From Cabbagetown to Lawrence and Yonge there are…
Number of puke puddles: 4
Number of puke puddles being nibbled on by pigeons: 0 (thankfully)
Number of people walking with their mouths open like sinus-deficient grouper fish: 3
Number of posters I see that I desperatley want to deface either with marker or stickers but probably won’t because I’m a good boy: all of them.
Number of near-death step off the curb experiences: 1
Number of people I’d shag while riding on the Subway: 0 (okay, 0.5 if I was drunk. He looked like Philip Seymore Hoffman)
Number of Starbucks employees I’d shag: 1 (angrily)
Number of Tim Horton employees I’d shag: 0
Number of songs it takes to get from Bloor/Yonge to Lawrence Station: 2 (long ones from Snivilization, by Orbital)
Number of Tetris Ultra (highest score in a 3 minute game) I can play from B to L stations: 3.4
Number of twits looking over my shoulder probably judging my brick arrangement choices: 1
Number of nail spas/hair salons from Lawrence Station to work (4 regular blocks): 7
Number of nails I chew: 10 (please, I leave my feet alone)
Number of Tetris Ultra games I can play while waiting for and travelling on the company elevator to go up 5 floors: 2
Number of hellos I get when I walk in: 9
9 thoughts on “The Walk to Work Count”
I see these puddles over by the village, mostly.
I know the woman you are speaking of. Just saw her seconds ago. She sits in front of the Hardware store in the summer and we can hear her through our open window. Poor dear. But damn if her voice doesnt make me laugh.
where are you seeing these puke puddles? you live almost directly on top of the streetcar stop, and while parliament street indeed has its share of alcoholics (have you met the high-pitched intersex native wo/man who squeaks out her pleas for spare change?), you can’t encounter their spoor much. i think all the yak you see must be up at yonge and lawrence, probably from office drones resenting their sad, shabby little lives and glendon campus kids out celebrating their atrophying futures.
hmmm I should try this list here in Mexico, no Tim Hortons, but a hell of a lot of tourist puke and pigeons to gobble it all up. I’m sure I could add a few Mexican referenes!
oops…guess I am still a day screwed from the 27″ of snow last week in NYC…and someone tore the calendar on my desk one day ahead, so I was looking at the WED calendar all day….DUH HUH.
still gastro-splurging on a Tues from the weekend…ew…
speaking of that…I got an intestinal bug my first week at university in 1984…UNC (North Carolina). It was not pleasant. Called Flagelle…as they were flagellum..those little one cell parasites with the whiplike tails. I had eaten two yogurts and a banana for breakfast one morning. My first class that morning was ECON..and it was in a theater of 1500 folks, and I was in the second row. I burped and well, you know it was that precurser burp to a hurl…so I got up, ran as fast as I could, I only weighed 190# then…got to the two story marble steps out front and just hurled it all up on those nice marble steps…only to have a black lab sitting on the steps eat it all up as fast as it came out of me…EGADS…that is one of the reasons I never let a dog kiss me! ICK And yogurt is not pleasant the second time around.
I miss walking the city in the morning…used to walk 10 blocks to work thru downtown Philadelphia every morning…with the tunes playing, blocking out all human contact…yes…good times….
If I had my own blog, I’d take one entry to describe my arrival at work, but since I don’t, I’ll write it here:
Swing open the front door and greet the receptionist with “Blahhh” (not hello, not how are you, just blahhh) and makes somekind of a comment including Rage, the nickname she’s given me (justified too)! I pick up the mail and faxes and turn to Sharleen in accounting, quiet mousy girl: Sharleen? Great Job yesterday on that report! (I’ve never seen any of her reports, but I’m sure they’re great)… this has been going on since her return from maternity leave 11 months ago, I don’t think she even hears it anymore… On the way to my desk, I make sure that passing by my manager’s and director’s offices, I look in their office, sometimes locking eyes if they are in there and I don’t say a word… It satisfies me to ignore them. I put my bags down on my desk, say hello to whoever has arrived before me and as soon as the “high pitched voice one” says something, I complain about the fact that they have still not vaccumed the office… the glitters I spilled on the floor while making a birthday card for DR last July are still part of the carpet… You’d that think after more than six months hearing about the glitter in the carpet one of my co-worker would get so annoyed they’d bring their own vaccum to finally shut me up??? OH NO… Then as I turn on my computer, I ask what everybody did last night, although I probably won’t listen much, I do this just to get some life going on in this dead-o-rium… If I have to go to the kitchen to make my tea (sometimes I buy it downstairs), I pass by 1 guy and 4 girls working for the “Air Department” (they sell and print Airline Tickets) and I compliment them on their sales… I have no clue what they do really, but none of them talk to each other when I walk there, it’s always so prim / proper/ quiet… I get nothing out of them… See I work with 117 people and only like 3 of them… luckily the one sitting next to me is one of them…
So in a way, I’m totally jealous of the 9 hellos DR gets, but in another way, I don’t give anyone at my office any reason to say hello to me either…
That’s the kind of things I’d write in my “today’s” entry if I had a blog…
Furrywolf: the guy from those Scotia commercials is cute. I’d like to blow him.
DR: I used to love sparrows until I saw some picking through a street-pizza. I still like sparrows; I’ll just refrain from any sort of contact. Go figure: an animal that gets its food regurgitated during infancy is willing to pick through vomit for the big chunks…
I have Tetris ultra on my phone. I get a twinge of hesitation when I play it on public transit because it looks like I’m taking people’s picture. Sometime, ask Sharkboy about driving after playing SuperMario for a long time.
And bad news, Wolf. It’s only Tuesday. I speculate that the barfs were from bartenders partying hard on their “saturday night”
>number of times I was interupted by coworkers while I was trying to read this passage – 7. Jeez, do they not know that I like to read and pretent to be working? lol(who said that)
>I need this Tetris utlra. It would give me something to do sitting in traffic, besides picking my nose and daydreaming about the December cruise, lol.
I recall once way back circa 1990 when Tetris was out on the original Sega or whatever I had at that time…I played it for 5 hours, and then I could not sleep. I kept waking up trying to move the controls to get the pieces just right. I did not play it again for months!
another wonder about this passage…Its Wednesday morning, why was there 4 Gastro-splurges on the sidewalk on a Wednesday morning? Inquiring minds need to know…..and remember DR…The Scotia Partners Portfolio funds is just what you need, and no brain explosions. That commercial must play 25 times a night! and now its on the radio!
Nice to get the 9 hellos…I only get 2 cause I beat everyone else to work, lol…but my copy of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition that I brought to work to leave on the break room table has made me quite popular today with all my male coworkers…lol. Soft Porn will do it every time. Now, if we could have a swimsuit calendar featuring all my favorite football and baseball players….mmmmmmmmm, SCHWING!