2am. I’m woken by a loud snort. My husband has rolled over onto his back and is creating a little night music with his nasal\/throat cavities.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Hey. HEY. SharkBoy.
\nSharkBoy: murh.
\nMe: Roll over.
\nSharkBoy: I need the machine gun.
\nMe: Wha –
\nSharkBoy: Maybe later you can tell me what I just said. (Rolls, falls asleep)<\/p>\n

I stayed awake just a few minutes longer than I needed.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

2am. I’m woken by a loud snort. My husband has rolled over onto his back and is creating a little night music with his nasal\/throat cavities. Me: Hey. HEY. SharkBoy. SharkBoy: murh. Me: Roll over. SharkBoy: I need the machine gun. Me: Wha – SharkBoy: Maybe later you can tell me what I just said. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-1zk","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6034"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6034"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6034\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}