The War On Tea

The Bad, You Stupid Dick

Earlier this week I Twittered that Starbucks new full leaf tea tasted like getting tongued by Gene Simmons after he ate a burnt woodland creature. I have to retract that as that the new Barista at my regular coffee jag gave me “Awake” tea in error instead of my regular Earl Grey. Starbucks Awake tea is awful. Trust me.

But the sadness continues. They’ve discontinued their regular tea line and replaced all of it with the full leaf teas. I’m only mildly grumbling about that. It’s a lateral change in my mind – I’m sure on some suit’s desk in Seattle there’s a calculator flashing a big number indicating how much the company will save if they omit the tea leaf cutting and drying step. Whatever. The taste is different, not bad, not better, just different. That’s grumbling point number one.

Number two is that they’re upped the price of tea AND are now charging for two bags if you purchase a Venti tea, even if you only want one. Why are they suddenly doing this? Two tea bags are way too strong! Especially full leaf tea!

The manager of my regular Starbucks was very apologetic. After 6 years of service they know me well. He actually winced when he suggested I take the extra tea bag with me, out of cup, or start purchasing cheaper Grande cups of tea instead of my regular Venti. I just opted to pay the Venti price and take one bag.

From a distance I can hear a calculator laugh at me.

Please don’t make me go back to Tim “Green Tea?” Hortons…

One thought on “The War On Tea

  1. SharkBoy

    I’m sort of unhappy with Starbucks too this week, most of the staff at mine has changed in the last few months with the manager leaving for another location and all of a sudden, it’s not the same service at all… twice I’ve been called to the cash register to give my order before the person that was there had left… to which I replied the same I do when I’m forced to go to Tim Horton’s: “It’s ok, I’ll wait my turn!”… At least at Starbucks they know what I mean and look like they’re sorry

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