Tag Archives: trailers

In Times of Economic Troubles…

Celebs and Media, Distractions

…Zack And Miri Make A Porno.

You’ve probably heard of this movie by now. It has nothing to do with Aptow but does have the post-teen comedy sensibilities that he’s been known for and it’s from Kevin Smith. The movie has already gained notoriety for it’s original posters being yanked in the US (portrait shots of the two leads subtlety getting head) and replaced with sarcastic text next to stick figures. Thankfully, Canada has a sense of humour and I get to see Seth Rogan’s happy “O face” every morning on a local bus shelter.

At this point I have to admit that I have a big man/bear crush on Seth Rogan and Kevin Smith: admitted geeks and big funny guys with facial hair, so I’m kind of biased. But after seeing the preview I (and I am sure many others) asked myself “What the hell does Miri see in Zack?” She’s a bit too beautiful to be hanging out/hooking up with someone like Seth in my books, but the trailer makes her look slobbish matching Seth’s re-occurring character choices of the slovenly lovable mensch. It’s typical of Kevin Smith’s movies to have one casting moment where you have to suspend some belief (Uh… Allanis Morrisette as God?). But in getting Traci Lords to do a small part might wipe that all out and redeem his past transgressions.

My second admission is that I, like so many of you out there, have always wanted to be revered/paid for as a sex porno god. If my family is reading, go away. I’ve never acted upon this desire, but there it is.

The Dark Knight – a 20 Second Review

You Stupid Dick

Hey Kids, Shelly here!

At the 2 hour, 20 minute mark I thought to myself, how would Bollywood handle this? I concluded that other than the musical numbers, the effects would be much cheaper, but just as “real” and the bits where drama crossed over into melodrama would be a bit sharper and noticable. My mind only started to wonder this because right at the Joker’s biggest, last monologue, we had to endure a theatre staff scanning us for camcorders. Why I went to Bollywood, I don’t know – I guess I noticed a bit of overacting on Gary Oldman’s part? But otherwise, the movie lived up to 90% of the hype.

Yes Heath is as good as you’ve heard but as a supporting actor, as SharkBoy pointed out. His Joker was new and vile and had all the “love to hate” qualities that make a good villain. But he was nothing unless he was doing something to someone. Even at his highest comical moment, he’s inflicting damage on someone else. Without the other characters he’d just be a rambling psycho.

The story is engaging and smart, going beyond expectations for our basic comic book movie. It’s tense and loose where it needs to be and has more twists than expected. And thank god Batman can turn his head in that cowl now.

At this point I want to give a message to ScotiaBank theatre managers: fuck off. You heard me, twats. I am not a criminal, stop treating me like I am. I know that stealing a movie is a crime. Do you see the OPP standing on the side of the highway stopping us individually, telling us speeding is wrong? No, you don’t so you can stop with the asinine trailers about it. And tell the poor minimum wage drones you order into the theatre to scan the crowd for camcorders that doing so right at the biggest monologue moment in the show makes going to your theatre like watching a movie at your grandmothers. Oh and fix that fucking escalator, you lazy dicks.

So in all, a 5 out of 5! But don’t go see it at ScotiaBank.