I just this moment finished cleaning my tub. My pruney fingers slip over my chicklette keyboard keys.<\/p>\n

I would like to apologize to any and all roommates I’ve ever had.<\/p>\n

I realize I’m a hairy man. One past boyfriend said my body hair was my sexiest attribute (note how I said “past”). I can grow body in abundance but maybe not like freakish jokey web picture you see where LOLCatz eyes boogle out with some pithy caption in IMPACT font<\/a> (scroll down.. over half way down. No further. Yeah that’s it.).<\/p>\n

Anyway I want to apologize to all the people who had to step into a bathtub or shower post-me. Special mea culpas for my college roommates who had to step on my shower babies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just this moment finished cleaning my tub. My pruney fingers slip over my chicklette keyboard keys. I would like to apologize to any and all roommates I’ve ever had. I realize I’m a hairy man. One past boyfriend said my body hair was my sexiest attribute (note how I said “past”). I can grow […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[11,20],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-1RZ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7191"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7191"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7191\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7191"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7191"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7191"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}