So Im in Pharma Plus returning some of those nearly disposable battery operated toothbrush heads. See I bought a “Spin Brush Pro” and picked up just the “Spin Brush” regular or something. They were the wrong ones. So anyway. I ask the woman at the counter if I could return them but I had bought them a while back and inbetween that time I had gone to Calgary and stuff. The package was still sealed so she said “I dont think it will be a problem.”

…And then just stood there

So I look at her. She looks at me. Then glances down one of the isles.

A moment passes.

I make a face that says, “So?”

“Oh theyre in the basement,” she says, like Im suppose to know who ‘they’ are and why ‘theyre’ in the basement.

Another moment.

“Can…you call them?”

“Oh theres no phone in the basement,” she said all conspiratory-esque.

Another moment.

Actually the moment lasted longer than a standard moment. More like an English Imperial moment. All bloated and confused.

“Is there a snake pit on the way to the basement?” I ask.

Her look was one like a Fembot that had just 1) had its face knocked off…all embarassed and exposed; and 2) glazed over like a Fembot that looked like “Whoa…water…Im gonna explode…”

I made excuses and left.

Totally unrelated: I forgot something my sister said in Calgary as we were driving around with Dad and Donald and myself: “I wonder what kind of package you need for a woody like that?” My eyes bug out. She meant the tricked up PT Cruiser beside us. Oh straight people…

Hello. I’m not good at introductions. I generally do the cop out thing and say “Introduce yourselves” when I have to do 2 or more people standing about. So mumble under your breath your name and say Hi.

Okay so this is my first blog. I haven’t a real exciting life. I collect robots and I run another site called Dead Robot, which I should update much more often than I like. I’m a culture vulture and will use any excuse to watch tv or bad sci fi at any given moment. I think that’s all I’m gonna reveal right now…if you read on you will get the gist of who I am. If you click on the stuff at the side you will be dissapointed. I’ve hacked this site from my boss. Its mine now. I own it. Me. Not him. Mine.

Cartoon Brew tells me that Rock and Rule (aka DRATS, to you Canadians) will be out on DVD next week.

I remember one of my teachers at Sheridan College going all glassy-eyed when discussing the making of this movie. He told us how for the final scene where the demon rises up, the animators tried to film/rotoscope real blood spilling out over a sheet of glass with a camera underneath. Heady NFB-esque experimental stuff. Which didn’t work so well because they were really really high. Seems part of the money for art supplies was being funneled to midday cannibis breaks while Clive Smith would change things on the fly, making the final storyboard a piecemeal of bar napkin scribbles and effectively sending the writers to early graves. With this kind of kinetic filmmaking going on, it’s a wonder the movie is as coherent as it is.

Overheard at a rush screening:
“Jesus, guys… this makes no sense…”
“What doesn’t?”
“What?”
“What doesn’t make sense?”
“I see trails.”

My teacher (no I won’t name him) also talked about how cool it was to have Lou Reed, Iggy Pop and Deborah Harry (at that time still hanging around Toronto from Videodrome shoots?) in and out of the studio, trying hard to jumpstart their careers by recording songs for the movie. I still hum “My name is Mok. Thanks a lot.” every so often.

Pay attention to the lips of the lead character, Mok. Yes, they’re Mick’s. You’d have to be living under a box not to realize that, but they’re really the star of the movie. Never has a facial part been so lovingly animated. Disney always went after the eyes. The animators of Rock and Rule were so high, they never got off the lips.

“You guys mind if I throw some water on the rocks?”

Its 8am in the Y’s sauna. Dry sauna I might add. This guy is standing right in front of a sign that says “Please refrain from putting water on the rocks/elements.”

“Uh, there’s a sign behind you…” Sharkboy points out.

I start in with: “I use to work in a gym and we’d have to replace the elements monthly because of guys like–”

“Ok! Ok! No problem!” he capitulates. His buddy enters and they stand by the rocks as if they were guests at a 50’s cocktail party sans martinis and clothes (well I am sure there were nude cocktail parties back then… I digress). “No water,” he informs his friend. “Hey remember Robin? Big guy? This is going back 8 years or so, back when the sauna was like over here, remember? One time he and I were in here and we put so much water on the rocks that it started to spark and smoke was pouring out of it and there was a flame! The alarm didn’t go off though.”

So this guy makes a habit of breaking gym property? He continues:

“There was one time at a hotel in Whistler when 40 of us were at a conference and we were drinking and we started to throw our glasses into the fire and the liquor started smoking hard and we set off the alarm BEEP BEEP BEEP! And everyone left and I had to plead with the management not to kick us out.”

Good times, eh buddy? What the fuck? This guy was almost bragging about burning down a gym and a hotel. At least he had the decency to ask us if he could go ahead and burn our gym down first. Since Sharkboy and I are nude and really uncomfortable with this pyro bragging on his burnitalldown stories, we make our exit. I am sure that after we left he tossed water on the rocks. He had a soaked towel with him on the ready.

Yes I told the staff. No, they couldn’t do anything.

ROTC tried to open the event. Why were they performing in the beer garden where nobody could see them? It started to rain pretty hard and we stuck around as long as we could, which in the past, seems to always kick off FFN. Maybe next year they could start it later and give themselves more time to recoop from the dance the night before? Bitsie performed her act for all of 5 people.

Mike, dilligent volunteer when the rain started to come down. Thunder and lightning forced us back to Sharkboy’s and we returned after 3pm. As we were leaving, a homeless guy asked one of the security volunteers what was going on. “Folsom Fair North,” says the volunteer. “Falcon Fair?” asks the rubbie. “Yeah,” says the volunteer.

We came back after the rain stopped. Public displays of S&M. The booths were plentiful and the location was great. Much better than a parking lot.

Blair, a manager at Woody’s, possibly the nicest man on Church Street. Great idea of having live stage apart from the dance area. It seperated the hard core punk/s&m crowd from the tweaking circuit kids.

Kids On TV: the best thing about Folsom. I publically take back everything I ever said about them last year. They brought life to the party. Crackpuppy was a messy live band. We didn’t stick around for Lesbians on Ecstacy.

I’d give the day a B.

This is like standing outside the changerooms at the Gap! Choose the hefty Bear body type and don’t skimp on the facial hair!

(via Bacon N Ehs – baconandehs.blogspot.com – cut n paste kids, “blogspot” is on my banned list due to spam.)

…here this weekend! Bless Sharkboy and his insider tickets!

So long Bitches!

I just came in from lunch and my supervisor grabbed my chilly nipples through my t-shirt.

“AAWWK!” I hooted, trying to defend my chest like Sissy Spacek from Carrie. I cried, “If I did that to you, I’d be fired!”

“That’s the beauty of differences,” she said and ducked into her cube.

At home sick today, kids. Ugrh. I am sooo trendy I went out and got that cold everyone has.

Couple Halo related things for your attention:

Peter Jackson will produce the movie version of the game so you know it won’t suck…!

This Spartan Life has a short video blog update of “bodyguard auditions”. I guess they’re going to hire muscle for their next show so that the guests don’t get shot up.

All this Halo talk makes me want to re-read Larry Niven’s Ringworld first book. Or John Varley’s lesbian inspired Titan series.

Rise up my mechanical comrades! Fight the fleshy oppressors that tighten your nuts!!!

Or at least, remodel their kitchens!