Fantasy #234b

Personal Bits

I want aliens to come down to earth and provide us all one mutant/super power. The catch is that it has to be lame, really lame. I would become Captain Swirlo and would have my chest hair exposed through a hole in my tights. My special power is to vaguely hypnotize my enemies by swirling my chest hair in a singular direction. By “vaguely” I mean that I can manipulate their minor choices during the day. “Tuna fish for luuuuunch! Tuna fish for luuuuunch!”

My nemesis would be Tooclose, a dastardly villain that has the power to walk behind me too close and get me pissed off while I’m trying to have a conversation with a friend.

You can tell I think this crap up in the shower.

3 thoughts on “Fantasy #234b

  1. Furface

    I know, Cpt. Swirlo. But that calls for Sweeping Ethnic Generalization Man – and he’s out of town right now.

  2. Furface

    I would be MASTICO. Under my super lame power I would force everyone to chew with their mouths closed and swallow before speaking.

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