Category Archives: You Stupid Dick

Rent A Pain In The Ass

Toronto, You Stupid Dick

Never, EVER rent from the Thriftys/Dollar outlet on Parliament and Queen. Our near-flawless trip to Montreal/Vermont was marred by the inept staff at this outlet. Hear our tale of woe:

SharkBoy went online a few weeks before Easter weekend and reserved a “Full Sized” car and was told it would be ready by 5pm. Of course these chuckleheads think those simple reservation facts actually mean “the less-than-full size Camry will be pushed upon you (“This is all we have sir!”) somewhere around 5:30pm, dirty and without keys”.

We’re always renting a larger car for the transporting of in-laws and their luggage across Quebec into Vermont and have as of yet, never gotten exactly what we asked for when reserving online, at any outlet or rental company. So the swapped out car really was no surprise. The late arrival of this car, coupled with the conditions it came in was unacceptable, though.

To start, the new car had a new keyless ignition and the staff gave no instruction as to how to start the car. In fact, the dickfuckwad attendant took the key with him after he hastily “cleaned” the outside of the car. SharkBoy was shown the car and he had a brief conversation with the assmunch attendant about how the license plate of the rental car (from Nova Scotia) may get the border crossing guards in a snit when we tried to enter Vermont (it did, but thankfully not to the point of having to stop and get out). SharkBoy was assured it would be alright and was ok’d to leave. When he turned off the car at home, he couldn’t restart it or close the windows. No “key”! An angry phone call to Thrifty/Dollar was made and SharkBoy was told to come back to the office to get the key. Huh? After some REAL SLOW TALKING he was able to get them to realize they still had the key and he could not start the car again. Well that was his fault, according to them – he didn’t take it! So some poor car jockey had to come to our house and take the brunt of SharkBoy’s anger: This car is dirty. You forgot to give me the key. I have no clue how to start this car. You better tell your manager I’m really pissed. Etc.

The poor kid’s response? “Could you go easy? It’s after 6pm and I have to go home!”

Yeah. Kids today.

Further investigation of the car found that the previous renters left garbage in the trunk and used the cup holders in the back seat as an ashtray (yes the car smelled like a seedy dockside bar from the 70s). There’s more to this tale of incompetent woe, but just know that no one in that office would take responsibility for the conditions of the car, or their actions. When we returned it, the outlet manager gave us one day off the price (wooopie.) and hoped that we would rent from them again.

We said no. Never. You should too until someone teaches those tacofucks some customer service theory.

Bad Mood

Distractions, Queer stuff, You Stupid Dick

…and you should be too!

Here’s why:

I’m baffled why this man is holding any sort of seat of power at all, let alone Science Minister. His refusal to respond to a basic science theory (I’ll call it theory for you Creationists), of which all scientists of any credibility believe to be fact, just shows ponderous ignorance towards his position. Let’s get someone in there who can at least respond to questions with aplomb and intelligence.

Let’s continue on in that vein, shall we? An Immigration Minister who has spouted hate will not pepper his decisions regarding the applications of people he’s bad mouthed? I find that extremely hard to believe. Hey! As a good religious man I am sure he will not let his prejudices get in the way!

Dances With The Stars sucks this season. Even with Woz on it. Belinda should have stayed and glue-huffing-for-a-dollar Steve-O should have walked. ‘Nuf said.

You Americans are dealing with AIG’s utter arrogance towards their bailout, like a bratty child at Xmas tossing aside it’s under appreciated gift from an angry aunt. We in Canada have to deal with Chrysler Canada making threats of pulling out of Canada if they’re not given money to continue to make shitty product. So far, they’ve asked for the money and provided very little in the way of confidence that the bailout will go towards creating innovative product.

I open my Twitter account to find an entry from Davewordswords: davewordswords: Smokey lead quite a life. Farewell to the six-fingered, bat-catching Haligonian cat.

Yes it’s a long post about someone’s cat. But it’s well written and ends on such a bittersweet note that I gulped back tears and pretended to suffer from allergies. Bite me, Davewordswords (kidding…).

It’s Wednesday. I need a cuddle.

CP24 To Offer Breakfast Television Some Youthful Competition?

Celebs and Media, Toronto, You Stupid Dick

First, let me preface this post by apologizing to all my non-Toronto readers. Go look at my Flickr account, this post will not interest you.

I’ve steadily been having a big hate-on for Breakfast Television since it’s sale to Rogers and its long, slow departure from CityTV/CTV while remaining on CTV’s news channel. The choppy and awkward station ID/commercial flips between the two has been like trying to track a schizophrenic family member’s conversation who hasn’t taken their meds in months. For the last month or so, any fan of Breakfast Television who watches on the CP24 channel will have noticed that when BT goes to commercial, CP24 kicks in with “More On CP24!” teasers of weather and traffic.

Let’s just get past the fact that the bumper title is dangerously close to “MORON CP24!” if you’re not watching the screen closely…

Besides being utterly maladroit (like that? I have Thesuarus.com open), these extra reports of traffic and weather are an additional assault of already mentioned information (it’s fucking scrolling across the bottom already!!), jazzed up with an odd segment of Cam Woolley driving around town and talking about traffic (different idea but utterly useless: “Here’s a live feed of us stuck in traffic on the DVP!”).

I’ve posted before about how BT gets my ire: particularly Kevin “I Don’t Live In Toronto” Frankish and his need to revolve the show around himself. Even his post-show blog (full of terminology errors – he calls his video posts “blogs”), gets my blood boiling. I’m really glad he’s trying to get on board with the whole Web 2.0, new technology thing but it’s becoming unwatchable, like your parent trying to email a photo off their hard drive (no offense dad!!). I have to admit in the last while, I’ve hopped over to Canada AM and have become dangerously close to accepting their dry, conservative pap as my morning ritual.

Until this morning there was a ray of hope…

This morning during a CP24 bumper, in between the weather and traffic, there were two young somethings chatting amicably about their fantastic weekend and how great the weather was. I missed their names and the segment lasted only a minute, but they got my attention… They were young, well dressed, good looking, bright, smiling, energetic and so NOT like the current Breakfast Television crew, that my heart beat faster.

Is CP24 going to cut loose BT and have their own breakfast show of goodlookings 20-30somethings? I’m hoping that CP24 is grooming young bucks to offer a breath of fresh air from curmudgeonly Kevin “I’m Old and at no way at all a Metrosexual” Frankish? Can Dina transfer over to that show if they do? She’s the only reason I’ve hung on so long.

Life Imitates The Simpsons And Isn’t All That Funny

You Stupid Dick

Okay, whoever owns 416 000 9946 (and all other 000 prefix exchanges) needs to sit on a machete without lube and drag their ass around their living room carpet like a dog with worms. These annoying telemarketers are almost Simpsonesque in it’s execution, but no where near as funny: phone rings and there’s either a really long pause then hang up, because the idiots operating the autodialer have the brains the size of pine nuts, or the uninteresting recording rambles on about crap I don’t need.

Yes, I’ve stopped answering it, since it’s tagged to my cell phone (hmmm, Rogers, I wonder how they got that number since I’ve only ever given that out to family) and that shit eventually costs money. And before you suggest it, the Canadian Do Not Call list is managed by ear puss leaking drooling fucktards who managed to sell the list to scammers, spammers and dicks.

Here’s one for free, Rogers (or any other telecommunications company): since you care so much to filter spam on the internet, why not man up and offer a block on all xxx-000-xxxx number, for free! You’ll have people flock to your service, I betcha!

Over Killzone Too

Distractions, Gaming, You Stupid Dick

I’m sure this game is amazing. The trailers look faboo, the screengrabs look rockin’, it’s got some hypementum behind it.

But do you think Sony could find a better reviewer than their own bloody magazine! That’s like Tyra Banks saying America’s Next Top Model is the best model search program there ever was.

Meh. I’ll probably hit it.

Ding Ding! Fight!

Tech, You Stupid Dick

When I read this: Google releases tools to determine if your ISP is throttling your data, I feel like the socially mid-level kid who never bothers anyone who goes apeshit when he sees a schoolyard fight.

It’s interesting to see Google stepping up into the role of a proactive net-neutrality watchdog. As a company that’s banking on the internet eventually being put to use by all of us for everything above the operating system level — applications, data storage and communications — the move makes sense. But rather than push for open, reliable connections in the courts or through legislation, Google is taking the fight to the streets.

You hear that, Rogers? Your ass is grass at recess! Serves you right for pumping up my bill by $20. Kick the fucker, Google! Kick him!

oop! Cheez it! Teacher coming.

The Lady And The Trampled

You Stupid Dick

Ignore my previous post where I muse consumeristically about getting a new computer. I think I’ll not shop for the next couple months and subscribe to AdBusters.

Wal-Mart Stamps Out High Prices

The 34-year-old employee, who was not identified, was knocked down by a crowd that broke down the doors of the Wal-Mart at the Green Acres Mall in Valley Stream, N.Y., and surged into the store. He was pronounced dead at a nearby hospital at 6 a.m.

With that being said, I want this for Xmas. Since you’re ordering off the interwebs, no one gets hurt.