Hello? Anyone?
Helllloooooo?
I have a few seconds before going out for wedding crap. If you’re reading this then you’re bored.
Ever wonder what it’d be like to be SPIDERMAN? Were the physics just a bit too unreal for you? Try this game. Addictive like the linerider.
I got to 85ft. Dropping kills you. Going too high kills you. Getting caught in curly-cues kills you. Double clicking sends out two strands. Good luck!
Line Rider (Via Lifehacker) is going to eat up my afternoon. Make sure the first line you draw is pointed down-ish, left to right. Don’t let him drop too far.
Okay, someone needs some management supervision if you have this much time at your desk. Holy. Crap!
This is an old meme, but I never tire of it. This guy must have had a few thousand bob to make this video. I watch it and start fantasizing about killing leaving my office and just… going. You know?
Who doesn’t?
Bear, party of 8, headed to Miami, Florida, Dec 02 for one night.
Can anyone suggest a good hotel around US$70-US$100/night? Sharkboy and I have worked ourselves up into a tizzy googling hotels and their online customer reviews, most of which have the words “Bed bugs”, “hooker”, and “disgusting”.
We stayed at the Best Western last year and it was ok – not great for $120US. The room wasn’t ready when we arrived 2pm, staff seemed put off that I asked to cash a traveller’s cheque and generally regarded us with dead eyes. The hotel was clean(ish) and was fine for one night but I think we could do better.
Suggestions? Comments?
Good:
Better:
Back in the 80s, my actor brother tanked at an audition for the Shaw Festival and in his dispair, he wrote to Christopher Newton almost a letter a week for a year. Well not quite a letter-a-week, but he did adapt his letters into a great chapbook detailing the year in a life of a struggling actor as he wades through audtions and low-paid jobs. If you email him, he might have a copy around somewhere.
In the same vein, I’ve started to send commercial spoof ideas to Rick Mercer. He’s responded in the past saying according to his lawyers, he can’t use them (or was he being polite and doesn’t like them?) and commented on the antics in my gallery. Here’s another scene I’ve sent to him:
Scene: Outdoors, a city park seen from a static camera, overlooking a somewhat busy walkway. An “actor” dressed in city worker’s uniform comes into frame and holds a shovel up. Jokingly, he swings the shovel in the air like it was the world series. He winks knowingly at the camera, suggesting something good is going to happen.
Scene: Goofy, loopy cartoonish music plays as we see the same park at a slightly longer shot. We can see that there are people walking past the Actor as he digs a hole next to the sidewalk. A man passes him and the Actor lets fly with the shovel blade to the back of the Pedestrian’s head. Whack. The Pedestrian stumbles and falls. He gets up holding the back of his head and starts to verbally abuse the Actor but we don’t hear what he says due to the loopy music. The Actor drops the shovel and with balled fists, nails the Pedestrian square in the nose. The Pedestrian goes down and struggles to get back up, angrily protesting as he rises. The Actor kidney punches the Pedestrian and he goes down again.
After a few good shots, the Pedestrian comes back into frame with a bloodied nose, puffy eye, etc. He’s a mess. As the Actor hauls back to land another blow, the Pedestiran holds up his hands in fear. The Actor stops and starts to laugh. Jovially, he takes the Pedestrian by the shoulder and points out the hidden camera there… there… and there.
Logo: Just for Laughs Gags! Your Pain is our Pleasure!
Oh Rick, can’t you see that I am aching here? Please put me on your payroll!
What a frigging rush last night was! The energy of the room was so charged I felt like I could say “poop!” and people would laugh. I did a great set of “Slow Motion Commentary” (think MXC but with the athletes moving in slow motion) with Lisa, Evangeline and Rene that killed. “Imma Go Git” was fun but I fell out of character near the end of it (I had to be blind in one eye, talk using Western phrases and trip every third step). The rest whizzed by so quickly… I have to single out Evangeline for the best line of the evening: Her line during a Film Noir short scene with Earl brought the house down: “You’re cheap like a $0.10 steak and just as tough.” Brilliant! Obviously she’s been studying!
Our next “Happy Monkeys – Invaders from The Danforth” show will be Sunday October 15th.
I’ll be up on stage again at the Bad Dog theatre this Friday at 10pm for their “That Friday Show”. Face time!
I wish 2/3rds of the blogs out there would have heeded to these words, evident by the jump in partisan blogs on the Non-Partisan Blogging Alliance.
Sometimes I wish *I* had, but I’m happy to mutter to the great cyberspace like a pee-smelling street troll.
“Hi fan!”
– Daily Show correspondent to his real-time video blog camera.
Trapped in Napanee. Blew a tire. Staying @ The Twin Peaks motel. I’m ok but freaked out a bit. More l8r.
Wedged in between Caledonia and the upper outer reaches of Hamilton is The Killman Zoo. An ironically named, farmlike spot where Sharkboy and I bravely decided to stop on our way back from camping this weekend.
I say “bravely” because the approach to Killman Zoo is much like the opening scene of Texas Chainsaw Massacre: you exit highway 6 on a long deserted country road, leading to a house set back behind high hedges and discarded farm equipment, hand-painted signs shakey neon colours, and the ever ominous shack that doubled as gift shop and entrance. Behind the counter was a lanky man who was a tad bit wild eyed in his welcome. As soon as I saw a mother and 2 kids signing up for a tour, I felt a bit better.
We ventured into the zoo with our tin full of peanuts and after a few initial shocks that zoos always give me I decided that I was glad we made the stop. At just under $30 entrance fee (two adults, a tin of peanuts for feeding plus taxes), you’ll never be closer to a lion or a bear or goat. Safe? The wire cages certainly looked solid. And the animals looked well fed so I doubt that they would have lunged at you in hunger. Not to mention the over abundance of signage warning you of missing fingers and the distance lynx pee can travel.
Humane? Probably not. The cages aren’t the Metro Zoo in Toronto, that’s for sure. I did feel a pang of sadness to see some of the big cats acting a bit squirrelly. And I wondered how these animals were stored in the winter. The land the zoo was on was vast and rolling and we only got glimpses of shacks and barns that held these poor creatures. The owner assured us that they were well kept and in some cases were sent out to stud at other zoos. Still, I wondered if they were “happy” in an animal sense.
Either way, you’ll not get any closer to an African lion or tiger in your lifetime (unless you go to Africa and get eaten by one). If I wanted to, I am pretty sure I could have touched that panting, docile male lion.
If you go, take some freezer-burnt meat and/or that wad of Canadian Tire money that’s just lying around. They gladly accept donations.