Twitter’d
Yesterday I got mildly bewildered after reading about how (yet again) Rob Ford managed to be completely clueless about the social/political leanings of a room full of people he was going to debate in. I guess his crack team of minders forgot to tell him he was going into a room full of leftie-liberals.
I was tired of the whole political posturing at the beginning of this mayoral race and after reading that I was exhausted. None of these candidates spark anything but contempt from me. Some more than others, and I'm afraid that's how I'm going to vote.
What is getting me down more is the rabble that pounce on any mayoral news story that has it's comments turned on, ready to vilify anyone who has not forgotten that they had a joint on them when stopped by the cops in Florida.
In my ire, I twittered this:
So very tired of this #voteTO. Especially the "mad as hell" idiots who will blindly lead this city into another Lastman embarassment
Within seconds I was replied to by someone claiming to be a "lawyer" from Vaughn saying sarcastically "yeah how dare the suburban crowd be upset with how Toronto is run..." etc. He fired off a couple blathering tweets about "downtown sensibilities" and I thought best if I block him, so I can't quote him directly. His past tweets concerned themselves with how Michele Obama is ruining the US - you get the drift - raving neo-con teabagger. My next tweet:
Irony, thy name is hashtag
Yeah I know I was asking for it in a public forum, the irony isn't lost on me, but the speed and venom that this person appeared out of the woodwork convinces me that this election won't be won by intelligence or by rational decision making. The pitchforks are out, the people are mad as hell and they're at the gates.
Culture Jamming Ass Hats
The cat is repeatedly jumping from the kitchen table. It's like that scene in the Matrix where the black cat repeatedly walks past, but no Keanu saying "Whoa. That's weird."
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
I wake as SharkBoy jumps from the bed and peeks out the blinds. There are people on the roof next to our building. SharkBoy can see people doing something to the billboard that fronts onto the street, on the roof next to ours.
At 3am, your mind races. We've repeatedly caught, chased and hid from various people who have gained easy access to this roof beside us. One night, kids use the roof to try to break into the apartment while SharkBoy was home. Another time, kids tried to use it for a video shoot around 2am. Many times we've yelled at kids who go there to drink. The year I moved into the building, someone was pistol-whipped in the back and kidnapped so you can understand that if there is anyone up on the roof, we cautiously decide whether or not to confront, call cops or ignore. If the city didn't demand that two fire escapes be fully accessible at all times, I would have electrified and chained these access points long ago. Unfortunately, I can't kill trespassers. The bible and the city say no.
THUNK!
They're done. The four of them leave the roof. They're carrying hockey sticks, poles and backpacks and my mind says, "Best not to confront them." as they leave. They meet round the front of the apartment and hug and take pictures of their work. I begin to suspect their some sort of guerrilla artists group, fucking up some billboards for the mass G20 court date that is happening today.
This morning, Torontoist reports that this was a city wide "raid" on public advertising. Oh you OCAD kiddies! You hipster culture jammers! You fucking Queen Street Rejects. Hey here's a thought, if you come around our house again, I'll beat you senseless with a bat and then call the cops. And I'll take pictures and I'll call it art: "Bloody Art Student"
Underlying Politics: Kristyn Wong-Tam
Last weekend, while wandering Pride, I met three people who really wanted to talk AT me. You guessed it: hopeful politicians all vying for my vote.
Today: Kristyn Wong-Tam
As we push through the throngs of people during the Pride celebrations on Church Street, a smiley faced woman waves a pamphlet in my over-stimulated field of view. I look down and it has a familiar face on it. Kristyn!
About ten years ago I was painting as a hobby. Massive canvases of single panel outtakes from comics. One day, on a whim, I asked the manager, Kristyn, of Timothy's at Church and Alexander (the outlet affectionately known as "The Bear Store") if they had space to hang and sell. She had me showing work within a month. I went on to show stuff there 3 times over the years and would sell out every time (except for the AstroBoy vs Pinocchio - I still have that one).
I told the woman that I knew Kristyn and was happy she was doing something different. The volunteer called Kristyn over and I'm the recipient of warm hugs and huge smiles. She remembered my paintings and complimented me on how successful each showing was. High praise coming from someone who has managed a couple galleries. I turned the love-fest around and said if I wasn't working two jobs, I would seriously be volunteering for her campaign.
I'm not an overly political person; I'm such a fence sitter I have splinters in my private areas. But with Kristyn I have a good feeling that she would actually work for you. She has that kind of manner that suggests that she's connected to you when you speak to her, a quality the other two politicians (Joel Dick and George Smitherman) I had met earlier were completely devoid of. She's well spoken and knows her neighbourhood, having grown up in Regent Park and also sits on the Church/Wellesley BIA board.
Her campaign slogan should be a simple: "Connected".
Follow Kristyn on Twitter
If you are in her riding, I urge you to vote for her. I wish I lived in it so I could but I'm bloody 3 blocks too far east and have to deal with a lazy manatee of a councilor who thinks it's ok for fireworks to be shot off within old historic Cabbagetown.
Underlying Politics: Joel Dick
Last weekend, while wandering Pride, I met three people who really wanted to talk AT me. You guessed it: hopeful politicians all vying for my vote.
Today: Joel Dick
As Da, SharkBoy and I are walking south on Church Street, amongst the partiers and the politicos, out of the crowd comes a pair of fast talkers - b-lining to us with smiles. Within seconds we're covered in "I LOVE DICK" stickers. With what was this in regard to?
"I'm running for city council," says the bright young man with wide smile. And he places a sticker on my father's chest. "Here. Let me give you some Dick."
"Oh? I like Dick!" Da says.
"Yes. Yes you do." I say.
"There seems to be plenty of Dick." SharkBoy says, pointing at the roll of stickers.
"There's enough Dick to go around." I note.
"Everyone seems to want Dick today."
"My Dick is really sticky!" I say tugging at the sticker.
"I hope this Dick comes off," SharkBoy says with concern.
"How could you not want Dick on you?" My father asks incredulously.
"Oh I never say no to Dick, I just don't want Dick stains."
"True. You would be Dicked, then." SharkBoy nods in agreement.*
As we walked away from Joel, I realized we didn't even ask which riding he was running for, or get a sense of his platform. I am sure "riding" and "dick" would had spurred on more heelariouse repartee. But with a name like Joel and campaigning in a crowd of gay men, you just have to go with it.
*Okay the last few I just made up, I couldn't resist. But you get the gist.
Underlying Politics: George Smitherman
Last weekend, while wandering Pride, I met three people who really wanted to talk AT me. You guessed it: hopeful politicians all vying for my vote.
Today: George Smitherman!
We (my father, SharkBoy and I) encountered George Smitherman and his crew right by Church and Wellesley, just in front of the old location of his photo processing store (long gone, replaced by a cell phone outlet). I've been wanting to actually meet him because of all the notoriety he's garnished over the years, especially the diaper fiasco, where he suggested that he would wear an adult diaper to show Ontarians that they were super absorbent and your elderly parents won't have any trouble sitting in their wastes while they wait for an overworked nurse to come around to change them. Then there was the whole eHealth thing, which is kind of troubling. However, he left the ministry before this all came out. And the concept of government waste was pretty much in motion before he started - "Abuse of power comes as no surprise" as Jenny Holzer would say. The most interesting thing I've read about him has been from TorontoLife mag where Gerald Hannon wrote a great article about Stormin' George. Anyway, when we shook his hand (firm, committed) SharkBoy said "You may be my new boss!" in jest.
He ran with that. In full on politician mode.
We were treated to 15 minutes of how George would seriously cut back in clerical wastes. I glazed over within 3 minutes, distracted by the half naked bodies. Seriously, there are times you discuss business and there are times you show you're human and have a personality. Standing in 30C, talking over pounding disco music isn't really one of these times to go "business". What George was saying was making SharkBoy a bit nervous because when you mention "election" and "cut backs" it reminds him of his last government position when he was laid off from a sweet job right after a provincial election. It was surprising for him to hear it coming from the candidate he was behind, I guess, and he listened politely. I was far too zoned out by this point - the details involving reorganizing yet keeping people's livelyhood but the realities are of course that there will be resizing of some sort etc etc.
At one point, a minder interrupted George mid-stream, whispering of someone's alarming actions. George replied to the handler without restraint "He should not have done that..." pause "Ok... ok..." Focus. Back to us. All without losing his train of thought. Kudos.
SharkBoy left our encounter with George with a feeling of doom. I left with a feeling of disappointment. The guy I wanted to back was capable of sucking the life out of Pride. But he will most likely get my vote, due to the vapid choice I'm left beyond him.
Pride 2010
Just some video of the Pride Run and some special dancers throughout the weekend.
Pride Tips for Out of Towners: 2010 Edition
Holy crap! With all that was going on in my life the last couple weeks I utterly forgot to create my superhelpful Pride tips! I apologize, incoming tourists, for this oversight.
Here's my last couple entries:
Pride Tips 2008
Pride Tips 2009
Both still stand, with a couple interesting edits:
Dining
PLEASE. However attractive the patio at O'Grady's looks during the summer fun sun, scope out their food portions and how frantic their staff are. I can assure you that at least one of those points will be a disappointment. This goes for pretty much all restaurants on Church. Take a moment and look at the menu and the actual portions they're placing in front of people before eating on Church Street. If you must, go to The Church Street Diner. These boys are back and have their head screwed on right.
The Parade
There are Three Parades now, in the spirit of inclusion and togetherness: The Trans March, the Dyke March and the Pride Parade. Next year we will have enough time during Pride week to have the "I can hold the iPhone 4 without losing bars" parade as well as the "Do these shoes make me look bisexual?" parade.
Hooking Up
If you're trying to pick up a local, don't mention the G20. We are still sore from it (see below). This year I would suggest combing your hair to look like a wet badger fell on your scalp from a great height, with a slight swirl, will get you laid. It's working for Justin Beeper or whatever his name is. That or wearing jeans that are so skinny in the leg, yet make your ass look like you've dropped the remnants of a spicy burrito in the backside. Tsk. Kids today.
Post-G20 Politicalness
You might have heard that Pride was pulled back from the precipice of disaster by allowing a certain group to keep nasty words in their name while the streets of our fair city were overrun with thugs in black hoodies kicking the shit out of Starbucks on Yonge Street. Know that Torontonians have had their damn fill of political posturing and just want to have fun. If you have an axe to grind, make sure you find like minded people to grind it into.
That's about it! I wish all your Pride miracles come true!
A Fine Weekend How-do-you-do
Ignore this post. Well read it anyway and get a sense that I was pretty lulled by the media that yes bad things happened, but they happened to the right people. After reading about how Blair lied about the 5 metre zone outside the fence (and apparently all over Toronto in some cops' minds), I think both anarchists and police are douchebags.
You might have heard that there was a big summit in town with everyone getting angry and pissed off for some reason or another. If you were in Toronto this weekend you were either a cop trying to maintain the peace with extra super-cop powers added on, or you were an anarchist using Black Bloc tactics to get your message across, whatever that stupid message may be (well done boys and girls!) or you were like the majority of us, curious, on-looking, wondering how much our liberties were being eroded, worried the protesters are right but at the same time, thankful there are draconian dragoons whisking nere-do-wells behind the black wall of Kevlar amour, quickly subduing the rabble and carting them away.
Because this is the internet, and because I NEED TO EXPRESS MY OPINION, here's my thoughts on the weekend:
I think the cops did an excellent job, right up to Sunday night. They might have been rough on some people, and they might have clubbed innocent journalists, but considering their job was to keep calm, follow orders and intimidate the wrong-doers, I think they did that exceptional job, judging by all I've read/seen on TV. I do say "up to Sunday night" where things turned bizarre. I'm referring to the corralling of a couple hundred people at the corner of Queen and Spadina, holding them tight for hours in the pouring rain and then releasing most of them without explanation. Police later said they suspected anarchists being amongst the crowd. From many sources who were inside the corral, including a Globe and Mail journalist, it seems 90% of the crowd were people just observing, innocent only for watching a small group of protesters doing their thing.
Reading various reports from journalists and regular people alike (and attempting to remove the hyperbole) I still get the sense that the police (or the people who instructed the riot cops) over-reacted. Extra, super new rights-stripping law in place or not, I got the sense that someone jumped the gun or fell asleep at the wheel in this particular police action. The intimidation got out of hand, which led to the cops waiting it out and releasing the crowd (after some purely Kafkaesque dialogue/actions).
After all is said and done, the best quote from the whole shebang comes from Christopher Bird and Christopher Drost, reporters for Torontoist.com who were on the ground during the Saturday Queen Street cop car buringin (emphasis mine):
In the exterior lobby of the Queen and John Starbucks, a group of protesters formed a human shield covering one of their own, who was apparently getting bandaged up after being struck in the head by cops (according to the group). The protesters got loud when an Italian reporter tried to take shots of the man, demanding their privacy. "You don't have a legal right to privacy," I pointed out, and the protesters rightly responded that "this isn't about legal rights, it's about being a human being." And you know, that's totally fair. What I should have said: "If you complain about being made the centre of attention when you've come out expressly to attract attention, you're an idiot."
In my opinion, the cops were utterly transparent in their handling of all things public. They may have tried some fearful intimidation on innocent people but they didn't try to hide it - you got caught in their web, you paid the price. Inversely the anarchists hid behind masks and terrorist-like actions and cry about their freedoms. Irony all around, my friends.
Canada’s Wonderland 2010
It was that time of year again, when SharkBoy got discounted tix to the City of Toronto's BBQ at Canada's Wonderland. This year we dragged JTree and Fortress of Solitude along with us.
For some reason, I was asked to digitize out FoS and only to refer to JTree as "Turdmorton Sheffield the Third" or something. I don't get it.
Anyway. Pics here. All pretty self explanatory. I got super sick after the 15th ride. Go figure.
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