Its In The Fog!

Toronto, Travel, You Magnificent Bastard, You Stupid Dick

I’m standing outside SharkBoy’s office, looking at the CN Tower through the skyscrapers thinking how hazy the day is, despite the sun being out in full force. The tower looked like it was an overexposed photo. I shake my head and think I’ve been reading too many How To Photography books.

SharkBoy exits his office and his smiling face lights up my heart. Long weekend! New York Here We Come!

Later, we’re settled in our seats on Flight 113 to Newark. The props haven’t started up despite the plane being 15 minutes late. SharkBoy mentions that fog is rolling in. We wait.

An announcement comes over the PA. Since the plane will be flying in fog, they need to lighten the aircraft by 6 passengers. Those who leave the plane will get the next available flight and a $100 credit. No one leaves and everyone starts to look at each other to see who will blink. Someone yells out “Only $100?!”. After a time the shift supervisor boards the plane with the manifest. She’s… headed straight for us!!

Since we paid the cheapest fare, we’re first off the plane. How this is fair, I have no clue – we’re penalized because we purchased early? And wanted to save some bucks? But I bite my tongue. The aircraft itself is no place to start into something like this, even though SharkBoy tosses out a few cautionary comments about how is this unacceptable. We debark the plane. I’m angry but more embarrassed to be the first people walked off. The hot stares that laser the words “You poor suckers”, burnt into the back of my head as I curtly brush past the apologetic flight attendant.

I’m still not clear why a plane has to lighten it’s load in heavy fog. I may never know. I don’t care right about now.

Since we were first off that meant we were first to see the supervisor who had no clue we were coming back from the plane. No one informed the clerical staff that the ground crew were booting people off the plane and we were met with confusion. SharkBoy is ready to pop. I take a less combative stance and try to figure out what to do next with the shift supervisor. She’s not frazzled but at the same time, she’s got a lot on her plate as more people come off our plane and others are being delayed and eventually cancelled. I have to say while I’m mad (at the weather – how useless is that?) I did have a nice bonding moment with Allison (Ashtor?). We confessed to each other that we hated flying but loved travel.

In the course of the next couple hours I went back to her to stay informed as to out status. Allison (Ashley?) was dealing with one woman who demanded, quite literally, that Porter change the weather. Seriously, she was complaining that Porter had no back up plan for bad weather. Uh… Wot? She was the kind of woman who would jump the queue “just to ask one question” that turned into 5 and ended with her rolling her eyes and not listening to what the staff were telling her (Which she did repeatedly, cell phone hanging off her Holt Renfrew spa toned face). The kind of person you wanted to accidentally walk into a turbo prop engine, Holt Refrew spa toned face first.

At about 7pm they shut down the airport completely due to the fog. We made arrangements for tomorrow morning. My last contact with Asllsionshey I started our conversation by telling her that she was doing an amazing job. And she was. I made mention that working at an airport on an island in a large lake must be frustrating more so than a land locked one. She confessed that if she drove into work and couldn’t see the CN Tower, she knew her day would be trouble.

I’ll take that to heart.

6 thoughts on “Its In The Fog!

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  4. Dead Robot

    Sorry postbear. I did call out several times but you were busy coo cooing the cats.

    All this makes sense, Jim M. But at the time it really felt like the last kid to be chosen for dodge ball. I will never relax enough to feel comfortable on a flight. The movie Fight Club has forever ruined any false security I may have had about flying.

  5. Jim M

    I know you said you didn’t care but no self-respecting plane nerd can let a question like that go unanswered.

    Planes need a certain minimum visibility in order to land. Their instruments will get them to an approach to a runway but in most cases the pilot needs to actually be able to see the ground in order to execute a landing. A high-tech jet can land in lower visibility (in some cases, just about zero) than a turboprop. If a plane is trying to land and the minimums are too low, they cannot land and must either go into a holding pattern until the fog lifts or fly to an alternate airport. Either option requires more fuel.

    More weight in the plane = more fuel used. So by lightening the load they’re conserving fuel. Why can’t they just add more fuel to the plane? My guess would be the tanks can’t hold any more or it’s cheaper to kick people off than carry more fuel. It takes fuel to carry fuel.

    Flying can be hell but every time I do it I’m still amazed that I can cross the country in a few hours while eating a sandwich at 30,000 feet, sitting in a padded chair in an air conditioned aluminum tube. This is only about 100 years after some guy flew 100 feet hanging on to a spruce wing spar.

    People who blame airline employees for the weather should be tossed off the plane once it reaches cruising altitude.

  6. postbear

    what’s the most frightening thing that can happen when you’re catsitting for friends? walking in to their apartment at 11pm after having been there earlier in the day and seeing evidence that someone has been in the home since you left.

    are the mystery people here right now? are they burglars? are the cats ok? did i lock the door when i left? did the friends double-book the catsitters and this is no big deal? did the goofs from upstairs know the tenants were away and have invaded to hold a party? have all the toys attained sentience and they’re planning an uprising?

    thank naberius i had that homeless guy blow me in the alley instead of asking him up for a quickie in your kitchen.

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