SharkBoy has a fun visual look back to 2007 so I thought I’d go all Miss Cleo on your asses and look to what this next year will bring:

In Entertainment:

• We’re going to see less and less of Lindsay Lohan. She’s going to be selling Sleepmatic beds by November
• Brad Pitt will leave Angelina Jolie by July. The kids will be divided into bite sized pieces
• Kanye West will release a CD of jazz standards. Fiddy will respond by doing a Liza tribute album
• The Simpsons will finally come to an end with a 22 minute show of them just doing nothing
• James Cameron will abandon 3D technology for Thai Shadow puppetry

In Technology

• Steve Jobs will release a new touch screen so small only fetuses will be able to operate them. Moms will be able to download The Wiggles right to their uteri.
• The Web will grow to include parts of the moon.
• Microsoft will apologize for Vista and offer everyone who purchased it a lovely card
• Asus will release a “vanity” computer that will become the rage with teen girls and embarrassed basement-dwelling 40yr olds
• Nanotech will create “blood” bots that report back to you when you’ve eaten too many chicken wings

In Your Life:

• You will find that $20 you lost in September
• Hangnails? Forget it! You’re free!
• I sense a hobby in your future! Hope you like snorkels!

Have a great year, everyone!