Weird. Like a pop culture singularity.
I have stumbled across three “John Carter of Mars” websites today without use of search engine or actively hunting them down. Once = “Cool!” Twice = “Hum. That’s interesting.” Thrice = “yeeks!”
I read (I think) three of these books as a kid. Swords, loincloths, Martians and honour.
Never really bought the whole “gettin’ tuh Mars sans spacecraft” though.
This morning, Toronto was treated to 5 light aircraft dragging huge banners behind them extolling the new services Air Canada has to offer. I’m sorry I didnt get a photo, I havent worked out taking clear shots using the camera on the new phone (yeah we broke down and got one each).
The first aircraft was dragging an Inuit bird design. The second was a cropped headshot of the Statue of Liberty. The third a cowboy. Fourth: a cropped “OLLYWOO”. And lastly, AC’s URL.
Nice stunt. The one colour illustrations were clear enough to be seen from that height, but I am sure the Inuit bird might have been lost on some. It took me a while to realize that in context of the other banners, it was to represent B.C. or Vancouver or Emily Carr’s floating ghost. Or something. The Liberty head could have been replaced with a stinky cab driver and they could have dropped garbage on the city with NYC verve and attitude, while the Calgary Cowboy banner plane could have just dropped bombs on our overly-Liberal Toronto. Lastly the OLLYWOO banner was a nice touch for all the industry types in town for the TIFF.
Now. About that whole bankruptcy thing a couple years back…?
While this was effective (Im writing about it, yeah?) I think Im starting to get Ad-fatigue while scooting around Toronto. Dundas Square isnt done yet and I dread going there because I’m either so dazed at all the crap to look at, like some Eastern Bloc European let loose at Costco, or Im bumping into Eastern Bloc Europeans dazed at all the crap to look at. At Yonge and Isabella, by my Da’s condo, up on the side of the ever deteriorating Church of Scientology, there’s a video billboard that makes his livingroom look like something from Blade Runner on good nights. If they’re shilling anything using bright and gaudy images, his condo is lit up like an acid trip. When circuit parties roll into town, advertisers have taken to spraypainting the URLs of the event on the sidewalks of Church Street. Now keeping your head down to avoid a constant barrage of ads while out for a stroll is no longer an option. While trying to drive by Yorkville during TIFF, I was held up at a light by one of those roving billboards, the midsized trucks with nothing on their flatbeds other than a poster for a movie or some such nonsense. The truck had t-boned the intersection, not allowing north bound traffic past it. I leaned out my window and yelled “I am SOOO NOT going to see that movie because you’re blocking traffic!” I got the finger.
Dont get me wrong. I think the anti-postering law was a foolish waste of debate. I like street posters when they’re put up with respect of property and other posters. But the large stuff like the blimps and the planes and the video walls are making me think we’re living in a city of booming carnies vying for your attention.
If you haven’t done so yet, hold off on downloading iTunes 5 until a patch is available. I read (via Cnet’s News.com) that people are starting to complain of weird bugs on Apple’s support forums. Stuff like music and directories going missing, QuickTime incompatablities or the darn thing just not opening.
I just plugged in my iPod and discovered it created a new “On The Go” folder filled with show tunes and Xmas music. WTF?
Maybe Apple is subconciously getting people to shop for their Nanoo Nanoo’s early.
UPDATE: Just found some James Bond Themes in there too. Huh?!
I just came in from lunch and my supervisor grabbed my chilly nipples through my t-shirt.
“AAWWK!” I hooted, trying to defend my chest like Sissy Spacek from Carrie. I cried, “If I did that to you, I’d be fired!”
“That’s the beauty of differences,” she said and ducked into her cube.
Have a martini, look around and make yourself at home.
Don’t poke Sharkboy. He ‘s been eating chilli all week.
Any questions, just ask.
Dead Robot
One Adam 12. One Adam 12. Possible gang fight. With chains and knives
Sharkboy picked up the first season DVD and we’ve been tucking into this groovy show. If you’ve never seen this 1968 cop drama then this post will probably not make sense so you should just move along now, nothing to see here. But if you have, then you know that the scripts are lifted from actual police reports. Half the stories are open-ended and without resolution which makes viewing a lot like watching an ADD writer who’s forgotten his meds months ago, try to hack out a Law and Order episode. Its fun to try to pick out the dialoge seams as the charcaters jump from gritty, true “She hit me with a pot of hot grease!” exclamations to the humanized, cop to cop banter: “Gee Pete, do you think you can take one of my puppies?”
I also love how they portray the hippie culture in harsh contrast to the incredibly boring, straight laced cops. Always, the criminal element has a vest (the more velour, the greater the probability of “smack” and “pot” use) and some sort of pendant that could make the dresser for Jesus Christ Superstar weep openly. There are subversive moments every so often that makes you go hmmmm, like the teen who tries to sell stolen credit cards with his “pal” from “San Francisco”, who is dressed rather foppishly. Or the two guys picked up for “driving around looking for a friend’s house” who eye each other nervously when asked why they have a bike sticking out of their trunk. And you have to love an episode that’s called “Log 131: Reed, the Dicks Have Their Jobs, and We Have Ours”
The above “chains and knives” quote is from the show’s beginning. We always giggle a bit when the dispatch says that part because she sounds so nasal and bored. As gay men are wont to do, Sharkboy and I have started to quote this when we are being catty while people watching:
“One Adam 12, one Adam 12. See the man. Far exer-cycle, north east corner of weight room. Possible neck injury. Suspect boogying too hard with walkman while cycling.”
“One Adam 12, one Adam 12. See the woman. Walking by us now. Black socks and birkenstocks. Code Ew.”
“One Adam 12, one Adam 12. See the man. Possible hubba hubba, aroooogah.”
And, as a beautiful memory marker that both Sharkboy and I are convinced was an influence to our homosexuality, is the ending: A sweaty, dirty, meaty hand bangs down twice on a brand, pulling away to reveal “A MARK VII PRODUCTION”
It seems that the Tim Hortons at Carlton and Jarvis is gaining ground as the city’s Worst Tim Hortons.
Poor Apprentice Blog.
I feel your pain:
I wandered into that same Timmys for a quick tea.
“An extra large, Earl Grey tea, double milk, please.”
“Green tea?” she says. Her voice is alarmingly similar to Scooby Doo.
“No. Earl Grey.”
She punches in my order. GREEN TEA comes up on the screen.
“Uh. Earl Grey? I asked for an Earl Grey,” I say pointing.
“Not Green …tea?”
“Earl. Grey. Extra. Large. Double. Milk.”
The second staff member comes over and voids the entry. She flummoxes around the punchpad until the other clerk comes back, finds it and pushes the buttons for her. I swear to you, she mumbled “green tea” as she turned to fill my order.
Seems Photojunkie has had a similar experience up on the Danforth, near to my fave fruit market.
Share your stories. Tell me of your Canadian shame…
The whole process of getting pics off a camera phone without a Bluetooth dongle or connector wires is a bit chunky. But here are a couple just for shits and giggles:
The current crap around my monitor.
A buttload of cop bikes.
It’s not too bad quality, I suppose. I did have to do some tweaking in p-shop.
And speaking of “safe camera use”: A fellow blogger I know took a picture of a guy reading in a coffee shop, without his consent, and posted it to his blog. While taking pictures of people in public is legal, this morning I found out that what he did was illegal, only because his post included comments on how “hot” this guy looked, making the publication of this image “sexual content”. I guess that makes him a crim.
Be careful out there, my camera equipped legions! I bet that as our privacy erodes through emerging technology, we will see irrational claims that our souls will be stolen if you make a call in someone’s direction.
I offer up to the Interweb these print/web comic ideas since I have no time to get them started. Feel free to develop them to your liking, just make sure you put “Created by Dead Robot!” (yes, with exclamation point). Some skate close to pre-copywritten things but you can cry “fair use” to weasle out.
Space 1998
A year before the tragic nuclear accident that blasts the Moon away from Earth’s orbit has the construction crew building Moonbase Alpha run up against:
Manky Kitty Estates
Taken from a tossed away line from Corination Street, MKE is about the life of British 20somethings living in a decrepid council flat:
B.E.: Life under the Psychlos
Human characters from Battlefield Earth outwit and outsmart the Psychlos in this remix of Hogan’s Heros.
So INXS has released a single already with the new lead singer, JD Fortune (an apt name until the first album tanks), doing the vocals. And the children’s book from last night’s Martha Stewart’s Apprentice is on sale today in the bookstores. Clever marketing tie in.
Pretty soon we’ll be buying product before we know what it is.
“Great car. What kind is it?”
“I dont know. No markings. I think it’s from next fall’s TV show So You Wanna Be a Corporate Shill?“