Category Archives: Toronto

This wacky city I live in.

Dance Away the Night

Distractions, Toronto

dance-1Remember how Swing dance came back a few years back and everyone wanted to twirl a poodle skirted girl over their face/head/hips? A friend turned me on to this little “art-show-endurance-event” thing going on at the Harbourfront Centre: Dance Marathon

It’s just as the title suggests: a dance marathon but interspersed with theatrics. From the description:

A genuine endurance contest and staged performance event, hopeful amateurs can mix with bluemouth inc. members under the direction of floor judges and the merciless movement of the clock to shape participation theatre. For those of you with two left feet, simply sit back to enjoy the fancy footwork!

It sounds pretty apt for this neo-Depression era we seem to be entering. Everything old is new again, recycle and reuse!

I was always baffled when I saw those old newsreel films – exactly who is around at 4am to judge/oversee this kind of event? Well, now’s my chance, I guess. I wonder how they’re going to tie everything together at the end…?

But It’s “Lite”!

Toronto

Yesterday on our walk to the subway, SharkBoy and I walked by a middle aged business man dressed in a lovely camel hair coat, tailored suit and tie underneath, nice shoes and neatly coiffed hair…

…while taking whole scoops of mayo out of a jar with his fingers and cramming it in his noise hole.

The apocalypse is nigh!

Going Mad on the TTC

Toronto

The longest stretch of tunnel on the Yonge line is between Eglinton and Lawrence stations. That’s a fact.

If you stand right at the front of the car, right by the driver’s cabin, you are rarely pushed or shoved. I’ve been standing there for 4 years now when I go to work because it allows me to jigger with my iPhone in peace. That’s a fact.

It’s breezy there, so you can’t smell your fellow passengers. That’s a fact.

Three times in the past month, I’ve smelled smoke as soon as we’ve left Eglinton station. And it’s sustained until Lawrence station, where I get off. And not because someone new has moved near me and I can smell residual smoke, either. After Eglinton, the subway car usually empties out. I’ve been an avid non-smoker all my life and I notice even a small waft of smoke. It grosses me out. That’s a fact!

So with these facts, I am convinced that the driver is having a smoke break as he drives.

Testosterone, in rest and in motion

Distractions, Tech, Toronto

We’re having the February blahs two weeks early, folks. Both the weather, the job stress from December and the fact that Disney is 135 days away (That’s almost half a year to an overly dramatic teen ager or an infantile adult), has got me curmudgeonly. SharkBoy to the rescue! He produces two tickets to…

Monster Jam 2009, Toronto, Rogers Centre.

eradicator-mid-flightThe closest I’ve ever come to one of these displays of manlymanness was a tractor pull in Tillsonburg back when we were campers. Note the head of the bald daddy that wanders past in the video above-that was basically the flavour of the evening, including the hairy butt crack we could glimpse at every “jump up and shout” moment. Those moments made me feel like I was returning to church after years being away: it was the same awkwardness when everyone rose to their feet and pumped the air with their fists when a monster truck… did something… Oh? Am I to genuflect now? Yes it was “redneck”, if there is such a thing in Canada, yes they had a shameless display of post-911 patriotism, yes a car caught fire. The whole thing reminded me of where the Fleshfair scene from Spielberg’s A.I. was borne. The crowd was cheering for blood (motor oil?) at the mere rev of an engine. At one point the woman behind me was ready to run down to the field and rip the heart out of one of the drivers for doing so poorly. Poorly? For driving in circles and doing the odd jump? I use to do that when I borrowed Dad’s car as a teen.

casio-exilim-ex-s10-digital-camera-black-3I also got a new camera. We ditched the Canon A640 for something less powerful and more compact: the Casio Eilixim. SharkBoy’s new compact Canon made me envious of his portability and after some research I found a deal over on Kijiji for one, which is a whole other blog post about crap falling off a truck, but I digress. Anywhoo, this is a sweet little, thin camera, nearly half the width of SharkBoy’s Canon. I tried many pre-sets last night, including the “YouTube Opitimized video” setting. At a distance, the focus ain’t the greatest, you lose it when you zoom in or out. In fact, the digital zoom is quite grainy. But what I gave up in power, I certainly gained in compressed bulk and ease of use. I think I’ll get the hang of it fast.

The Best Pictures of 2008 From DR.com!

Distractions, Personal Bits, Toronto, Travel

Okay boring one out of the way first: Flickr tells me this was my most viewed picture for last year:
My Brother's Wallpaper

The best “Husband” Image for 2008 goes to “Beach Relaxio at Saugatuck”
recline

The Runner up best “Husband” picture is also the Best “Picture from Disneyland”:
Huh?

Best “Involved With Enviroment” image goes to “Huge Bollocks!”
That's Impressive

Next, the best “Brush With a Homemade Celebrity” Image goes to “Lack of Faith”!
I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing

For the “Most Creative Use of Clippers” award, we give it to “Hot DJ”
Hot DJ

The award for “No Colour Manipulation” image goes to “Husband on a Dock”!
No Saturation Required

Best “Well, DUH” image goes to “Crew’s Fire Saftey Plan”
Crews is on Fire

For the best “Faux Arty Farty” shot, we give you “Ball of Burn”!
Ball of Burn

But the “All Round Ultimate Best”, in my humble opinion, would have to be my depthy, curious picture of a hybrid cauliflower and a cat:
Fractal Food Curious Cat

Last Minute Shopping

Tech, Toronto

My co-worker turned me onto the TTC/police Ebay pages where you can find a bevvy of unclaimed lost and found items, like sunglasses, jewelery and Hindu god icons (?).

I love how the person challenged with setting up these auctions uses a disembodied mannequin hand to show relative sizes:

Waxy Hand from the depths

Waxy Hand from the depths

It’s also nice to see people refusing crap merchandise when they see it:

Uh, thanks. I'll pass

Uh, thanks. I'll pass