Juxtaposer
Posted by Dead Robot in iPhone on July 2nd, 2009
This app is pretty hillarious!! If you work with layers in Photoshop this app will be pretty easy for you. If not, the quick description is you have two photos, the base and the top. You resize, move and erase the top layer so it becomes a “mask” over the bottom layer. Presto! Everyone is a drag queen.
For $2.99 I wish there was a way to adjust the Hue/Saturation of the top layer so it merges better, or a X axis/Y axis resize so pointed faces fit better into oval heads, but it will supply me with some downtime amusements for a while…
Dear Dalton – Another Letter to the Premier
Posted by Dead Robot in Celebs and Media, Toronto, You Stupid Dick on July 1st, 2009
Hi Dalton,
I wrote to you a while back about my father’s unacceptable experience in a downtown emergency ward. Thanks for immediately putting me on a mailing list of back-patting propaganda and the nice form letter response. He’s doing fine now if you’re wondering, after a few months being on a PICC Line while he had to wait to see the surgeon.
But that’s not why I’m writing.
This time it’s to ask you to do something about Toronto. Your major money maker is broken and you have the power to fix it. I know you said you’d only step in and legislate the union back to work is if health issues arose due to the mounting garbage. I guess week-long standing, rain soaked garbage isn’t ever a health issue. Good thing they’re spraying the dump parks with deodorizer and spreading out rat traps! That should buy the city (and you) some time.
I know you’re busy with GM and the economy and stuff, but an effective manager doesn’t wait for problems to arise, he confronts them before they become major issues. He provides solutions with wisdom and fairness.
Dalton, I’ll make it easy for you. You don’t even have to legislate them back to work to save my vote for you (long since lost, by the way) – no, all you have to do is get a fair mediator into the negotiation room and show that you care for the people who keep the money coming in for eHealth and who put you into power. Do it now because Torontonians are really tired of this pissing match and need a white knight.
Eternally an Ontarian, But Not Liking The Smell
Dead Robot
Shave The Bear
Posted by Dead Robot in Celebs and Media on June 30th, 2009
Church Street Diner Sorta Update
Posted by Dead Robot in Toronto on June 30th, 2009
During Pride, while we were walking the street, I spied the two owners of Church Street Diner, Richard and Alfredo, standing out front of their “still closed for renovations” cafe with a table and cooler. Nothing showy, no signs, just selling water or Popsicles.
I immediately dug into my pocket and sauntered up for a frozen ice. I asked how they’ve been doing.
“Great!” Richard says, “We appreciate what you said on your blog.”
“So what happened? What is happening to the place?” I ask.
I get an eye rolling response that makes me immediately feel bad for asking. But not so bad I can’t recount it here. “Things… are happening. We can’t comment.”
“Gotcha.”
I really hope these guys can get the Diner going again soon. Good luck fellas!
Pride 2009 – Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop Drinking
Posted by Dead Robot in Celebs and Media, Queer stuff, Toronto on June 29th, 2009
Toss that over here, Hot Stuff!
SharkBoy and I relied on the zen approach to Pride celebrations: walk, wander, observe and listen to our bodies. If we got a text to meet up somewhere we did. If we wanted to sit on the wall outside the 519 Community Centre and just watch the flow of people, we did just that. Couple of observations:
Public drunkenness skeevs me. A lot. Especially when the drunks have a heightened sense of “celebration” than myself. And look kind of “just off the subway” suburban. Mostly the drunk people were (I assume) were straight Ryerson students flowing up from the university. Not sure if Pride is in talks with Rye security…?
When you’re so drunk you can’t walk, transporting a 6-er of glass beer bottles is probably not a great idea. A poor chap fell face first onto the sidewalk with a beer-popping SPLAT, tried to get up and slammed face first into The Ladybug Flower shop’s window, which miraculously stayed intact. It was comical and frightening at the same time. Being right across from the Volunteer centre (the beer store parking lot) you’d think the security would be more attuned to open, public drinking.
Drink unitl you get an Arty Shot!
We got to Church and Bloor at about 11:45am for the 2pm parade. Our group of 8 all got a spot on the fence. Of course it got busy and the 8 of us compressed to 5 of us on the fence, 3 taller ones in behind as the place filled up. Remember, it’s raining and miserable, but we stuck it out for all that time. Now, at ten minutes before the parade starts we had to fend off three different sets of people who thought it was ok to just show up and shove to the front of the barricade. At one point I very uncharacteristically told a woman to chew my dirty ass because I had been waiting for almost three hours and there was no way she was going to get up to the front just by showing up as the parade started. This has happened to me at other events too, like The Santa Claus Parade and St Patricks as well as past Prides.
THIS! IS! SEXY!
And My Pride Miracle, you ask? Lean in close. Here it is:
The parade is underway. We’re standing right up against the barracade at Church and Bloor where the vehicles and walking divisions merge and go on their merry way, parade-ready. Various floats are tossing freebies into the crowd with gay abandon, mostly condoms and cheap plastic beads (which the people behind me thought was mana from the gods for some reason and kept slamming into my backside) so being a the “beginning” of the parade they were tossing a lot.
As the mayor’s float went by, there was the usual hootering and hollerin’ but I took it upon myself to get into the original spirit of Pride and get political:
“STOP THE STRIKE! STOP THE STRIKE NOW!” I shout this a few times in the general direction of the City of Toronto float, much to the horror of SharkBoy. You could feel him shrink.
Suddenly I make eye contact with Mayor David Miller just as he’s tossing beads into the crowd. I breathe in and shout at the top of my lungs while locking eyes: “STOP THE STRIKE!!!!”
He reels back and like some star Blue Jays pitcher, and beans me with a set of purple beads. Bong! Right in my forehead. I shit you not.
“Thanks!!!” I yell back with utter honesty and a smile!
Celebrity negates .
Pre Pride Street
Posted by Dead Robot in Queer stuff, Toronto on June 28th, 2009
More Videos and stuff coming. Here’s a teaser:
The night before Pride and all through the street, not a creature could beat him
In his pre-Pride gyrations.
The Lesbians had had
Their march of solidarity
Their placards were down
The drunk straight kids
Prevailing.
Brilliant Caramilk Ad
Posted by Dead Robot in Celebs and Media, Toronto on June 26th, 2009
At Yonge and College subway (south east exit) there’s a brilliant interactive ad for Caramilk chocolate bars. The poster has 6 headphone jacks to hear different explanations of how the caramilk is put into the bars (a long standing ad campaing here in Canada that teases the public with the “secret” as to how it’s done). You can see in the bad iPhone pic that I’ve jacked into the “Scientists explanation” cleverly located right over his mouth. Upon jacking in, an audio file plays (a bit too loudly and slightly fast – adding to the giggle factor) of different cultural explanations/theories.
The Cockney explanation was by far the funniest with lots of rhyming and slang. The Zulu tribesman was a tad bit “racial worrisome” (was that really Zulu he was speaking?). The Whale song was relaxing…
I admit that I did feel a bit of a dork standing there plugging my earbuds into each outlet. Especially in a busy subway tunnel with people passing, gawking, but it was funny and because I stopped and interacted with the ad, it won me over. Still, this ad is better suited for bus shelters.
Update: Gizmodo reports of an interactive ad that borders on black humour: Domestic abuse poster changes when you’re NOT looking
The Death of Blogging
Posted by Dead Robot in Bloggers, Celebs and Media on June 26th, 2009
With the passing of Michael Jackson I became painfully aware that the whole blog thing was dead:
Number of people who mentioned the King of Pop’s passing from my 52 followers: 50
Number of mentions of the one gloved icon’s demise from my blogroll: 2
The numbers are telling. The party is over.
Within an our of MJ’s death TMZ was reporting (via their blog) that the internet was “maxed out” with Tweets and Facebook updates. I guess TMZ had nothing else to report at that moment.
I’m not saying that blogs will end as of today, but it’s pretty obvious the whole online meme of confessing your soul out to the universe has moved on to faster pastures. The personal blog is on the downturn. Which, to me, is a bit sad. Not that I’m bashing Twitter or Facebook, but I do see these mediums as being limited and distracting when getting your full feelings and thoughts out.
Much like a car horn: Twitter is great to get your attention. Annoying when the hand stays on the button.
You have to remember I’ve lived through Geocities and Webrings. I’ve seen this stuff come and go in waves.
Me? When it comes to blogging I’m going to be like that last guy at the party, scraping out the room temperature bean dip with shards of crackers.
Disney Cheese Cake
Posted by Dead Robot in General on June 24th, 2009
We’re 4 days into the holiday and we’re lazily looking at Animal Kindom Lodge – a massive “hut” resort with wild animals running wild in the hotel’s inner courtyard. SharkBoy and SisterInLawSharkBoy are in the giftshop (again) and I’m waiting on a massive leather couch in the lobby with NephewInLawSharkBoy.
I spy from across the room one of Disney’s PhotoPass people taking extremely set up pictures of couples and scanning their retrieval cards for purchase later, online. I get an idea. I tell the Nephew to sit tight, wait for SharkBoy and Sis-In-Law.
I walk up to the photographer. “Is this a FastPass picture?” I ask, completely confusing the reserved ride system with the online photo purchasing system.
“Uh… it’s PhotoPass…?”
“Right! Can I get a picture?”
“By yourself?”
“Yes.” I make a face that says I’m all alone – Waaa Waaaa Waaaaaah! I pose. He shrugs. He takes the shot.
I know that the family will come home at the end of the holiday and punch in the number to the PhotoPass account and ooo and aaa as they click through the pictures we had professionally taken in all the parks and then come across…
Strike One…
Posted by Dead Robot in Toronto, You Stupid Dick on June 24th, 2009
I knew SharkBoy was going to get yelled at, maybe even have some garbage tossed at him. I never thought he’d have some disgruntal cop badger him and a co-striker while blatantly showing off his gun. I thought they liked their unions too?
Seriously, we don’t need the “strike allowance” that much.
Illustrated Blog Posts: SharkBoy’s “Spare One Square”
Posted by Dead Robot in Distractions on June 24th, 2009
Our Characters (Left to Right): SharkBoy as the White Knight, Shop Clerk as the self serving …er… clerk, Dead Robot as the victim.
A typical downtown variety store. The Shop Clerk is staring off into space. Enter SharkBoy:
Enter Dead Robot…
Dino Hey!
Posted by Dead Robot in Distractions on June 23rd, 2009
I watch the Attack of the Show’s “Around the Net” (AtN! AtN!) podcast while I do cardio. This morning, I inexplicably farted trying not to laugh when I saw this:
Dinner Guests
Posted by Dead Robot in Celebs and Media, Personal Bits, Toronto on June 22nd, 2009
Rev Big Daddy Bear and Fermat
There was something I was suppose to do today…
I woke to the news that SharkBoy will be taking a few forced days off in the form of a civil servant strike. Know that the media really isn’t displaying the union’s demands in full light (it’s easier to just say “it’s about benefits” and move onto displaying the public’s indignation) and that while we both don’t support the strike 100% (who does?) I can understand why they’re defensive towards these “sick days”.
Was I suppose to call someone?
I went to the gym and on the walk there I noticed evidence that the unions had gone ahead and covered up the garbage cans with cling wrap. Oh that will work! My my my! Considering how garbage was piled chest height in public parks during the last time, this deterrent will certainly keep people from dumping their trash. No, the cling wrap won’t be torn open and heaped higher than the Will.I.Am/Perez drama. Ba-zing!
Was I suppose to send someone something?
After, we sped through laundry and got our asses down to City Hall so that SharkBoy could register for picket line duty. Strikers were offered locations to walk the line, as it were. We questioned where Cherry and Commissioner Streets were and thankfully he didn’t choose that location because that’s where the most “action” is going on – yelling, arguing, car-bumping of strike line walkers. No, he chose to walk in front of the building he loves the most in the city: City Hall itself. It was funny to see on the news that at 8am this morning, the strike walk circle was as wide as an Olympic-sized swimming pool and by the time we got there, the circle had tightened up to something the size of the crazy-man prisoner circle from Midnight Express. SharkBoy has his iPhone and sunblock all ready for tomorrow – 4 shifts of 4 hours for a minuscule fraction of his wages. Here comes rent!
I should check my emails…
When we got back from a leisurely walk from City Hall, we sat down to dinner and finished up The Mist on the PVR. Something was nagging me though. Something electronic… I checked my email and found a note from the visiting fermat and his husband, Rev Big Daddy Bear. We were suppose to have dinner… CRAP!!
Aren’t I the gracious host! They tell me they’re coming to town and I suggest dinner – then forget like an Alzheimer’s patient off his meds. I’ve been promising myself to make new friends this year and things like this just blew my new years resolution out of the water. I call and tried not to sound 1 inch tall and make arrangements for a fast dinner and ice cream.
Gifts from Afar
We eventually met up and had dinner. I have to say that it’s an utter shame that these two don’t live in town, I could see the four of us hanging out a lot more. “fermat” is from the east coast and brings a unassuming warmth and friendliness that was fun to experience. Example: he’s been a long time reader (he quoted a blog post from last year) and brought me a gift bag of robots and a shark for SharkBoy. His husband was just as nice and interesting and had the sexiest laugh lines around his eyes. You could tell he smiled a lot. It was over way too fast. My fault for forgetting the original meeting time. I’m sorry guys!
I hope that we can meet up again and if we ever get out there, consider us on your doorstep!
Pride Father’s Day
Posted by Dead Robot in Personal Bits, Queer stuff, Toronto on June 19th, 2009
As a salute to Pride Week starting up and Father’s Day this weekend, I’m digging up my speech to nominate my father to be the Grand Marshal for Pride 2007 for all you new readers. Long time readers can snort and say “slow news day” if you like.
As you know the room was stacked in Michelle DuBarry’s favour and votes cast for her resembled an Iranian landslide. It was a bit disheartening to find out it was a popularity vote and not a decision by committee. I think if my dad did drag he might have had a chance.
Right Next To My iSlots App
Posted by Dead Robot in iPhone on June 18th, 2009
(Via a ReTweet from Mathew Ingram via @harrisj)
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