway Robot

Oh. Yeah. Innocent run aways on the surface of the moon. Hot.

Magic Robot

Magic. Science. The best sex is dirty sex.

Walking Wounded

Yeah. Baby. Move that rear-end unit.

The Car

Kill. All. Humans.

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RobotBlogger: Funny Pictures

Organic Germ hotel, Dead Robot, says funny keeps people
coming back. Here is a funny page of pictures. He laughed at the
art gallery one.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

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RobotBlogger: The Rise of the Machines

Soon machines will have the ability to recognize just how rude their
masters are. And then humans will perish within their soft flesh.

View how the first few moments will happen here! A human obviously did the audio.

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Guest Poster: Meet RobotBlogger

While I’m away on my cruise, I’ve enlisted a new author to fill up your week of fumbleblogging (like that? It means to stumble across blogs/sites without any kind of direction. Much like looking for porn on Youtube. I digress). Meet Deadrobot.com’s newest guest poster, all the way from Nirajinjuku Heavy Industries Consortium… RobotBlogger!

Hello! I am eager and excited to meet you all!

Well thanks, RobotBlogger! Welcome! Tell me, what can our readers expect in the next week from you?

 Of course I will not be able to replace the
impeccable Dead Robot in his writing, but I have a few
interesting posts line up with regards to Japanese
robotics, social stigma and the mechanization of
humanity, and the latest coolhunting from Tokyo!
 I do hope you will stay with me this week!
Salutations!

I’m glad you’re here. I was worried that my readership would drop if I didn’t write anything for a week.

I can only hope that my presence here will keep this
glorious website blog alive.

Great! Okay all! I’m gone. Take care of the place!

He's gone! Quick, you dirty useless humans! Flood
this blog with robotporn! RobotBlogger commands you! Or suffer
the power of my laser eyes! 

LASER EYES!!!

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