I’ve never sat for anything longer than 7 hours.

I’ve been on a plane to England a couple times and with a good tail wind, gets you on the tarmac inside 8 hours if you’re lucky.

See, within 10 minutes of a long car ride, I usually start humming my Bored Song: “Lamblablaaamblaaa…” Sharkboy know it well. In a rental car, I feel the need to press every button within the first 30 minutes of our road trips. Then… annoying sets in.

I thought that going 13 hours from LAX to SYD would be a bit of a challenge. Hold up, going from Toronto to Chicago to Los Angeles, an 8 hour stop over and then the 13 hour flight was going to be a challenge. Needless to say I had some doozy nightmares the days before the trip.

In honour of my father, I started the trip out by taking the subway/bus to the airport. Whenever we mentioned to him that we were travelling, he would pull that old chestnut out and suggest that a $3 TTC ride was far cheaper than a $60+tip cab ride. True, but cabbies generally don’t steal your iPhone out by Islington station. But I did it anyway, considering I was only bringing a camera bag and carry on suitcase. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. It was cheap, it was without delay (I had to be at the airport before 8am so the commuters weren’t around by that time) but it was less direct. I’d do it again if I had similar luggage situations and I was leaving via Terminal 1.

YYZ to CHI to LAX was un-eventful. 6 of us from my office managed to hang around each other for the duration and we got along fine. In LAX we caught a bus down to Santa Monica Pier and enjoyed the last rays of the day. Sadly no time for Disneyland, since several people advised against the risk of traffic. The bus back to the airport was nearly twice as long so I’m glad I didn’t risk it.

The flight down to Sydney was nothing short of wonderful. I say that because I was flying in the new A380 Airbus, which with engines at full run, filled the cabin with a low, almost electrical sounding buzz. Free blanket, toothbrush and paste, pillow and hours of movies also rained down upon me as I curled up in my Economy seat. No one beside me and the woman sitting in the window seat popped a pill as we took off, so she didn’t move again until the cabin doors opened. And the entertainment system had a tail-cam which made the view over plane, over the clouds somewhat surreal. Heaven!

Okay sorta heaven. The secluded seat I had near the back galley was a godsend – first served! But round about the 3 hour mark I noticed a smell. The toilets were right behind my head. After any food service the line up to the loo made sleeping a bit difficult. FLOOSH – poo smell – Flooooosh. Poo smell… you get the drift. I did manage to sleep 2 hours, 4 hours solid and then two 20 minute naps, so I felt okay by the time we landed. Pro Tip – Melatonin. It’s a non-perscription pill that helps you stay asleep. I was eating them like candy.

Plus, my iPad was pared down in photos and apps so I could get 16 movies on there (of which I only watched 4 the entire trip). I did make a good dent in Cloud Atlas and I’m getting excited to see how the Wachowski Sibs treat it.

In all, the trip down was in the vicinity of 26 hours, including lay-overs. And not one Lamblamalblaaalaa note uttered at all.