So Im in a holding pen somewhere out in a derelict Mississagua factory thats been converted into the set of Babylon, the nightclub where our lovely citizens of Queer as Folk bitch at each other on the dancefloor. And Im with 200 other club kids/musclemarys/heroin addicts/blithering idiots that make up the “background” as we are called (no longer “extras” weve been reduced even further). And Im listening to this loud mouthed, long haired homophobe spew third rate gay jokes. Im in shock. I am sure he was doing it to make sure nobody would hit on him. Fat chance. this guy wasnt as ugly as…oh…the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons but he was just as annoying and far from amusing. As I went from holding pen to wardrobe (they didnt like my sparkly Hustler shirt–sorry Paul) to make up (the hairdresser tsk tsk at the back of my neck and said he didnt have the time to do a whole head shave) I was amazed at the amount of homophobic comments were made. Crew would joke about not bending over. Make up girls joked about who looked gayer. And of course you had the nervous straight guys asserting their machismo with comments like “They should make a show called Queer Factor where you have to fish used condoms out of a tank with your teeth.” Perspective time: Im on a shitty third rate soap opera tv set and I expect sensitivity?

Well…yes. I do.

I hear all the time that gay people “respect” Showcase and QaF for putting out some gay culture, but it looks like its rotten from the inside, kids.

Some random thoughts:

• I was “dancing” beside a group of kids, two of which had braces. You gat paid extra money if you are kissing on screen so they should have paired those two up and had them lock metal.
• To get the “background” going, they would blare out the music and start us dancing with lots of energy, only to shut it off mid-beat so the actors could say their lines. If you know what a “audio black hole” is then you know how hard it was not to stop dancing a beat after the music ended. It was like going over a cliff every time.
• Saw my brother’s ex-girlfriend’s brother on set doing makeup for the main actors. Nice guy. We did the gunslinging Isaac-from-Love Boat kapow at each other across the room. Funny.
• The guy that wound up being with me (my date, I shall call him) for the whole shoot was straight. The floor director paired us up and put us on the stairs and the first thing out of his mouth was “My girlfriend’s roommate got me into this.” Gotcha buddy…I wont come onto you. Kudos to you when we were asked to move through the crowd past the camera for grabbing my shoulder and konga lining. I hope they keep that.
• Food sucked. Hot dogs and PandJ sammiches. I bet first season background got better.