Discerning Tastes

Toronto

I’ve noticed that lately the hawks that keep the pigeons at bay in Allan Gardens park have been scarce in the last couple months.

I’m about to speculate here. Stay with me.

Hawks go where the food is. After clearing out Allan Gardens, the hawks probably moved on to another pigeon populated area. Where would that be?

Pigeons love puke. They peck at the flecks of food that are found in the splatter of human spew. I know you know this to be true. Pigeons eating puke is one of those urban things that makes me laugh and gag at the same time.

Where is the puke? Why the Entertainment District, of course! Brightly coloured puddles containing $7 drinks mixed with $20 entrees, blossom nightly on the street corners and gutters of this wildly popular area of nightclubs, bars and restaurants. It’s not that much of a stretch to think the birds would be moving on down there, they’d be stupid not to! Most of the restaurants are high end so pigeons get a nice lobster dinner, in manageable peck-sized servings! And imagine the liquor they’d get too! Of course a hawk will prefer their squab marinaded with a little red wine reduction or a vermouth sauce.

So hawks, so much more beautiful than their pigeon cousins, are actually dining trendy, dining smart. Another reason I like them so much!

7 thoughts on “Discerning Tastes

  1. romach

    They call pigeons over here flying rats as they are treated as vermin here. I feed the pigeons in the garden everyday with seed and bread but I have never though of using puke. I must remember this after my next night out. 🙂

  2. Evil Panda

    The hawks are frequently in my backyard in spring, thinning the herd of baby bunnies. Mutual of Omaha, McHenry Edition!

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