First day with the contacts. I have to say, I kept on thinking:
Oh. I forgot my glasses somewhere.
Oh. I can see!
Oh. I can’t see close.
I’ve sacrificed my bi-focal glasses for these middle-to-distance contacts (vanity, thy name is dead robot). Because the nature of my perscription, they’re made of plastic, which makes me aware that they’re in there after a couple hours. They dry out faster than silicone.
But I’m happy! While waiting for SharkBoy, an acquaintance walked by and did a double take, unsure that it was me without my glasses on.
I know I shun memes but I think this one gives a good cross section of my personality through pop culture. Also, I’m waiting for work to come across my desk so I thought I’d meme myself, privately, in my cube.
Via Gambrinous comes The Entertainment Weekly top 100 Movies from the Last 25 Years and your personal gripes.
– Bold the movie if you’ve seen it (actually it’s easier if I bold the ones I HAVEN’T seen, so that’s what I’ve done.)
– Put asterisks next to the movies you’ve seen and really liked (3*** = great! 2**= Hum ya! 1*= S’was OK)
– If you saw a film and hated it, cross it out.
1. Pulp Fiction 1994*
2. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy 2001-03**
3. Titanic 1997*
4. Blue Velvet 1986***
5. Toy Story 1995*
6. Saving Private Ryan 1998 (saw 2/3rds of it on video)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters 1986 (Snore! No Lightsabers!)
8. The Silence of the Lambs 1991**
9. Die Hard 1988 (Didn’t do much for me)
10. Moulin Rouge 2001 (Ewan McGregor shouts the songs for 2 hours – owch!)
11. This Is Spinal Tap 1984**
12. The Matrix 1999***
13. GoodFellas 1990***
14. Crumb 1995
15. Edward Scissorhands 1990**
16. Boogie Nights 1997*
17. Jerry Maguire 1996
18. Do the Right Thing 1989*
19. Casino Royale 2006***
20. The Lion King 1994**(Jeremy Irons should only do cartoon villains from now on)
21. Schindler’s List 1993*
22. Rushmore 1998
23. Memento 2001***
24. A Room With a View 1986
25. Shrek 2001**
26. Hoop Dreams 1994
27. Aliens 1986***
28. Wings of Desire 1988
29. The Bourne Supremacy 2004**
30. When Harry Met Sally… 1989
31. Brokeback Mountain 2005***
32. Fight Club 1999***
33. The Breakfast Club 1985*
34. Fargo 1996**
35. The Incredibles 2004***
36. Spiderman 2 2004
37. Pretty Woman 1990 (So plausible!)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 2004
39. The Sixth Sense 1999***
40. Speed 1994*
41. Dazed and Confused 1993
42. Clueless 1995
43. Gladiator 2000**
44. The Player 1992*
45. Rain Man 1988
46. Children of Men 2006***(one of my top ten all times)
47. Men in Black 1997*
48. Scarface 1983***
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 2000***
50. The Piano 1993*
51. There Will Be Blood 2007
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad 1988*
53. The Truman Show 1998**
54. Fatal Attraction 1987**
55. Risky Business 1983*
56. The Lives of Others 2006
57. There’s Something About Mary 1998*
58. Ghostbusters 1984**
59. L.A. Confidential 1997***
60. Scream 1996**
61. Beverly Hills Cop 1984 (didn’t find it funny)
62. sex, lies and videotape 1989 (didnt find it…)
63. Big 1988
64. No Country For Old Men 2007***
65. Dirty Dancing 1987
66. Natural Born Killers 1994***
67. Donnie Brasco 1997**
68. Witness 1985*
69. All About My Mother 1999
70. Broadcast News 1987
71. Unforgiven 1992*
72. Thelma & Louise 1991*
73. Office Space 1999 (I know… I know…)
74. Drugstore Cowboy 1989
75. Out of Africa 1985*
76. The Departed 2006***
77. Sid and Nancy 1986
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day 1991 *
79. Waiting for Guffman 1996
80. Michael Clayton 2007***
81. Moonstruck 1987
82. Lost in Translation 2003 (again, saw 2/3rds of it)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn 1987*
84. Sideways 2004
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin 2005**
86. Y Tu Mamá También 2002*
87. Swingers 1996
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery 1997**
89. Breaking the Waves 1996
90. Napoleon Dynamite 2004***
91. Back to the Future 1985*
92. Menace II Society 1993
93. Ed Wood 1994**
94. Full Metal Jacket 1987***
95. In the Mood for Love 2001
96. Far From Heaven 2002
97. Glory 1989
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley 1999**
99. The Blair Witch Project 1999**
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut 1999***
I viewed a lot of people doing The Walk of Shame throughout this sporadic long weekend. You know the look: dazed, 100 metre stare with much regret behind their eyes; wrinkled clothes that just don’t look right in the full light of day (leather pants? In 25C heat?); and the shuffling that comes with the combination of too much alcohol and bruise-making sex.
It got me to thinking: What’s the best way to get back home and avoid street level embarrassment?
Here’s my hints and tips!
Leave early. Know that the traffic starts to pick up after 7am. Get out that door and giving yourself enough time to walk home while wearing those obvious clothes (unless you’ve worn ass-less chaps the night before, take a cab. No commuter who may spy your journey home, no matter what their sexual orientation, will take you seriously).
Consider your route home. If you have to walk by a school or playground or catty outdoor cafe full of hip young things, be prepared to feel the icy sting of comments and stares landing squarely on your back.
Don’t sleep there when the deed is done. Save yourself the trouble and pain. No mater how drunk, get your ass out of there.
Don’t spend all your money the night before. Taxis, while recently have increased their fares, are still great for avoiding the long walk home. If your one night stand lives in Scarborough and you live downtown, stop drinking appropriately.
Find a bush and finish up there. This way, nobody gets robbed. Nobody has to sneak glances at letters in the hallway to remember a name. Nobody gets breakfast. Downside: dog poop on your butt.
Steal. When your host is in the loo, steal a clean t-shirt. Unless you’re a chubby chasing, rail thin guy, you may want to steal a washcloth.
The day our little community said “Thanks, but no thanks (but call, ok?)” to the Queen.
Early morning bike ride along the waterfront reminded me why I don’t do early morning rides along the waterfront on a public holiday. People certainly have forgotten the old silly rule of “keep right” and “look both ways” etc etc.
Never mind. Sharkboy and I made a new friend. ElectroSquirrel!
PS: Make sure you wander over to Sharkboy’s blog daily. He’s doing “A Summer Outfit A Day” for July!
o No Promotions/Contests
o No Countdowns
o No Posters out of the store
o No Flyers
o No Radio remotes
o No Mailers
o No Alteration of Store Hours
o No Swag
o No Tshirts with any reference to Apple or Iphone
o No advertising until 13 weeks post launch
Okay okay. Total Rogers behaviour (no swag?! Sheesh!). The document goes on to detail in-store activation and even advises associates on proper terminology:
Glossary:
Bricked: Default state of the iPhone, only emergency calls allowed. Unbrick: Enabling the phone for services. Tethering: Connecting an iPhone to a computer running iTunes. Activation: Customer account setup and CTN provisioning which is completed in-store and is immediate. This is identical to today’s process for other wireless products.
Someone tell the Marketing department that a “bricked” iPhone is when it’s in a totally unusable state of operation (hence the name). iPhones come out of the box able to dial 911 at least. Not a brick. But of course we’re talking Rogerspeak here, not the terminology from Hackintosh that’s been around for a year now. You’d never do anything to your phone to void the warranty like that, no comrade. *See Update below
Tethering (according to Rogers themselves) is when you use a mobile device (likely a network card) as modem. According to the above, it’s just a USB hook up. From Rogers mobile pages:
Tethering is when you use your phone as a wireless modem to connect to the Internet. The phone can be connected via USB cable or Bluetooth. Once connected, you can access the Internet wirelessly on your laptop using the Rogers Wireless network. While accessing the Internet wirelessly on your computer, data charges are incurred at a rate of 5¢/KB.
I am getting a feeling that the in-store activation process is going to be a clusterfuck. If anyone has experienced changing a plan or signing up in a Rogers Retail store before, you know it’s like getting a root canal while someone hard-sells you for white veneers. Painful, hard to follow and awkward.
Too tired to upload this one last night: Kids on TV’s Roxanne Luchak and John Caffery dance up the crowd at the south stage beer garden with MEN at the laptops (who did a great job, by the way).
You can see the kind of energy KoTV bring to the stage. Yesterday they gave a fun show, but the sound was really off. No beats or bass for most of the set. Whadapwitdat?
Oh and I want to say again: The Mayor felt up my husband. I’m still blown away by that.
Thursday:
Met up with The Photogs, The Mailman and Mr Insurance and broke my first rule of Pride (I think I broke 99% of them, this year), and had drinks at O’Greedys. Just drinks. While the service was attentive, mostly it was just smokey. Two pitchers of sangria, one pitcher of tap beer and a basket of poppers came to $120. Thanks for not letting me down, O’Greedys!
Friday, we went to get SharkBoy’s new ink and saw Wall•E. 72 hours later and I’m still thinking about it. Sign of a really good movie. Meesh was a bit endorphined-out so we headed home early, no visit to the street.
Saturday was busy: 7:30am we went to The Terminal Barber, where we manscaped, then off to the optomitrist where we met the most delightful new salesperson in the shop connected to our doctor’s office. She sussed us out in seconds and we left after SharkBoy dropped $1000 on new frames, lenses and contacts. Ow.
Then off to Church Street for breakfast again (I know I know), but huge KUDOS for The Churchmouse for not gouging their customers, just reducing the amount on the menu for faster service. So far I can say I have never had a bad meal there. Various early morning freaks abounded.
Off to a mid-day party at a friend’s at Radio City. These guys own a condo on the 9th floor who’s patio is as equally large as their condo. It was fantastic! Met new people and got a bit wet with some waterfuns.
Home for a drunk nap, then onto the street to try to catch TransX and Dragonette. Line up was impossible, so we stood outside the beer garden and while we could still hear them, bopped by ourselves. Home to bed.
Sunday was possibly the most relaxed Pride I’ve ever had. Breakfast in bed with Coronation Street (as usual) and then off to the Coach House for some real food. Then we wandered the street, chatting with people and taking the odd photo. This year I didn’t really have the heart to take pictures of weirdos and freaks like I’ve done in the past. I’m bitter about being bitter.
We got to see Kids on TV after a great set by two DJs who’s names I didn’t catch, but they played Black Kids, and we danced like 21 year olds. Then, we see Mayor David Miller. In a queer beer garden. Name any other mayor who’d do that. As Kids on TV are waving around a dildo-encrusted blow up sex doll, The Honourable David Miller was moving respectively and chatting with people around him, allowing photos to be taken and having a great time. He walked right by us and I guess SharkBoy had huge saucers for eyes (because the Mayor is like, you know, his boss, sort of) because The Honourable David Miller smiled wide and said to both of us WHILE PLACING A HAND ON SHARKBOY’S CHEST: “Happy Pride!”
Man has my vote.
Back home for a powernap and to tend to SharkBoy’s burning scalp. Poor dear. Overcast skies CAN burn you. Anyway, we went back to see Jully Black and SharkBoy wore his ThinkGeek Equalizer shirt. Which was a bit of a mistake. By 10pm, 99% of the people in the street and beer gardens are pissed to the gills. Wearing a shirt that flashes light in sync with sound for a couple thousand drunk people was asking for abuse. He drew attention to himself above and beyond what he’s use to and I was seething with jealousy. I’m not often out-gadgeted by SharkBoy. He was getting stopped every 2 feet and was chatted up which made me dance harder or hoot at the music or juggle plates. At one point someone waved at me. Gladly I wandered over and the person said “Can you move over? I want my friend to see that guy’s shirt.”
Mostly people swore at him: “THAT’S A FUCKIN’ AWESOME SHIRT!” “FUCK! COOL!” and “HOLY FUCK HOW DOES THAT WORK?” while they pawed his chest. One woman got a nice Indian burn on her wrist from not getting the clue of “no touchy!!” Poor drunk dear. Video below:
Thursday:
Then off to Church Street for breakfast again (I know I know), but huge KUDOS for The Churchmouse for not gouging their customers, just reducing the amount on the menu for faster service. So far I can say I have never had a bad meal there. Various early morning freaks abounded. 
We got to see Kids on TV after a great set by two DJs who’s names I didn’t catch, but they played