…I have achieved or am proud of:

1) I can tie my shoes. I prefer zippers or Velcro. I can dress myself without feeling self conscious or worry that I am not appropriately dressed for certain situations.

2) My upbringing. It was rather liberal despite the Catholic overlords of grandparents insisting I was to be Confirmed. I know when to say “excuse me” or “thank you” or let people off the subway cars first. I don’t dawdle when I am at a bank machine and I am aware of my surroundings 90% of the time so I don’t burden others with my clumsiness. I turn my phone off in theatres.

3) My opinions. They’re mine, unless asked or provoked. Or blogged about.

4) The nuns who beat me over my knuckles to print clearly. Seriously. Schooling for kids these days is extremely easy yet at the same time, the social structure of schools themselves applies more pressures than ever before. When I was there, it was heavy on the learnin� and you had your small circle of friends to fall back on. I am glad I was run through the school-mill when I did.

5) My fused kidney. I have been joking about it a lot lately but it seems so bloody clear to me now that the reason I never became an alcoholic as a teen was because I couldn’t hold my liquor. To this date, I am feeling sick after three beers.

6) The drugs I took as a teen and into my 20s. I am actually quite grateful for the risks of experimenting. While I utterly despise drug use these days (myself or with others), I am thankful for the different perspective these chemicals offered me.

7) Being able to speak to my parents while on drugs. I got away with it. I am a good actor.

8) Being able to tell my parents these days when I was on drugs. And not getting a lecture.

9) Playing the Cowardly Lion in my last year at high school. And adlibbing a line that got a big laugh.

10) Trying out for The Ontario College of Art. And not getting in. I was told that I was too “middle class” and needed to travel and experience more. Best advice I have ever got.

11) Having at least three pieces of art selling within an hour of putting them up on a wall.

12) Living in England. I think that everyone should live in a different country at least one year before going into school.

13) Dating someone nearly twice my age. Maybe not brining him back to meet the folks, but I am grateful for all that Nigel did for me while I was homesick.

14) Driving Nigel’s Mini (not a remake BMW Mini, but an honest to goodness Mr Bean Mini) while in London. And discovering exactly what ‘Inertia’ really meant with my brother and my father in the car as we tried to stop behind a lorrie. Montreal driving is a cake-walk compared to navigating central London. Also driving Nigel’s friend’s Alfa Romero Spyder for three blocks before being told to “slow down, stop and get out of my car”. I guess I was driving crazy like.

15) My first experience with a round-a-bout. Nailed it, thanks.

16) Travelling to Amsterdam, Paris, Barcelona and Sitiges.

17) Fine French cuisine. And Spainish food. And Mexican. I would love to travel back there some day to eat like a pig.

18) While we�re on food: Sushi. Quail eggs raw on a bed of rice. I did two. And Eel. I�m proud of that.

19) I am proud I can make lasagna from scratch, pasta noodles included.

20) I am proud I got the opportunity to manage an historical building in Ottawa for 2 years. I maintained a 160 year old jail that had been converted into a hostel for travellers, dispensing advice and lodgings to the weary. My staff was fantastic and required very little overseeing, making my stay there one of the most proudest, patriotic jobs I have ever had.

21) Experiencing ghosts in same building. I believe in an afterlife (maybe not in a religious sort of way) and what I saw there confirmed it. We do live on and it’s governed by how we live now.

22) Understanding the concept of ‘Squash and Stretch’. Animation school taught me so much about perspective and how to look at things. When going to the Royal Winter Fair to sketch animals, my teacher told me that the best way to draw them was to sit and be patient. Penned animals usually will come back to the same pose you started to draw them at. I applied this to how I cruised for men and it works the same.

23) Working retail. And working catering. And doorman for a bar. Very humbling. Makes you respect your fellow man and tolerate people�s minor mistakes. And makes you tip a bit heavier than usual. And affords you an insight into how people think and behave rather than spending $$$ on a university education.

24) My stuff. Or lack there of. I am proud that I don’t feel the need to have the best things in all aspects of my life or fill up my life with things. I am proud that I have never owned a car yet thank my Da for letting me borrow his whenever I want to go camping.

25) My attitude towards life: It’s precious. While it’s impossible to live every day like it was your last, I do recommend that you make the time you have got worth while. Stress destroys. Love builds. Yadda yadda yadda.

26) I am proud to have had a near death experience.

27) I am proud that I can change a flat.

28) I am proud that I can hold a design job while being red-green colour blind.

29) I am proud that I can HTML, CSS and Javascript prune better than some designers out there who make more money than I. I�m not happy about it, but hey�

30) I can maintain orchids and other plants.

31) I can make it through an Aquafit class without much panting or wheezing.

32) Standing up before 1 million people and declaring my sexuality.

33) Standing up before 1 million people a few years after that and twirling a flag with only 5 months of rehearsal time. I only dropped once.

34) I am proud of the footprint I leave on the internet. Deadrobot was started back in ’99 thanks to Mr X and has been an evolving lesson in communications since. I have close to 45 RSS sign-ups and I don’t know who you people are. Thanks for reading my bad enlish spelling messtakes.

35) Never having committed a crime larger than teen-age drug taking, forgetting to pay a TTC fare (NOT GUILTY, I swear!) or parking violations. Okay I speed some but I haven�t been caught yet. No accidents either.

36) Being cheated on and being lied to by “friends” and “lovers”. Like a kick in the gut, these made me push my boundaries on trust. I’m proud of how I handled it.

37) The men I truly loved: Nigel, The Kiwi, the Gymnast, The Archivist, The Bear, Mr X, Swollen Uvula. Some I still love and stay in contact. Some I don’t. These guys made me who I am today.

38) The man I love today. Without going mushy, I have to say that Sharkboy is the most comfortable and lovable guy I have ever been with. We prop each other up when down and make each other laugh. He’s a clean pressed shirt to my crumpled t-shirt. He makes me think and appreciates my opinion. I couldn’t wish for a better mate.

39) My friends. They laugh at my jokes. They put up with my moods. They’d let me sleep on their couch (hopefully).

40) My immediate and extended family. I am humbled and happy for the qualities all these people bring to my life. They’re smart, funny, pragmatic, crazy, earthy, easy-going, loving, and available at my beck and call. My family rocks.

So that’s my 40th birthday review. Hope you enjoyed!