One problem I find having an iPad out in the wild is that people want to look at my screen. More so than say, a laptop or a netbook. I think it’s partially because the iPads are relatively new and partially that people are nosey fucks. That being said I think it’s time some European governing board throws money at a docent to create a list of neighbourly screen etiquette (why European? I always thought they were classy people. I digress). While this is in the works, things like this are happening all over the world:
Client: “I have the inspiration photos on my phone, I can show you what I’m talking about now.”[Client holds the phone facing me and scrolls through the photos with his finger.]
Client: See, these colors. Here’s another one…[Client scrolls a little too enthusiastically, and lands on a photo of his smiling face next to a giant erect penis.]
Client: “Oh! Ha! Not that one.”
Meeting continues uncomfortably for another 20 minutes.
From Clients from Hell
Not really an iPad story but something similar nearly happened to me when I handed over my iPad to my nephew. Not that I carry around pictures of body parts on my portables but I did have a cock picture from some porn site saved on my photo album to email off to someone as a joke. I now cleanse my electronics if I know he’s going to be around.
One of my last days at Apple, I had an attractive, muscular man approach me with a wonky iPad. I did the initial questioning as to what might be wrong and I thought it might be a settings issue. I asked if we could turn it on and look at it together. He fired up the iPad and it connected to the store’s WiFi network automatically. He had been here before. As we were poking around the settings a pop up window announced that FURFKR has WOOFED @ YOU via the app SCRUFF. In his embarrassment, he jabbed at the window, aiming for the Cancel button, missing it and hitting Respond instead, prompting Scuff to open. He desperately tried to stop it, but in panic mode, he forgot that just pressing the homescreen button exits any app.
“Popular guy,” I say, trying to deflect his flabberglastnos. (like that? I just made that word up. It means “to be frustrated and come to terms with it”)
“I barely know how to work this fucking thing,” he sighs.
“I love Scruff, don’t worry.”
I’ve had similar situations happen to me, forgetting I’ve allowed Push Notifications to run in some apps. While showing off the device, windows would pop up letting everyone looking that “RAMROD has sent you a MESSAGE!”
App of the Day: Scruff
What is Scruff? I was using Grindr before in the iPhone but it looks weird. Scruff looks like they designed the user profiles as an afterthought. But, with that said, the class of guys (bearish, primarily, in whatever iteration you might think “bear” means) populate this chat program. Once you get past the 100 warnings that you might see nudity (and the stern talking to you get when you upload a profile pic – NO NUDES!!), the interface is easy and basically scaled up from the iPhone version, but with bigger pics. I love the coy “Not my type”/”Maybe…”/”Hot damn!” choice buttons to let the person who’s profile you checked out, know that you have a boner for them. Or not. As a gay man, I get a whispy forlorn feeling seeing hot guys described as being “…far away” when it comes to their location. Sigh!