I truly hate panhandlers. I do. I got yelled at by one today because I wouldnt look at him or talk to him or anything. Fucking dick. He yelled at me that he had a $10/hr job and that he was trying to make ends meet. “you and me both,” I thought. What annoyed me more was that he did it with a drag queen’s attitude. Dick.

Im looking at a guys forearm today on the streetcar and Im thinking I wish I had forearms like Popeye. He was sexy…then I thought about Baloo in The Jungle Book and how that was my first eroctic stirrings when I saw that movie at the Capital theatre in Brockville…the bit where he rubs up against the tree with his back.

After the second heavy *sigh* out of Sharkboy due to R2 *popping* out of his ship cradle (why not just have an escape gate for these astromech droids?) I realized I wasnt having much fun either. I could barely keep up with the fight sequences and when the dialogue bogged down I started wondering about how much detail they gave the little digital flying cars you can see out the windows. I could go on and on about the little things that pissed me off or I loved about it, they were equal in amount. However, just like the parliamentary vote, it was down to one last image that made me think “Ugh. This is crap!” It was Darthy’s “NOOOOO!” at the end. Hardly the reaction of an emotionless pittbull hell bent on torturing the galaxy in the name of the Emperor.

I am eager to see Lucas’ next movie to see if he’s really lost it as a director. He’s lost all sense of restraint, that’s fer sher.

Okay the acting was wooden, the direction wild and the script had me saying “Foo!” but remember that the SW series were borne from serial movies of the 30s. So at least they got that right.

And in the sprit of fun, I present (via Bacon and Eh’s Blog) The Parade of Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes. The caption for the Death Star one had me howling.

I beat my puffed out chest and show you my stats from last month! Unga!

Total Hits 	1086582
Total Files 	178201
Total Pages 	96134
Total Visits 	18319
Total KBytes 	3341512

Ignore the “Hits” because there are still residual numbers from the Bagle_av virus associated with my site. Not bad, I think, for a blog that has no real direction or comment on political views.

I think you like me. Really like me.
I PAT ME ON THE BACK, MOFOS!

So what do you want to talk about now?

Here are the Pride at the Point pics, here on the day that Canada becomes the gayest country in the western hemisphere.

In just seven days, Sharkboy and I take off for a week long celebration of camping with extra special guest stars Grizzly and Evil Panda. Also starring is The Busdriver and The Mailman.

The first weekend, the theme is “Boxers”! Sharkboy and I are prepared to be the Paris ‘n Nicole of the evening with outstanding underwear acquired from intensive shopping excursions into the heart of Toronto. Home made jewelry cheapens adorns our outfits as well!

During the week we will be taking day trips to lovely and historical Tillsonburg to show the boys various Tobbacco Museums, greasy spoons and German berry picking outlets. I can hear their excitement rise from here!!

The weekend after is The Point’s popular and sold out “Bear” weekend. The pool filters will be filled to the max, hairily, as hirsute and burly men float, cavort and chortle their weekend away. Here’s hoping we can convince Griz and EP to stay an extra few days so they can actually see the pool go from pristine blue to emrald green. And see Mr X go mental with rage since he has to clean it!

Here is a partial list of things I am brining:

• My telescope. Gotta see a moon.
• Barbie. An extra special Burning Barbie episode. Think “Lucy Lui” in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. With American guest stars too!
• An extra bed pad. I love the sound of bullfrogs at 3am but if I don’t get at least 7 hours of sleep I will purchase some firecrackers and shove them in their grenouille asses. Feh! It’s not these little critter’s fault for calling out at all hours for a mate. I can’t sleep because of the bouncy air mattress we have.
• Booze. That’s right. The liver problems I was having a while back are gone and it’s Daquiris by the pool, sommabitches!

For those of you who will not be attending, expect images of the highest calibeer… uh …ber.

While I am away, DR will be “down” (readable, but hobbled). To reduce the constant referal attacks, I will be stripping it of comment/last referal entries. Sorry kids.

Nothing like trying to learn htaccess for your personal blog while at your day job.

“It’s Punjab day here today. I’d rather be here this weekend than next. It’s Eye-tal-ea-yan weekend next weekend and they just cover the park”

We’re waiting in line for the rides to open at Canada’s Wonderland and the red-bearded daddy ahead of us is orating to his friends and various kids hanging off his Orange County Chopper t-shirt about how the park is going to fill up with… undesireables? Before I can force my eyebrows down (I hate it when people say “eye-tal-eans”) the guards opened the chain and the crowd surges forward and we take off towards “The Eyetalian Job” ride, like Honest Ed shoppers at a 2 for 1 sale.

After running in the wrong direction (like morons we went towards where the ride wasn’t, but in our defence, the crude “map”, drawn by crayon-weilding monkeys used for LSD experiments back in the 70s, shows the ride somewhere near the south west corner), we arrive to find the ride broken so we kept on running to The Mine Buster, Canada’s largest wooden roller coaster.

I still have the bruises.

This ride really needs to be retired. Staff at CW calls it “The Great Canadian Back Buster” for good reason. It has no rubber wheels like the newer rides. Steel on rail. I think I rattled out a molar. Sharkboy lost his favorite Bear hat, even after schooling me in hat retention saftey. First corner: Voop! Gone over the side.

I am sure we did 80% of all the “adult” rides. I refused a couple due to crazy heights or if the rider executes a tight forward revolution, a sure way to make me heave up a $14 chicken burger. Here are some highlights:

• The best waterslide is The Barracuda. If you are over 90kg/190lbs, then you bomb down the tube into the basin and then just swirl there 4 revolutions or so like a cheese-packed poo rotating down the lav. Plork! Into the drain and out into the Lazy River. A+ ride!

• The worst water slide is the…well I dont remember the name. You’re in a raft and you basically just go straight down a bumpy slide. Fast and wet, like all good water rides should be, sure, but within seconds its over. And if you’re big, you are going to go down backward. Too short for the wait.

• Spongebob in 3D is best watched acting more hyper than any child within the theatre.

• The Italian Job was my first linear induction ride. Halfway through the ride you’re treated to a cheesy flame and plastic helecopter effect but you’re still reeling after the first kicking accelleration. Zero to 96.56064 kph in a few yards. Since the cars are about as big as The Fly, they took extremely sharp turns at high speeds. It was worth the 30 min wait.

• Speaking of The Fly, that coaster rocks. The guy in front of us was riding with his 9yr old and turned to us when it was over and said “Looking up at it, it don’t look like nuttin’!” And I agree.

• A 13 yr old girl high on endorphines is the true definition of “comedy”. She introduced her entire posse so rapid fire I wasn’t even sure she was talking to me as I’m fudging with the straps. Moments later the ride flips us into the air. She’d been riding The Sledgehammer 9 times in a row. The last I see of her, she’s running like Steve Austin back towards the ride’s entrance.

• Best cruising spot: Kidzville. Don’t tsk or phoo phoo me. There were millions of DDKs there (That’s code for “Daddy Don’t Know (he’s hot)”) all of them sitting back watching their wives watching over their spawn in kiddie rides while checking out other hot moms. Incredible.

The next day, we wandered down to The Canadian National Exhibition. I wrote about it last year and I can add these things about it:

1) The men are hotter there than at Wonderland. I suspect it’s because the men there are rougher due to their income and therefore, sexier. At Wonderland, there were hoards of stupid white guy faux-rappers from Scarberia, as opposed to the real rappers of all sorts at The CNE. However, there were more “Bla Bla Chopper” t-shirts at Wonderland than at the CNE.

2) The CNE has tons more interesting things to photograph. I didn’t see one costumed character at Wonderland and tons at The CNE. Plus there were cows you could pose with. Real ones. Due to a glitch in my camera (it got a bit wet) I couldn’t take any pictures with it.

3) Human cannonballs rock. Much more interesting than a high wire act. Less time wanting to see the guy fail made for more relaxed bowels.

4) $2.50 for 500ml of Diet Coke is criminal. I thought the Ex was suppose to be about “deals”? I did pick up an unused DVD of Vincent Price’s The Last Man On Earth.

5) Still would not get on one of those rides if they were the last on earth. Everything on every ride was shaking. We witnessed a guy flip head first onto the ground when he lost control on one of those fun house exits. Sharkboy laughed and laughed.

One Adam 12. One Adam 12. Possible gang fight. With chains and knives

Sharkboy picked up the first season DVD and we’ve been tucking into this groovy show. If you’ve never seen this 1968 cop drama then this post will probably not make sense so you should just move along now, nothing to see here. But if you have, then you know that the scripts are lifted from actual police reports. Half the stories are open-ended and without resolution which makes viewing a lot like watching an ADD writer who’s forgotten his meds months ago, try to hack out a Law and Order episode. Its fun to try to pick out the dialoge seams as the charcaters jump from gritty, true “She hit me with a pot of hot grease!” exclamations to the humanized, cop to cop banter: “Gee Pete, do you think you can take one of my puppies?”

I also love how they portray the hippie culture in harsh contrast to the incredibly boring, straight laced cops. Always, the criminal element has a vest (the more velour, the greater the probability of “smack” and “pot” use) and some sort of pendant that could make the dresser for Jesus Christ Superstar weep openly. There are subversive moments every so often that makes you go hmmmm, like the teen who tries to sell stolen credit cards with his “pal” from “San Francisco”, who is dressed rather foppishly. Or the two guys picked up for “driving around looking for a friend’s house” who eye each other nervously when asked why they have a bike sticking out of their trunk. And you have to love an episode that’s called “Log 131: Reed, the Dicks Have Their Jobs, and We Have Ours”

The above “chains and knives” quote is from the show’s beginning. We always giggle a bit when the dispatch says that part because she sounds so nasal and bored. As gay men are wont to do, Sharkboy and I have started to quote this when we are being catty while people watching:

“One Adam 12, one Adam 12. See the man. Far exer-cycle, north east corner of weight room. Possible neck injury. Suspect boogying too hard with walkman while cycling.”

“One Adam 12, one Adam 12. See the woman. Walking by us now. Black socks and birkenstocks. Code Ew.”

“One Adam 12, one Adam 12. See the man. Possible hubba hubba, aroooogah.”

And, as a beautiful memory marker that both Sharkboy and I are convinced was an influence to our homosexuality, is the ending: A sweaty, dirty, meaty hand bangs down twice on a brand, pulling away to reveal “A MARK VII PRODUCTION”

The first issue of Aeon Flux is out and it’s 9.5 out of 10 in my opinion. The artwork has nods to Peter Chung’s original character/layout design and the writing manages to pull quotes from the original cartoons while tying in the movie look and feel nicely. MTV has some panels for your parusal, but you have to sit through some ads (pop up link, near the bottom).

I have a feeling that the movie will not be as true-to-the-comic (cartoon?) as Sin City but time will tell.

I’m so excited that I nearly dropped the comic book in the toilet of my office loo.

Lets see… w. w. w. dot monster dot c. a.

Click on Salary Profiler. *click*

Enter some data. Typetty type type. *click*

Well welly well!