Honesty Makes You A Jerk

Toronto, You Stupid Dick

I’m about to enter the automated subway entrance near my work – tokens and magnetic passes only, please. I’m fishing around my pocket for a token while juggling my iPhone in the other hand when a guy who has just exited the cage doors of the station sees me and taps me on the shoulder. He takes out his pass and grunts a “Wanna go in free?” kind of grunt and makes a motion of swiping his own pass to let me in.

I mumble “no” and continue looking for my token.

He makes a bigger swiping motion with his pass and adds a “viola! You’re in!” flourish.

“No, I’m good,” I say finally finding my token.

I put in the box and push past him before he can count me as his accomplice in his gate scam. His hand shoots put to intercept my token with his pass.

I’m reminded of my refusal to enter Wellesley subay station a couple years back. The situation then was different, I was willing to pay then. This was just a blatant gate hop (like street gangs do in NYC movies).

I’m faster than him and my token falls before his card swipes. I push the gate and enter.

The TTC felon mutters “Asshole.”

Battle In Seattle

Celebs and Media

A “docu-drama” of the 1999 WTO protest, so Americanly named the Battle In Seattle, seems a bit appropriate as the current economic melt down ripples through everyone’s savings right now.

Go back with me to November 1999. Everyone is already crazy with Y2K, so when greedy capitalists decide to meet at a highly concentrated liberal city on the west coast, VW vans are fired up and everyone who has an opinion about poverty and money converged on Seattle. Social consciousness groups came together in a peaceful attempt to “stop” the convention which turned into one of the largest riots the US as seen since the 60s. Somewhere, someone got pissed off and the riot ignited like a Spike Lee movie ending. You might remember video of riot police casually coating a passive, sitting crowd of protesters with a fire extinguisher sized can of mace. Or countless images of rugby scrums with black armored cops hunched over cotton/hemp wearing youths. Whoever you side with, it was a violent few days.

What makes me curious about this movie is that it seems to be “Crash”-like in its structure: multiple viewpoints, perspectives and storylines converging to one point: downtown Seattle, just in front of the riot police. But in reading reviews from it’s TIFF showing, the movie hammers home it’s hatred for the WTO within the opening sequences, so it seems biased more towards the protesters. Another clue is that Woody Harrelson plays a cop. I think his acting default is set to “Villain” lately so he may be swinging a truncheon with abandon.

I’m also curious about the Massive Attack soundtrack. But that’s probably another blog post. Battle will be playing in limited release in Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver October 17th.

Art With Heart

Celebs and Media, Queer stuff, Toronto

Once a year Casey House asks artists to donate work to their annual Art With Heart auction to raise funds for their AIDS/HIV hospice here in town. Every year there’s been one piece that collectors will go ga ga over (last year it was a Ken Danby, donated shortly after his death) and this year is no exception: Who wouldn’t want a Attila Richard Lukacs hanging in their bathroom? And a steal at $750!

Two pieces in particular made my culture vulture turn a lumpy beak: Gum Blonde – a portrait of Madonna made entirely of chewed bubble gum and an abstract of lines and circles named Damn it Jim I’m a Doctor not a Magician. There are tons more at amazing prices all listed at artwithheart.ca

Auction:
The Carlu, 444 Yonge Street, 7th Floor
Tuesday, October 28th, 2008
7:00 p.m. (sharp)
Valet parking will be provided

Free Public Previews
Ritchies Auctioneers, 380 King Street East
Tuesday, October 21st to
Friday, October 24th, 2008 (11:00 a.m. – 5:30 p.m.)

Reception and Final Viewing:
5:30 – 7:00 p.m.

Tickets $125 per person
To order tickets, please contact the Casey House Foundation
T: 416.962.4040 ext 236
F: 416.962.5595
E: heart@caseyhouse.on.ca

Disclaimer: I volunteered my skills to concept, create and build the AwH website.

Did You Know…

Distractions

That snowflakes are Winter’s butterflies?

That every time a baby is born, so is a grandmother?

That this house may be a mess but it is blessed?

That you are welcome anytime as long as you’re nice?

That puppies lick tears faster than they can dry on a cheek?

That a sunbeam is the sky’s way of saying “Hello!”?

That the kitchen is where the family grows?

That a kitten is a heart’s love battery?

That my husband is always right… “right over there”?

That a pick nick still feels like home, but with less dishes?

That baking and a baby use the same ingredients: Love?

That I’m superfucking proud to be a wrinkled tart of a grandmother?

Okay that last one was wrong. I’m at work, recounting the shops we visited in Vermont and I suddenly realized a full week after, that I could write the stuff you see on faux-antique signs in Marshalls (HomeSense, to us Canadian folk).

So when you go into someone’s house and you see a sign that announces “This home is built with mortar, bricks and family” you read it here first.

Nooeet Blanch – Big Blue Turd Excites Us All

Toronto

Photos here.

My first NB was interesting. With all the crowds and revelry it actually felt like Toronto did something cohesive and collective as a city. And it was fun discovering a shop window showing a video or a sculpture instead of the usual goods and services. People were exposed to challenging pieces that, yes did make you scratch your head and wonder WFT? But the fact that the art got so many people out of their house and into the streets was a clear sign of it’s success. So what if you laughed at a big blue swirly turd hanging over your head in the middle of the Eaton Centre? You’re there, you’re experiencing it and it got you thinking, even if it was to laugh or get angry or wonder where your ScotiaBank savings are going. Art wins. Suck that, Stephen “I hate the arts” Harper.

One thing that really got me down though, was seeing Cabbagetown’s contribution. Sad. The section of street that was blocked off was utterly empty. I think amount of artists (I counted 6 “artists”) were dwarfed by the space that they had available. And considering how “funky” C-town is suppose to be, with it’s great diversity of neighbourhoods to the north and south. It really could have been a lot more. When we returned after being in the downtown core, there was one woman reading quietly from her literature (two people on bikes paying any sort of attention), a big screen video showing Breathless (original French version), a log tee pee and a bunch of drunk yuppies joking how they should burn the tee pee down. The local Liberal campaign office was busy, of course. But that’s hardly art these days.

One milestone: I’ve never stepped foot inside Maple Leaf Gardens before in my life and I broke my sports history hymen by visiting the dueling rambling milk blobs. It’s a shame that building isnt being used for anything these days. Damn you Lowblaws!

Next year, I’ll treat it like Pride: have a nice pre-Blance dinner party, plan an attack (avoid anything “Zombie” or “fame”) and wander around loosely after that.

UPDATE: I guess all the good stuff was in Zone B. Goes to show you where all the creative types live.

Video Blast Past – Chris Cunningham

Distractions

Chris Cunningham, uncredited robot creator from A.I., created some my-t-fine videos in the last 15 years.

First up, Windowlicker, a dead on take of MTV at the apex (twin) of it’s excess. Language and some imagery not safe for work.

Next up, All Is Full of Love. Milk. Robots. Bjork. ‘Nuff said.

Finally Africa Shox, Leftfield. Watch your fingers and toes. Note the hot guy doing the robot breakdancing.