Ads On The Fly

Dead Robot October 30, 2009 Distractions

Leela: Didn’t you have ads in the 21st century?

Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games..and on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams, no siree.

Via @Phronk on Twitter

Last Minute Attempts At Awesome

Dead Robot October 30, 2009 Distractions, Personal Bits, Toronto

Fry: It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?

I can’t believe how many of you are hitting this blog via frantic searches for “Werewolf costume” and expect to pull something out of your asses within the next 24 hours. Shame on you! I started mine back in June. You can’t rush perfection!

Of course I’m kidding. I value the people who try. Seriously.

The last few times we’ve done Halloween on Church Street we’ve always managed to amuse ourselves at the people dressed in the What The Fuck Costumes. That is, the drunk Ryerson student who throws on a boa or dollar store rubber mask and think they’re “ready to go”. Or witness the people who go to a costume shop and grumble at the variety of sexy nurse costumes the day before Halloween, and wind up being a ghost in a sheet.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to ‘Ween this year. Even if I do fall and break my leg and get H1N1.

Teaching Wrestling Moves

Dead Robot October 30, 2009 Celebs and Media

Great PSA on how to hide your sexual orientation from your parents:

Via BoingBoing

More Avatar. Same Story?

Dead Robot October 29, 2009 Celebs and Media

Longer, cooler, trailer for Avatar. Still has the whole Pocahontas/Fern Gully vibe though. I expect this one is going to be fantastic to watch, excruciating to follow.

In For a Penny, In For a Pound

Dead Robot October 28, 2009 Personal Bits

According to the Globe this morning, I’ve gone through Stage 2 of the H1N1 virus. I had all the symptoms (except loss of appetite – ha!) and still feel “gross” or lethargic after 6 days into it.

Of course I read this at work. Can I go home now?

Mexican Standoff

Dead Robot October 28, 2009 Celebs and Media

Dear “local TV stations” and “Cable Service Providers”

Fuck off. Both of you. You both get money from consumers in either direct service payments or in tax revenues, funded by… us!

So when you complain that this “cost” will be passed on to us (either in a negative, as you say LocalTVMatters.ca or as a positive (?!??) as you flippantly mention every time, Rogers), I just want to kick you both to the curb.

God be damned, these two “businesses” are behaving like a Mommy and a Daddy arguing in front of the kids! And Daddy is pointing at us and saying how stupid our kids are and he hates Mommy and Mommy says he’s fat and just as stupid as the kids while the kids are curled up into a ball waiting for the hitting to start.

Dear non-Canadian readers: sorry. Here’s a list of puppy names.

Formative Pop – Halloween Story #3

Dead Robot October 28, 2009 Personal Bits

I don’t recall how old I was.

I don’t recall what I was wearing.

I do recall the following details vividly, though.

It’s Halloween night probably around 1977 and it’s almost 8pm. I and two other friends, Mitch Hart and Paul Naylor, were heading back to the street corner we’d all have to split up at and walk back home alone.

See kids, back then, parents let their kids out without supervision. Go watch Mad Men. It’s true!

Anywhoot, we’re a block away from our final corner, each of us boasting on what kind of candy we got (heavily influenced by the Charlie Brown Halloween Special – “I got a rock…”) when Paul’s eyes lit up like a jack-o-lantern with a flame thrower in it. He grab’s Mitch’s arm and spins him around.

“Go!” he shouts.

Paul and Mitch, being much more athletic than I was (I’m Booksmart!), take off like the wind.

I’m slow. I’m like, candy drunk slow. “Wha…?”

Out of the blue I’m body checked to the ground. My bag goes flying out of my hands. Two teenagers scoop up my loot and run off down the street yelling back at me to stop crying like a baby.

I wasn’t crying when this all happened. I had the decorum to cry at home, alone in my room, thank you very much.