Stephen Harper and Bill Gates have announced plans to sink millions of dollars into a working AIDS vaccine.

When completed, the vaccine, codename Strongbow, will be available in 4 different forms:

Windows Strongbow AntiViral Home Edition Basic will keep HIV away for up to 6 months unless the user was infected by HIV that wasn’t Microsoft certified. New features await you and your loved ones when you switch over. It provides a breakthrough design that brings your health into sharper focus. Remember the 7o’s? Experience the “Wow” all over again! WSAHEB is lisenced for only one human.

Windows Strongbow AntiViral Supra Edition Ultra provides HIV protection on a subscription basis. Experience more robust HIV protection with Defender and Firewall membranes. Scheduled upgrades and service packs are included and uploaded without your knowledge as you sleep. Relax! It’s just a hose! Ultra provides the power, security, and mobility features needed for all the entertainment that you want for fun.

Windows Strongbow Small Business is perfect for your small sex trade workers. You’ll spend less time on medical support-related issues—so you can spend more time making your business successful. Multi-use lisences are available for your growing business of 10-13 escorts. If one goes down, you can rest assured that all can go down!

Windows Strongbow Business Pro will defend you and your business across a wide platform of diseases, not just HIV but whooping cough, hiccups and explosive traveller’s diarreah as well. Experience the full coverage!

Some product features are only available in certain editions of Windows Strongbow and may require advanced or additional costs.

Go ahead. Call me bitter.