On Thursday I responded to an ad on craigslist for REAL tradespersons to be in a Govt of Canada/Ontario(?) commercial, no experience required. Off goes my headshot and a white lie of my skills and the headhunter calls me within 30 minutes.

I blush! That fast!

Okay I know what you’re thinking, I barely know which way a hammer goes (the heavy sidey thing hits the flatty sided thingamagigger). But I did do cedar siding for cottages around my home town when I was a teen so it’s not THAT much of a stretch, okay? With all my butch clothes from working at the Black Eagle, I had a ton of clothing options, so I was pretty hopeful to get a callback. (taps fingers)

Auditions were just like I remember them from Queer As Folk: the actors greeting each other and exchanging work info like hobos giving rail riding tips. Plus there were a few REAL tradespeople who I avoided in case I got called out. One guy had drywall dust all over him and I was instantly jealous of his character choice.

I’m called and I saunter past the actors trying out for office parts. All eyes on the REAL guy going in.

I stand and deliver a 30 second monologue of my skills. Done! The guy before me was equally fast so I couldn’t tell my chances.

After, I met up with SharkBoy and went into HomeSense to oo and aa over bear lamps.

Shrug. Wish me luck.