Clothing update!
Underwear: 9 pair
Socks: 10 pair
Swimwear: 3 pair
Pants: 3
Dress shorts: 2
Gym shorts: 2
Shoes: 3
T-shirts: 9
Dress Shirts: 5
Ties: 2
Suit: 1
Windbreaker: 1
Day Trip Bags: 2
Sunglasses: 2
notebook: 1
I can’t frigging wait!!! Its like I have bees in my pants…fighting the ants!!
I was reminded just how beautiful life is.
Imagine having an albatross put around your neck and for years, you faithfully drag it around like an ancient mariner, kowtowing to it’s needs. You’re forced to pull you down, peck your eyes, hang off your neck – change you. At first you rage against the bird, tearing at it’s feathers and clawing at it’s beak but it’s not going anywhere. In time you accept the bird, the weight, and it becomes a part of you. Years go by.
One day someone comes from nowhere and takes the giant bird from you and replaces it with a much smaller, quieter, gentler bird. Would you be stunned? Would you be happy? Would you be mad?
I was. All three. At the same time.
I had a smaller bird given to me today. A weight removed and light came streaming in. And I stood there and blubbered and laughed and cried, much to Sharkboy’s surprise. I couldn’t stop. I had to get it out.
Despite the crazy people on the subway, the insane jerks who think that god and guns are a way to solve problems, the myopic people in power, the interweb freaks blogging about their opinions, the crummy weather, life is incredibly precious. I am grateful for every moment, every experience I have had. I plan to laugh my tits off this week. I suggest to you do the same. Promise me that sometime this week you stop what you’re doing and notice the good things around you, with you, on you.
Promise me that you will laugh. It doesn’t have to be complex set up. In fact to find the good stuff you need to just stop, step back, and observe. Its that simple.
Okay the syrupy stuff is done. I will bring you all drunken sea monkeys from Belize.
Have an excellent week!
The McDonalds near my office got new garbage cans!
I was sitting near one at lunch today and I could hear a tinny sampled “Thank you!” every so often. It would happen every time someone walked by the garbage can and I concluded that it had some sort of motion sensor in it, offering thanks everytime someone walked by.
It came time to dispose of my trash and I walked up to the can. It had a twonie sized red dot just above the garbage flap. As I got closer, I got the “Thank you!” loud and clear.
And then the flap opened all by itself.
It creeped me out. Voop! Open went the “mouth” and in went my trash. I didnt have to touch the usually Secret Sauce covered flap. As I walked away, the maw closed slowly and I wondered if it was possible to put a “burp” file in there after it closed.
We’re home!
I have stories and images coming out the ying yang. Expect muevo entries this week.
We got back 40 min ago and ordered Swiss Chalet because we apparently have forgotten how to cook for ourselves. We dumped “Shelly”, a new character to Deadrobot.com, in her bleach bath and settled down to some “travelling since 7am” TV.
The first image on the screen was the Poseideon Adventure remake. Weird.
More later my pretties!
Our plane hit the tarmac in Miami just after 3pm and we came out of the airport to somewhat heavy heat. Our taxi ride to the hotel was stop and go over into South Beach but we did pass by the cruise ship terminal where I got to see a Carnival ship (boo hiss!).
The Best Western on Washington St should be avoided at all cost. It may boast Art Deco and competitive rates but it certainly doesn’t offer anything else beyond that. The pool is 5 feet away from a street as busy as Bay St! The room smelled weird and the front desk guy (who seemed to live behind the desk the entire 24 hours we spent there) would not cash USD$ travellers cheques. But you know what? We didn’t spend that much time in the room other than to sleep (we were so tired there could have been a knife fight outside the door and we would have missed it) and to shower. So it was fine but no great shakes. After dumping our luggage we took off to wander the streets of Miami’s South Beach.
Amazing architecture! The colours and shapes were amazing to see and I was glad that we took the extra day to see it all. The damage to Miami didn’t seem too bad but there were a few blown out windows and missing sign letters.
The main strip was fun to walk down and watch the rich tourists wander in and out of posh, pastel neon lit lobby bars. In this particular hotel, I felt like I was walking right back into a ’50s hotel. We were later chased out of the hotel by security thugs. Sheesh!
Colourful characters lined the boardwalk. It was a real party town. We ate like kings at Outback Jack’s and had a long walk in the near full moon light along the beach. I was really looking forward to getting on the ship!
Tune in tomorrow for more!
Hello from Ocho Rios, Jamaica!
Im sitting in a cafe with a Red Stripe, looking at the back end of our ship and we just got back from Dunn’s River Falls where Sharkboy and I successfully climbed the falls without falling and cracking our heads open!
We saw three different James Bond sets so far.
Yesterday, Labadee, was wet but good. Not the best day so far but relaxing on a private beach…more later.
Dinners are incredible exercises in excess. There are at least 4 restaurants on every level all offering food 24/7. Americans are walking pharm commercials as we have breakfast with different ones every day and they all want to talk about their sea sickness pills. Sharkboy has managed to offened every American at every meal sitting by mentioning movies that were touchy subjects:
To the Marines couple: Hey have you seen Jarhead yet?
Mr & Mrs Jarhead: (Icily) No.
To the Couple from Utah: Hey have you seen Napoleon Dynamite yet?
Mr & Mrs Mormons:( Icily) No. Never mention that stupid movie again.
To the Brit Couple Who Were Not Having ANY Fun: Hey what’s happening on Corrie?
Mr & Mrs CSI, Thank You Very Much: (Icily) We only watch American TV.
Bless him for trying.
The ship is amazing. Definetly going back next year on a different ship (I said typed “boat” and got a maragrita-soaked hand to the back of my head just now). The weather could be better, we’re running a day ahead of a tropical storm so the skies are iffy.
“I’m drunky!” says Sharkboy over my shoulder
More later. I need to wipe out the spam.
I switched on my old dear friend Beigiey The Computer last night and it woke up and asked “Who am I?”
The drive that held the operating system wasn’t spinning. Thankfully the storage drive was unaffected. Never purchased cheap drives from that “big” refurbished computer parts store on College by Spadina, no matter how seductive the price, is all I’m saying. It lasted a day over the warranty.
Sharkboy’s iBoob is letting me talk to you today. All Hail Jobs!
I am half way through re-installing all the programs and should resume the Cruise story by Thurs night.
Stay tuned for Haitian sorrows, food of the Gods, kissing the ‘Rays, an announcement to upset the right-wingers and a leap of faith in the Belize jungle.
Sorry for the innconnvennience.
While we scramble to fix things, please enjoy this Robot Chicken clip that sums up Star Wars perfectly.
The cab driver drops us at the terminal and we’re greeted by Ramon who cheerfully tags our luggage and accepts a $5 tip (from here on in, folks, everything is in US Dollars, k?). We pass through security and giddily check in. To get on the ship we must pass through one of the thousand or so “photo ops” that will take place through out our vacation (available for $10 at the Photo Shop, onboard!). Later, we find this instance and I look like I am shitting a brick because I can see the ship just in front of me and I WANT TO GET ON IT NOW! Plus, I am wearing The Shirt. The Shirt is the shirt I am wearing in every single piece of ID I own. A green and blue plaid short sleeved number that can be seen on my passport, drivers ID, Health card, and IATA card. Weird cowinkydink.
We enter The Radiance of the Seas.
I hold back tears of joy. For a ship, it is the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in, but the room was so small I had to go outside just so I could turn around. We played with every single knob, button, lightswitch, safe combination, balcony door handle and tv remote in the room.
The room fills with an announcement that we have to put on our life jackets and head down to level 6. See, we had to complete a drill by law before we could set sail. I looked fat.
The announcements continue and we hear the ship’s Cruise Director for the first time tell us about the thousands of things happening that evening. A pleasant chap who ended every announcement with a fast, conspiratory “bing bong!” Like he wasn’t suppose to do that, but did it anyway as a joke. Funny.
Back in the cabin, we dump the life jackets and start to explore. Top to bottom. At one point we found the near-24hr all you can eat buffet called The Windjammer Cafe. My heart nearly lept out of my chest as we passed by all the salads and burgers and pizzas and cold cuts. I wiped away a tear of joy as we passed by the soft ice cream machine. “No money?” I ask Sharkboy, the lump in my throat making my voice squeak.
“No money needed,” he says. I immediately start a plan to remove the small couch in our cabin and replace it with the ice cream machine…
We wander to the bow of the ship to watch The Radiance leave Miami. Beautiful sun, laughing crowds and a million Englishmen with camcorders surrounded us. The ship did a sharp 180 turn in the bay (thanks to it’s two rotating propeller pods) and as soon as we were pointing east, we were treated with 25MPH winds in our face. And then the clouds came. We saw the sun for the last time for close to 24 hours. A light rain fell. And then it rained harder. The wind picked up. Sharkboy and I ran from the deck, right behind the first “other two gay guys” on the ship. Die hard romantics to the end.
We got dried off and got ready for dinner. Table for 12. We sat with some really nice people. Two couples from California (moderately liberal, gregarious, covered in jewelery, and happy to be there), a couple from England (on their second week of travelling on the Radience), and a couple from Nadick, outside of Boston. The last two seats were never filled. Who knows where they were.
We ate like kings. We ate like GODS. We ate the souls of innocent societies with gravy. We ate enough for a small army. Okay… *I* ate enough for a small army. The dining room was lifted right from the Posideon Adventure, except that there was no Xmas tree or a big glass lightpanel to fall through if (when?) the ship were to turn over.
We wandered the ship to work off dinner. When they say “floating hotel” they aren’t exaggerating. The elevators chimed happily (“Deck 7!” the elevator would say with a wide smile behind the tone and I would finish it of with “…the happiest deck on the ship!” It was very Heart of Gold). The wind was terrific and the ship rocked more than Sharkboy could remember from his last trip. It was a bit disconcerting that a ship that large could scoot around that much but the staff were laughing and having a good time so I felt at ease. I didnt feel sick but I did get a bit of a head ache from trying to stay “upright” on such hard chop.
We went to the Aurora Theatre and watched the first night’s show. Somewhere between Canada’s Wonderland and Vegas, this little theatrical gem was born, a show called “Piano Man” that paid hommage to Billy Joel, Manilow, Elton and for some bizzare reason, Wizard of Oz. Eh. What can you do? Big kudos to the dancers for being able to flip and twirl while the ship rocked so much. Bed was before midnight.
Bored at work? Go vote! I did. Godspeed to all contestants!