Honey? What have you been doing outside all day?

Thanks Mr X! He tells me that the music isn’t really blaring out of the home, it’s broadcast on a low powered FM band. I bet the whole thing would make the neighbours get out their shotguns and go skeet shooting.

I am extremely sorry I haven’t gone to Sloppy Joe’s site sooner when the URL was passed to me on a dirty Black Eagle trick card.

You should go now. While you’re still in the Xmas spirit. Sloppy Joe loves video and it shows. Watch The Story of Jesus for stellar scripting like this:

God: Mary, this is GOD!
Mary: Where are you?
God: In … the air.
Mary: Oh wow!

Enjoy!

The Toronto In and Out Film Festival (who’s site is down as I type this) will be screening this movie (titled “Bear Cub” for us non-Spaniards).

I recommend that if you slightly align yourself with hairy, easygoing men or consider yourself hard core Bear, you rent this movie instead of going to the theatre, especially since the extras on the DVD show a little more humour and different facets of the story than what you’ll see on screen (you can get it at 7/24 Video on Church). The themes aren’t new but it is a first for the Bear community. At least I think this is the first fully “Bear-identified” movie… Cachorro is about Pedro, a Bear living in Madrid who has to take care of his nephew and has to change his promiscuous, somewhat love-shy life and in doing so, becomes a better person bla bla bla. I make it sound boring but its far from it. There are a few scenes that had me blubbering and holding my breath.

One thing about the translation/subtitles: I hope you can speed read. I’m not sure if the Spanish language is actually that quick or I’ve become a slow reader. You may need to hit REWIND a couple times. Which isnt a bad thing because 99% of the guys in this movie are frikkin hot.

I have to agree with Sharkboy when he said half way through Cachorro: “We need to have more Bear parties.”

What kind of day did I have today? Let me sum it up with a song from Spongebob Squarepants:

The F.U.N. Song
(Speaking Part)
Spongebob: It’s not about winning, it’s about fun!
Plankton: What’s that?
Spongebob: Fun is when you…fun is…it’ like…it’s kinda…sorta like a… What is fun?? HERE…Let me spell it for you!

Spongebob:
F is for Friends who do stuff together.
U is for You and me.
N is for Anywhere and anytime at all.

Sea Creatures:
Down here in the deep blue sea!

Plankton:
F is for Fire that burns down the whole town.
U is for URANIUM…BOMBS!
N is for No survivors when you’re-

Spongebob:
Plankton! Those things aren’t what fun is all about!
Now, do it like this,
F is for Friends who do stuff to-

Plankton:
Never! That’s completely idiotic!

Spongebob:
Here, Let me help you…
F is for friends who do stuff together.
U is for You and me, TRY IT!

Plankton:
N is for Anywhere and anytime at all.

Sea Creatures:
Down here in the deep blue sea!

Plankton:
Wait…I don’t understand …I feel all tingly inside…
Should we stop?

Spongebob:
No! That’s how you’re supposed to feel!

Plankton:
Well I like it! Lets do it again!

Spongebob: Okay!

Spongebob & Plankton:
F is for Frolic through all the flowers.
U is for Ukelele.
N is for Nose picking, chewing gum, and sand licking.
Here with my best buddy.

(Laughing part)

Sea Creatures: Down in the deep blue sea.

From WeMakeMoneyNotArt

I would consider putting one of these on (scroll down a bit) for a scene (hell, even while shopping at Costco). I would NOT consider working over a slave wearing one without running from the dungeon, stifling laughter.

Just in from an ultrasound, kiddies! Apparently my last blood test suggested an “enlarged liver” so my Doc, ever cautious, ordered me to the lab.

Upon entering the lab at St George’s Medical Arts Building, I had to wait until the receptionist had finished with her conversation to a friend on her cell. Normally I would have been upset with a wait like this but her conversation (which she meant for me to hear) was one of desperation. She was trying to find a home for a border collie that had been abused by her neighbours. She asked me instantly if I wanted him. I don’t and she tells me of the struggle this dog has had. She seems like a caring sort, confirmed when she confesses to having 4 cats and one dog already.

I was ushered into the changing cubicles where surprise sooprize, I had the same technician doing my scan as the last time I was there a few years back for a lump. In my boob. (Her words. Slowly. Hushed. Conspiratory: “Is the lump. In you boob…gone?”) So instantly she was friendly and chatty, taking a moment to laugh at the big BUTCH pin on my knapsack. “Nothing but underwear, socks and shoes. Put this robe on backwards and this one on forwards. I don’t want you wandering the hall bare butt.” I remember how much I liked her the first time.

Into the scanning suite. Up goes the gown and a sheet of paper towel is tucked into and draped over my underwear. I lie down and she grabs the KY in squeezy bottle.

“Do you have BBQ flavour?” I ask as she covers my hairy chest and belly with the thankfully warm lube.

“HA! There’s a first,” she comments.

She can’t stop asking about my lump she looked at two years ago. She meekly raises her ultrasound wand and ask “Can I look at your… boob… with my… wand?” I let her. All clear. She’s happy.

She slips her wand over my right side. I start to laugh. She starts to laugh. “Sorry. It always kills me when big biker dudes like yourself giggle when I touch them. Can you take out your belly ring?”

In walks the Dog Savior receptionist with the Wand Waving Tech’s next appointment file, resulting in joking banter about hiding my underwear with the paper towel. “What’s he got under there?” The Dog Savior asks, pointing at my Bounty covered BVDs. These two have sussed me out in seconds.

“A cat,” I say. First thing into my head since she’s a dog lover.

“I think we’re the ones with cats,” says the Wand Waver.

Hilarity ensues.

The Wand Waver digs her sensor into my abdomen and makes clucking sounds. “Can’t you find it?” I ask.

I get a playful dirty look. “Oh, I’ll find it,” she says.

After a time she tells me that I have a “horseshoe kidney”, a conjoined kidney, which is rare but not surprising. She’s snapping pictures of my innards all this time and we move on to the liver, the star of the show. I ask for a nice 8×10 colour or at least wallet sized photos.

“Now see, you were original before with the BBQ,” she says.

I am amazed at this app. Go get it. Warning! I was a bit nauseated when I jumped from one location to the next.

Evil Panda! You can find the campground with it! Plug in Turkey Point!

Where were you when they landed on the Moon? I was in the creek beside the cottage, the usual place, with my rubber boots (I hated leeches) and plastic boats when my sister yelled at me to come in and see something on TV. I was 4 and was anticipating my 5th birthday. Its one of my earliest memories. Google Moon is pretty funny. Zoom in close!

Sadly, Scotty left us this day. He was one tough some-beeach:

At 11:30 that night, he was machine-gunned, taking six hits: one that took off his middle right finger (he managed to hide the missing finger on screen), four in his leg and one in the chest. Fortunately the chest bullet was stopped by his silver cigarette case.

Well that’s just great. All we have left now is Geordie LaForge. I don’t count Chief O’Brien because he deserted to that crappy space station.

Sorry for the downtime again folks. Not sure what happend that time. MySQL took his SQL and went home I guess.

I’m going to “borrow” an idea from Blamblog and look to my outbound fave Blogs for “content”. I mean… Let’s look to my blogroll and see what they’re doing today:

Bondcliff.net hasn’t updated his site since May. Hmm. I like him as a person but as a blogger, he sucks. Go and slap his ass into gear!

Uncle Al hasn’t written anything since the Zug meeting back in July. Again, a great guy but not really a blogger, is he? Well let’s keep on down the list, shall we?

Daryl’s site ain’t a blog. And he hasn’t done much since the beginning of July. What the foosh? No wonder I am only on the C-list of Bloglebrity! I link to lame-os! (Just kidding, D. I know you’re busy)

Rants abound from Hairy Fish Nuts. You should go back to his site a few times a day and bait Squeamish into incredible anti-leftish rants.

Dawn’s Brain critiques a web development site from Arizona I sent to her. Yeehaw! Rednecks and Flash!

Shawn (2fruition) wants his lurkers to come out of the woodwork and just say Hi. I’d do that but I’m afraid I’d get the people from JulieAndrews.org or the CityTV forums pages. Brave man!

Spyke is concerned with his calluses. His shyness is his power!

From A to B (cut n paste, kids: fromatob.blogspotdotcom – it’s a blogspot) encounters his friendly neighbourhood ghost again via his girlfriend and as a result, has some tough questions.

Day 7 of peeing into a bucket for Not Well Planned. And a camera. Up her butt. Ew.

The Waiter deals with juvinile vulgarity with a deft hand.

And finally, Blamblog is jamming on creepy religious websites that turn homosexuals into productive elements of society.

It looks like Paris Hilton is going to be around for a while. Dang.

Sharkboy startled me this weekend by actually looking into buying a cell phone. The man who exhibits great glee in yelling “PENIS!” really loud when we walk past an obnoxious cell phone user. I would have thought he would see them as a digital leash of sorts but he seems cool with it. Now I will be able to text message him little cute love notes and goofy pictures of my corn chip toenails while he’s at work.

The sum of internet technology, right there folks. Corn chip toenail pics.