My Creeds Story

Favorite, Toronto

For the benefit of you non-Torontonians, the Creeds family created an empire for themselves through dry cleaning, fashion and however else you make money in this town. Back in the early 90s, they sold off their clothing retail arm of their company and scaled back greatly their properties for whatever reason. I dont care. At that time, they had a beautiful warehouse at Ave and Dav (Avenue Road and Davenport streets) that they had proposed to carve up into luxury condos. This is my story about viewing the model suite of The Creeds Building:

I enter the suite with my friend Rob, who is doing the actual buying, I’m just along for the ride. He knows this place is way out of his league, but he wants to get a sense of what’s out there as well as snag some happening fixtures ideas.

While Rob is fondling taps and cupboards in the suite, I start looking real close at a set of blueprints on the wall, loving the handwritten technical messages written in such perfect script. A door opens behind me and I turn to see the saleswoman stride purposefully towards me in a perfect Chanel suit. Her hair one solid piece, very much like the Battlestar Galactica helmets from the old TV show. She is the epitomy of “luxury condo saleswoman”. She engages me with welcomes and smiles.

And she smells of fresh fart.

We both acknowledge the smell cloud between us by not acknowledging the smell, but its there in our manner towards each other. I am sure my eyes are screaming “I don’t believe it! Miss Perfect tooted!” while her manner towards me suggested that I should be emptying the office trash cans, not inquiring about marble finishes. I diffuse the situtation by directing her to Rob, the reason for being plunged into this embarassment. She leaves me happily, making me wonder just how many suites they’re going to sell with a stinky salesperson like her.

As we’re leaving Rob says: “Did you smell the one I let go in there?”

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