Deconstructing Online Photos

Queer stuff

Take a look at this Beefcake shot…

precious

Now we all admit to loving looking at ameture cheese porn. Admit it! We love looking at people exposing themselves in more ways than one. We love tearing into these images like a box of Cocopuffs with a diamond ring in it.

Undies shot, check.
Hot bear bod, check.
Hot boots, check.
Under the hot boots… What’s up with that chair? Butch? Old lady??
And finally, the shiny precious throw over the table behind. By this point I’ve moved far past the erotic and well into the “bitter bitchy”.

To be fair, I had this up on my Bear411 profile for a week or two:

mask

…And it wound up being used in a comedic video clip, played at the campground (and possibly for a tv pilot). I was glad someone ‘got’ the joke but the video was showcasing the futility of online profiles, much like what I’m doing here.

The comedy snake eats itself.

First Time Censorship

Celebs and Media

I was asked to change my latest Torontoist article from a request to an “observation”

Here’s the Torontoist article.

Here’s what I originally wrote:

Hey there George Stroupo… George Stoppogrop… George Stroumboulopoulis (lordy, there’s a candidate for taking your partner’s name in marriage), in shocking us with your return to the Ceeb, you proudly boast getting a Prince Albert this summer. What? The L.A. producers didn’t think you were edgy enough? In keeping with journalistic integrity, this Torontoist (and most of the queer community) wants proof! You can’t just ‘say’ you got it done, you have to back up what you say on TV. Especially if it’s the CBC and some of our tax money went into poking holes in Lil’ Georgie. Especially if you’re going to make that awful “I’m a widdle stinka” face at the camera.

Send us a JPG! We promise not to laugh

Does that make me an established writer yet?

Pet Shop Boys – Psychological Tour

Celebs and Media, Toronto

I’m no longer a PSB Virgin. Took me 21 long years to finally see one of their concerts (I can probably count the number of videos I’ve seen of theirs, pre-YouTube, on one hand) and let me tell you, they were great!

Here’s my Torontoist post.

It was totally weird to see from the front row balcony a concert hall full of gleaming male pattern baldness, barely dancing, lurching beside young girls (“Did we miss Sodom and Gomorrah Show?” asked a young female latecomer to me as they settled in). And in keeping with PSB’s love of irony, they’re a band that thrives on dance music and yet they performed at the Hummingbird Centre, where dancing is verbotten!

Yaaaaay!

You Gunna Eat Dat?

Toronto

Saturday, 1pm, Eaton Centre Food Court (South)

Over Sharkboy’s shoulder I can see him going to various people asking for change but with a twist. He’s asking for something else which makes his targets almost recoil at first and then refuse him after. He’s typically street person unkept, with one pant leg torn away 4 inches above the knee, exposing a yellowy bandage. His eyes are ca-ray-zee!

“Spare any change?” he asks at our table.

“Sorry,” we say.

“You going to eat that?” he asks pointing at the half pack of fries on the tray.

“No. Take them,” Sharkboy says.

He scoops them off the table and wordlessly turns to leave. Sharkboy says to his back, “You’re welcome!”

“What? WHAT? I’ll throw these motherfuckers out, man! I don’t have to say ‘Thank you’. You think I need to say ‘Thank you?’ FUCK you! Yeah fuck you buddy!”

Sharkboy and I are stunned. I make “Oh god don’t say a word” eyes at Sharkboy. With much more abuse hurled at us, he wanders off to another table. We watch him as he goes through his diatribe for the next lunchers. When he doesn’t get anything, he tosses our now-empty bag of fries down on their table.

I wanna go to MIIIIAAAMI!

General

Bear, party of 8, headed to Miami, Florida, Dec 02 for one night.

Can anyone suggest a good hotel around US$70-US$100/night? Sharkboy and I have worked ourselves up into a tizzy googling hotels and their online customer reviews, most of which have the words “Bed bugs”, “hooker”, and “disgusting”.

We stayed at the Best Western last year and it was ok – not great for $120US. The room wasn’t ready when we arrived 2pm, staff seemed put off that I asked to cash a traveller’s cheque and generally regarded us with dead eyes. The hotel was clean(ish) and was fine for one night but I think we could do better.

Suggestions? Comments?

Me & My Katamari

Hobbies

Me & My Katamari for the PSP is like a sticky, nubbly orb of stuff, rolling around in your head, picking up the fluff and fostam and creating a great big ball of fun. If you have a PSP, go get this game now.

kata003.jpg
Nice boobies, Madonna!

Upside? The King of Cosmos spends the entire game in a leotard swimsuit, legs akimbo, his bulbous crotch the aiming point for the prince to rocket off to the next game. He still spouts bizzare sentence shards of logic and mythology. The music rocks (thankfully missing are some of the lame choices from KM2) and can be chosen for each adventure. None of the addictive game play is lost in shrinking Katamari to the PSP

Downside? There only seems to be 6 areas (with variations) in the main game, repeated depending on the goals required of you by the King, so play gets a bit “easy” near to the end. There are 5 different challenges that can be peppered in between these games which help. The worst is the controls. So ackward. Without the ease of two analog sticks, you have to rely on subtle twists and nudges from the R and L buttons to manouver.

Other than that, an extremely satisfying game.