Category Archives: Celebs and Media

Where Deadrobot brushes up against celebrities

God’s Rottweiler

Celebs and Media

I was just following orders! I swear I never fired a gun because of my fat sausage-like fingers! But I did blow up some tanks. Sure I was de-Nazified when I was caught by the Allies, because in Christ we are all forgiven. Unless you’re a homo or a woman priest.

(I love how Wikipedia insinuates that he was so eager to get the papal robes on he forgot to take off his black pope-votin’ sweater! You get the tiara, you get the sash and after all the excitement is done, you realize you didnt kiss the second runner up!)

Go to jail, learn your craft

Celebs and Media

Karla Homolka was turned down in a last minute ditch to get her sentence shortened, thanks to the guy pushing the buttons on the kismet machine. Her father was suprised that she tried and said, “At least she got her schoolin’!”

Checking the news, I found that Ms Homolka has been schooled in French, got her bachelor of arts degree in psychology and enrolled in postgraduate studies in criminology.

Meanwhile, the parole board said they denied her parole because her last application was different from her last.

From The Sun (I’m sorry. Sorry):

Homolka was “well informed” about the procedure and timing.

snip

A parole panel concluded on that occasion that Homolka was too high a risk to be released. The board cited the gravity of her crimes and an apparent personality disorder that could meet the threshold for diagnosis as psychopathic.

The panel noted that three prison diagnoses were in stark contrast to early prison evaluations, which assessed Homolka as a battered wife and a sufferer of post-traumatic stress syndrome.

So she’s been taught how to jimmy the system thanks to the system. Thankfully they caught her out. Hopefully they keep accurate records.

Hey! If Mr Jackson gets time, can we please give him unlimited internet access?

Brotherly Confessions

Celebs and Media

Something’s afoul of This Is Wonderland, kids. I swore I’d keep my mouth shut about it. More later.

After Michael related his TIW news, he told us that he got to meet Julie Andrews a few days back. The star of S.O.B. is in Toronto to direct a run of The Boyfriend for the Mirvishes and since my bro’s play The Innocent Eye Test is opening at the Royal Alex, he got to meet her. His first impression was that she had tons of “handlers” in her entourage. He said to her that he wanted an “entourage” to which she replied: “They’re very useful!”

His second impression was that she was sexy.

Sexy. Julie Andrews. She’s got to be pushing 70.

“Like…G-M.I.L.F kinda sexy?” I ask. The “G-M” standing for “grandma”. The rest you can google.

“Not really,” he squirms. His hand comes up and swirls in the air like he’s rubbing a crystal ball as he tries to explain himself. “Like this aura thing sexy.”

I am in awe again of my brother. Or confused.

Doppledangly!

Celebs and Media

The receptionist from my office calls me over to her desk and shows me a series of pictures she took last night from the front of CityTV. She says, “I thought you were being a snot because I was calling your name while I was trying to get pictures of Duran Duran!”

I have to admit that I did do a double take when I saw it but after close inspection, I’m not CityTV Security Guard Hot.

double

Tom Wilson, HOT

Celebs and Media

Tom!And not just in a physical sense, either. The man can paint. Stocky, blonde and a pop artist? SWOON!

I love his colours and content. Whimsy!

“Who the foosh is Tom Wilson?” I hear you say across the wires. He was the bully “Biff” from the movie Back to the Future. Be sure to check out the photos section. Scruffy bear goodness!

TV Mash Ups I’d Love to See

Celebs and Media

Dhamage!Dhamage and Greg
Starring C3P0 in love with his butch circuit soulmate, B9 (from Lost in Space). Dr Smith (also of Lost in Space) appears as B9’s overprotective mother/creator. Show’s Tag Line: One’s circuits are set to Kooky! The other is Logical! Both are persnickety! We’re doomed!

Sucks to Be Us
Starring Angel‘s David Boreanaz and Transylvania 6-5000‘s Jef Goldblum. College chums at first, David and Jef meet up in bustling NYC after years apart to rent an apartment. Typical dialogue: “I’m a vampire.” “What? That makes me the bad guy?”

crime show!Crime Show – BTAPITEWASS
This ain’t your typical CSI rip off (The letters stand for “Better Than A Poke In The Eye With A Sharp Stick”). See two disabled upholders of justice become one mean, lean crimefighting machine! Deanne Bray from Sue Thomas, FBEye and Blind Justice‘s Ron Eldard and Howard Jones star. Typical dialoge: “We’re going into a dangerous crack house. Hold my hand!” “What?” “Where are you?” “Wha?” “Did you steal my hair?”

Bradystar!Bradystar Galactica
A family are chased from their homeworld by menacing cyborgs of their own design. One by one, the kids are picked off. In the pilot episode, Starcindy is accused of cracking up her Viper while on patrol and the rest of the gang hold a concert to cover the costs. Musical guests star: Bea Arthur.

iSilence Day One

Celebs and Media, Tech, Toronto

I’ve been stewing over an article by Andrew Sullivan wrote a while back claiming that the iPod is the first horseman of the apocalypse.

Even without the white wires, you can tell who they are. They walk down the street in their own MP3 cocoon, bumping into others, deaf to small social cues, shutting out anyone not in their bubble.

snip

Get on a subway, and you’re surrounded by a bunch of Stepford commuters, all sealed off from each other, staring into mid-space as if anaesthetized by technology. Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t over-hear, don’t observe. Just tune in and tune out.

snip

Technology has given us finally a universe entirely for ourselves – where the serendipity of meeting a new stranger, or hearing a piece of music we would never choose for ourselves, or an opinion that might actually force us to change our mind about something are all effectively banished.

What gloom and doom! Goodness! Its like he’s never heard of the New York Times vs The Post and the fact that there are open minded people out there who read both. Or that people post things (usually with links) to their blogs that might challenge our thought processes, as Mr Sullivan did with his blog (it would seem the irony is lost here but I am sure its due to his iPod). I remember clearly back in the late 70s when Sony’s Walkman hit the market. The exact whining that the fabric of social interaction was going to unravel like a machine washed Prada sweater went on and on, even so far to see the walkman deemed illegal in certain situations. In my opinion, the acceptance of drugs and alcohol have more to do with the downfall of social interaction than a device that brings us music.

(I) realized I had left my iPod behind. Panic. But then something else. I noticed the rhthyms of others again, the sound of the airplane, the opinions of the cabby, the small social cues that had been obscured before. I noticed how others related to each other. And I felt just a little bit connected again. And a little more aware. Try it. There’s a world out there. And it has a soundtrack all its own.

I decided to “try it” and leave the iPod, Gameboy and books at home while travelling on public transit for seven days (the only time I actually use these to shut out the world). No distractions. Pure observations. I will record what I’ve heard (and seen if its of any importance to my spiritual growth) here daily. This may bore you and I hope it does. Apparently Mr Sullivan wants you to experience “life” in its yawning fullest.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Day 1!

Audio:
Woman on cellphone: “I know. I am on the streetcar right now. I am headed to the office. No. No. (pause) (heavy sigh) NO. Look. No.” (it continues in this vein. She’s getting looks from people around her with each “no”).

Asian couple behind me engaged in conversation using a dialect I have no hope in deciphering.

Couple of students too far away to actually hear what they’re saying but the explosion of laughter makes a couple people sitting near me turn their heads to look.

Visual:
Many people without iPods or CD players still block the doorway of the subway and even less move to allow people to get on or off.

More people reading papers than iPod/music players. Small percentage of that have both book/music player combo. Good for them for reading, I can hear Andrew say.

Opinion:
For the most part, not a lot of people were talking which has been pretty much the norm as long as I can remember and I’ve been taking transit in Toronto since the late 70s. As for the “serendipity of meeting someone”, there was not one single person who stuck out in my mind, not even a good looking bear I wanted to snog. I did notice that Newsweek put Martha’s head on a great body and slapped it up on their cover. But that came from sneaking a peek at a newspaper story. I guess I could have engaged the person beside me regarding this “technological wonder” but I would have been deemed a “streetcar freak” because you just don’t do that on public transit.

The Most Produced Play

Celebs and Media, Personal Bits

From today’s Globe and Mail:

The power of television being what it is, many more people probably know Michael Healey as an actor in CBC’s continuing legal series, This is Wonderland. But Michael is also the enormously successful author of The Drawer Boy, almost certainly the single most-produced Canadian play in history. Last year, the play was mounted 24 times in the United States alone. Not incidentally, it earned Healey gross royalties of $1.2-million. This year, it may do even better. A new production is about to open at the Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn, N.J., starring veteran actor John Mahoney (Frasier). That, of course, is across the river from Broadway, where the show is likely headed next. London’s West End is also interested.

I guess I could sue him for brain damage from all the times he stuffed me in a sleeping bag and shoved me down the stairs.

Wow. I was jazzed when Dan became a Doctor and John became a successful salesman and Michele rolled a couple monster homes while rising in the ranks at Foothills General. Now I’m like…super jazzed (I never claimed to be half the writer he is, ok?)! Congratulations Mike!

PS: Faitful readers… I think Dad and I will be on this episode of TiW. Keep a sharp eye out for my chin or hand.