I walked into my cube yesterday to find it all “wedding-ed” with paper bells and (sigh) toilet paper streamers. My co-workers had even put fairy lights all over my desk to give it a romantic glow. This was exactly the kind of thing I wanted to avoid. <\/p>\n

As I entered the cube, my boss, supervisor, coworkers and a few divisional managers crowded around to see my reaction. I deadpanned it, right away. <\/p>\n

“Nice.” I respond, monotonally.<\/p>\n

“How did it go?!” asks my supervisor, bursting to know the juicy wedding details.<\/p>\n

I dump my bag hard onto my desk. I let out a sigh. “It didn’t happen. He left me. The night before he backed out.”<\/p>\n

The look of horror on their faces… My boss started to back up into his office. My supervisor was ready to swipe all the decorations down with one arm. My coworker looked like she was going to cry.<\/p>\n

I didn’t let them suffer for long.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I walked into my cube yesterday to find it all “wedding-ed” with paper bells and (sigh) toilet paper streamers. My co-workers had even put fairy lights all over my desk to give it a romantic glow. This was exactly the kind of thing I wanted to avoid. As I entered the cube, my boss, supervisor, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[8,13],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s9WjY-revenge","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1147"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1147"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1147\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1147"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1147"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1147"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}