The Olsen Twins will be able to do porn legally soon… I cant wait till those whores are on Playboy.

Speaking of whores, I miss Mike… I keep on finding his pic on alt.bears.binaries.whack.off.pics.bears.did.I.mention.bears?moderated. Yeah I cruise newsgroups. Thats so ’94. I digress…Mike did these pics a few years back for a photographer’s site…someone raided it I guess or he released them himself. Who can say? Again…Im rambling. The point is I feel weird finding these pics when Im cruising for porn. Its an ego boost (I slept with that!) and a Jealous Italian curse at the same time. When we were together, i was always jealous of him. He had the personality and the charm and he would attract the guys around him like flies around a dirty Le Chateau bolero jacket covered in marinated steak blood. You get the picture…He was the happy open one in our relationship. I miss his laughter. I could make him laugh easy…which I loved about him. I could pick my nose and he would laugh. I think our relationship was based on humour: we met by me posting an idiot pic on my chat profile…wait…I’ll get it…Here it is…me in a dress goofing like an idiot in front of a Hello Kitty doll. I was the only pic like that in gay.com’s bear room. He messaged me instantly. I wont go into the details of our break up and weird reconnection but we’re in this greyzone relationship thing where I may or may not be moving out to Vancouver next year. We’re meeting up in Calgary next month. I cant wait. Like I said, he made me happy when he was laughing.

Overheard (hard not to) while waiting for a trainer and her padawan health nut at the leg curl machine:

“With all the research I’ve been doing I have discovered that the terrorists who died during 9-11 were all extremely handsome men. Dispite the US trying to villainze them.”

“I have been spending a lot of time on Corbis.com looking at news images of tragedy and disaster. Of course you have that big watermark on the pictures but you get a sense of what’s going on.”

“I have to push myself away from my computer or else I really get caught up with these images.”

At this point, I shoot a look at the personal trainer who I am sure is not even getting paid 1/10th what she deserves for listening to this stuff. She’s near-pineapple ham glazed over.

Meanwhile:
Last Sunday, Sharkboy and I did our first Aquafit class, which was fun, dispite being in the pool by 7:45am (We’re going to go off Coronation Street for a while – who has 4 hours on a Sunday to watch Dev and Sanita drool over each other?). The class was lead by a suprisingly grounded and calm instructor who had created a great program for short and tall, old and young, healthy and not so healthy. I felt pretty good getting through this class (it was the first aerobic work out I have ever been to since that near-puking episode at Spinning class back in ’96). Sure Sharkboy and I were the youngest, skin-tightiest, non-wheezing whale-like participants but we did manage to work up a sweat (in a pool?) and my calves are paying for it today.

I absolutely hate forgeting something at home. These days I’m going to the gym, stopping at Sharkboy’s and dropping off freelance work so the chances are pretty good that I will forget something really important back at home.

This morning I walked right up to the Subway gates and realized that I had paid the streetcar driver what should have been $2.50 but instead I had thrown into his box a twoonie and two subway tokens. No biggie. I’ll just go ’round the corner to the bank and get some money…

Wallet. Not. In. Pocket.

In my minds eye, I can see my wallet hopping up and down on my night table saying “Hey! Wait for me!”

Penniless, I had to hoof it over to Sharkboy’s office and sweat profusely in front of his co-workers as he gave me a twenty.

I failed to mention in my previous camping posts about seeing some fireflies for the first time since I was 13 yrs old or so. It really brought me back.

This weekend we saw:

• a real bunny by the side of the road, floppy ears and all
• a dead bunny by the side of the road, all of his body was floppy
• a mole (like…what? Who sees a “mole” these days?)
• a whole mess of mini-toads. Thousands of them. Like fireflies, I haven’t seen these little cuties since my childhood
• the most amount of Daddylonglegs I have ever seen in one spot. It was like our tent was Tom Cruise and we were in Minority Report

I am truly a city boy when these little animals amaze me.

Expect pictures soon. I need to edit heavy because I did some of the “Survivor” contest in the buff.

Right now I am wearing black socks, my day-old Y fronts and nothing else. I just this moment sneaked a toot out my right cheek. I’m eating a Mac N Cheese Bologna sammich with ketchup.

No, it’s on Dempster’s brown. What do you think I am? Uncooth?

I know of a beautiful 2 bedroom condo sublet at Bloor and Bay. If anyone is interested, comment here with email!

I love movies, don’t get me wrong, but the Toronto Int’l Film Festival is beginning to grate on my nerves. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see The AGCO go after these big “schmoozefest” parties for liquor infractions like they did for the Church Street bars during Pride?

“Your honour, on the night of Friday September 9th, I did willfully see David Cronenberg walk between licensed and unlicensed zones at Sassafraz with an open container of alcohol in his hands. As well I observed a Mr Downey Jr. obtain an unspecified amount of cocaine from the stomach of a woman in the ladies’ washroom via his nose. Also, Nicole Kidman was wearing a gown that was in fashion last season and should be given a citation for that… just because.”

“Guilty! 30 day suspension! For all of them!”

So exactly why would a gay person want to be part of this organization? So rife with understanding and compassion.

And they couldn’t have chosen a more appropriate picture.

The Guardian is reporting that Siemens has developed a paper thin TV screen for cheap (about $50/metre). The screen is powered by paper thin batteries and can receive a charge remotely but currently the screens aren’t expected to last much longer than a few days.

Scan ahead a few decades with me and indulge my imagination: You’re lost in the city. You extend your arm and your sleeve accesses the nearby access station wirelessly. You touch your appointments icon and an arrow appears across your forearm directing you to where you want to go. With an abundance of cheap video I suspect that written language will die or at least be pared down to a base level and we will rely on sound and symbol more, cutting out the need to s-p-e-l-l everything out. Visual communication will be reverted to a curious mix of Nintendo icons resembling Celtic runes/Egyptian hieroglyphics, created for fast download and maximum impact. I can imagine English being morphed into a video-Esperanto.

Think of it… Graphic Design will superceed English language lessons in school. Crazy! It’s a future I could live with.

Proof that you should leave hairy chests alone.