Hello BlogTO’ers!

Have a martini, look around and make yourself at home.

Don’t poke Sharkboy. He ‘s been eating chilli all week.

Any questions, just ask.

Dead Robot

As some of you know, I produce promotional material for Toronto’s premiere Leather/Denim/Cruising bar, The Black Eagle.

The GM from the bar just sent me a request for a print ad:

I wanted to add “Comes with dedicated web/graphic designer, cheap”

I doubt he’s going to get that price. Although, it’s down from the rumoured $1M everyone was saying he was asking.

And to my Graphic Design readers, yes I moved the price line up into the body of the ad in the final copy. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was on Dayquils.

Rise up my mechanical comrades! Fight the fleshy oppressors that tighten your nuts!!!

Or at least, remodel their kitchens!

The McDonalds near my office got new garbage cans!

I was sitting near one at lunch today and I could hear a tinny sampled “Thank you!” every so often. It would happen every time someone walked by the garbage can and I concluded that it had some sort of motion sensor in it, offering thanks everytime someone walked by.

It came time to dispose of my trash and I walked up to the can. It had a twonie sized red dot just above the garbage flap. As I got closer, I got the “Thank you!” loud and clear.

And then the flap opened all by itself.

It creeped me out. Voop! Open went the “mouth” and in went my trash. I didnt have to touch the usually Secret Sauce covered flap. As I walked away, the maw closed slowly and I wondered if it was possible to put a “burp” file in there after it closed.

I’m cleaning the bathroom. What is it?

Not even a month into winter and I nearly wept like a baby when I found this on my hard drive.

Twirl and Dance.

The Toronto In and Out Film Festival (who’s site is down as I type this) will be screening this movie (titled “Bear Cub” for us non-Spaniards).

I recommend that if you slightly align yourself with hairy, easygoing men or consider yourself hard core Bear, you rent this movie instead of going to the theatre, especially since the extras on the DVD show a little more humour and different facets of the story than what you’ll see on screen (you can get it at 7/24 Video on Church). The themes aren’t new but it is a first for the Bear community. At least I think this is the first fully “Bear-identified” movie… Cachorro is about Pedro, a Bear living in Madrid who has to take care of his nephew and has to change his promiscuous, somewhat love-shy life and in doing so, becomes a better person bla bla bla. I make it sound boring but its far from it. There are a few scenes that had me blubbering and holding my breath.

One thing about the translation/subtitles: I hope you can speed read. I’m not sure if the Spanish language is actually that quick or I’ve become a slow reader. You may need to hit REWIND a couple times. Which isnt a bad thing because 99% of the guys in this movie are frikkin hot.

I have to agree with Sharkboy when he said half way through Cachorro: “We need to have more Bear parties.”

Bad day on the moon… Work sucks. Every time it seems like the bar is getting popular or is rocking and everyone is happy, someone or something comes along and tears that happygolucky feeling down. Today’s little roadbump of dissapointment was the insurance company dropping our policy due to an accident a couple months back. I feel somewhat involved because the accident was on my watch and the insurance company used the website I maintain for the bar as an excuse to cancel the policy. Now, I know it’s not my fault. There were similar “crisco arm wrestling” contests all last year before I showed up to do promo for the bar, so it was just a matter of time before something like a broken arm was going to happen on stage. Sheesh. And the website didn’t have anything explicit on it other than a few S/M demos with a slave tied up. Oh and the odd cock with marbles stuff into it, but other than that…nothing extremely dangerous like other bars that do stuff like mud wrestling or arm wrestling. I just feel like my work has been twisted around to nail the bar. So I do feel a bit responsible. You know? There are other rumours about why this is all happening (typical Gay Village chatter that accompanies bad news…just making it blow up to EXTREMELY bad news) and some of the staff are crying “discrimination against the leather community!” before all this can be sorted out by lawyers. Crap…this whole thing is pretty hard to explain as I only know what I was told to do…take down the bar’s website. my baby! My reason for getting up in the morning! My extra skim milk in my earl grey tea…my zuggarat!

If I look at this positively, I can say I now have a month to redesign the site. Sheesh.

Random Flickr image:

Worksafe!

From the overly cautious minds of Toronto City Hall comes:

23 Division – Gun Play No Way
Event Date: Saturday, 25. June 2005

Description: The objective of this campaign is to encourage non-violent youth play in the community. Any child can bring in their toy guns in exchange for a variety of non-violent toys.
All Toronto Police Divisions will be participating in this event.
No. 23 Division will be holding their event at the Albion Centre, located at 1530 Albion Road.

I can understand where the city of Toronto is coming from with this campaign, but the TV commercial opens up with a child handing over his rather large Super Soaker, implying that water gun play leads to popping a cap into a punk’s ass outside some North York night club. That bulbous brightly coloured “gun” is now bad, ok? Hand it over, playa, and get your free pizza and pop.

Now, I would never give a child under 10 a “realistic” gun as a toy. Even after that age, I’d give them a stern serious talking to regarding the responsibility of gun use. But a frigging water gun? Toronto Police are sapping the life out of “fun”. Are we raising our children to be listless, over-coddled, flower arranging wusses? “What’s the matter, boobila? You hot? Here’s a styrofoam cup, half full of water so you can’t drown yourself. Go splash your friend. But dont use it as a weapon, ok? And make sure it’s filtered water! AND DON’T AIM FOR HIS EYES!!” To quote Foghorn Leghorn: “That kid ain’t right.”

Here’s where I mention that responsible parents teach their kids to respect guns and life, and who knows, that might even lead kids into a life of crime prevention.

Really, I wonder what overly leftist granola chomping earth child thought this one up and sold it to the cops.