Bumpy Ride

Toronto, You Stupid Dick

Subway, 8:04am. Front car. Somewhat crowded, not shoulder to shoulder, but getting there and I have my back against the driver’s cab wall when a man holding a coffee gets on and stands directly in front of me. He’s decided to keep an overstuffed knapsack well in place on his back in this crowded car – whatever. People should take them off in busy trains but I’ve given up riling against that stupid wall of stupidity long ago. His pack brushes against my iPhone a couple times so I hike it above the top of his bag and continue playing.

With every stop his knapsack bumps into my chest/stomach. Ugh. I have nowhere to go, either side of me has people. After the 5th bump I give the bag a gentle nudge forward. Enough to let him know it’s hitting me, not enough to be rude. He is holding coffee over the sitting people in front of him.

It continues for two more stations.

Without stopping my game or looking up from my screen, I push his bag hard to the right. No question as to why the sudden jolt. He whips around. I finally see that Mr Knapsack an adult (I was expecting a high school kid) and his eyes are angry.

“Your bag kept hitting me,” I say. My eyes focus and get decidedly more angrier than his. I’m in no mood for this shit.


He then stands perpendicular to me, sipping his coffee. His eyes light on my screen as I continue to play LUXOR on my iPhone.

I look up and lock eyes. He turns.

Yeah, that’s right, bitch.