Oh Mr Bradbury!
I may be late in the game for this video but I LOVE IT! (NSFW audio)
Apparently he approves!
Teletoon Isn’t Kinetic Enough
One of the last things I do at the end of the day is watch the more "adult" cartoons on Teletoon. Shows like Futurama, American Dad, Robot Chicken, etc. For my American readers, it's a Canadian version of Adult Swim but a lot more polite.
Last night, Teletoon sunk to a new low of television programming. All during their evening line up, they kept flashing sidebar ads and squeeze-in ads (where the screen shrinks 1/3rd it's size to reveal a static ad) for the new Kick Ass DVD and Will Ferrel's new movie, The Other Guys. I've become use to this kind of guerrilla marketing and let's face it, they're just cartoons. It makes the channel look like some cheap free periodical you find at the bottom of a muddy subway car, but it's the nature of advertising. Faster, stronger, bolder messages to cut through the noise.
Teletoon upped the ante last night and started to insert ads mid-sentence of a character's line. We're talking full cut-away, 5-10 second blip ad made to look like a newsflash. I don't have video but you can imagine it looked something like this:
American Dad's Steve: But I don't like-
CUT TO A CNN STYLE NEWS CRAWL: ATTENTION A SUPERHERO HAS BEEN SPOTTED! BUY THE NEW KICK ASS DVD IN STORES TODAY! DO IT!
American Dad's Steve: --Kelly Clarkson's music!
When I saw this I actually thought it was a control booth error, until they did it once for every show that night. Somewhere, during a mild conversation moment in whatever episode, they'd cut away to this blip ad and shoot right back like nothing happened.
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.
This kind of advertising is disturbing. Let alone rendering the viewer gun-shy, not knowing when they're going to be assaulted with an ad.
I say fuck you, Teletoon. Fuck you in
ATTENTION A SUPERHERO HAS BEEN SPOTTED! BUY THE NEW KICK ASS DVD IN STORES TODAY! DO IT!
your ugly face.
New Tron: Legacy Trailer
Yeah yeah yeah... uber cool, looks amazing, can't wait, bit more of the story revealed.
HOLY CRAP A POSTER FOR THE BLACK HOLE at 0:19 SECONDS IN!!!
Update: better cut of video replaced.
Big Hairy Dancing
I'm not a party bear, or eBear as they're known. I'd rather stay in and gorge myself on a video game or BluRay than spend $50 for a rave, $12 for water and ingest dubious chemicals to have fun.
I'm not one to go on about what's playing on my iPhone. Posting your track listings is like admitting you find Alan Alda "kinda cute" from his days on MASH. Yeah. Dated.
However, I am loving this podcast I've discovered (...through StevieB? Madhouse on Twitter? I don't recall): Electronic Music Bears. It does fill up my commute when I don't have Disney travel podcasts to listen to. I suggest if you have time, you download it, put it on and shake your ass.
Admittedly the music selection/mixing is a personal thing and you can wind up with stuff you may not care for. Example: the last entry was pretty forgettable, except for whatsiszname's face. This episode is exceptional (even if his picture is ...uh... not): DiscoPup mixed some pretty fun songs. This particular podcast is worth a listen if you only choose to download one!
Three Gay Caballeros
I'm waiting for my twin nieces to be born. Thoughts out to Morwyn.
Non sequitur video interlude.
The Baron Harkonnen Calls For Me
While in the shower this morning I noticed that I have three incredibly long eyebrow hairs growing erratically from my left brow. I immediately thought of two people:
My long dead grandfather on my mother's side. The man had unruly eyebrows. Crows would fly from his forehead when he shouted. Howler monkeys screaming from his brow would interrupt dinner. The greatest lumberjacks would lose their way (still to this day) inside the forest of hair above his eyes.
And
Thufir Hawat, Mentat to Paul Atredies. If you haven't read Dune, then you should know that Mentats are a sect of people who act as human computers, chemically enhanced so that their mental abilities are heightened. And, according to David Lynch, have big furry eyebrows, no doubt modeled after some scruffy film history professor from his past. While I don't claim to be chemically enhanced smart (or even smart, naturally), I do like the idea of having bushy brows and being thought of as a person who may dwell in a musty library and spout crazy thoughtful things at youths.
I also have one chest hair that SharkBoy hates, who I call Brenda. Da renamed her Sophie a while back. I love her regardless of her name. She peeks up out of the top of my shirts and greets the morning sun with a hairy smile. This just makes me look like a cash-for-gold reseller.
Re-Imaging Movies
Love 'em or hate 'em, the trend of remaking and "re-imaging" movies won't go away due to the shocking amount of money we the public lay down on a Saturday night date. You better get use to it.
With Tron: Legacy wrapping up, Joseph Kosinski is slated to start work on another Disney sci fi: The Black Hole which fills me with equal parts of glee (the visuals coming out of Tron are quite amazing) and dread (I hope to god they get a good writer and someone who knows how physics work in space). My only hope for the film is that they get an engineer/artist to recreate the beauty that was the Cygnus, the doomed ship that would venture into the black hole. Though the movie was crap, the design of the ship was the star. Probably one of the last greatest movie model props ever.
I'd like to see Mad Max re-imaged. I would shed no nostalgic tear if they did. When I saw it the first time as a kid on TV, I loved it, but I could tell that it was hacked to pieces for TV. And the version they showed was the one where Mel Gibson's voice was removed because he was swearing like a sailor is accent was deemed too strong. When I did see the original cut years later, I was impressed and still loved the core of it, but it was like discovering Heidi Montag while she was in mid-surgeries. But only as if I cared about Heidi in the first place. Okay that comparison doesn't work but you get it.
Speaking of Mel, another I'd love to see redone is Fahrenheit 451 (Filthymouth McNastytounge owns the rights for some weird reason). The original, while highly stylized in a groovy late 60s way, is a snoozefest. I'd love to see it redone as a commentary on digital copyright management. The big scene at the end when Montag (weird... coincidence?) discovers the colony of living books, I'd love to see him try to talk to one of the "books" and they reply with "I'm sorry. I'm only compatible with Amazon's Kindle. Would you like to purchase one now?" He falls to the ground and with a truck out sky shot, screams "Noooo!" to the heavens.
One other one that would be curious to see redone is Crusing. Actually... thinking about it, nothing would change. Never mind. Move on.
Imagine if they redid Airport? Yeah. Can't see it without some New York Times article about how it relates back to 9-11. Again, move on...
Do you think Christopher Lee would step into his sleek jumpsuit to revisit his role as Captain Ramses in Starship Invasions? I'd pay to see that. I remember this one as a kid and loved how everyone in the movie just wanted to commit suicide. Fun!
Here's a short list of movies I wouldn't lose sleep over (yet would go see if the trailer alone aroused nerd wood out of me) if they re-imaged or remade:
- Saturn 3
- A Boy and His Dog
- Battle Beyond The Stars
- Barbarella
- The Last Starfighter (seriously the CGI in it is "quaint" but needs freshening up)
- Sophie's Choice
Benny Hill VS An Atomic Blast
It is true. If you take any video, no matter how sad, violent or disturbing, triple time it's speed and add the Benny Hill theme music, it becomes hill-arious.
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