Author Archives: Dead Robot



The Toronto In and Out Film Festival (who’s site is down as I type this) will be screening this movie (titled “Bear Cub” for us non-Spaniards).

I recommend that if you slightly align yourself with hairy, easygoing men or consider yourself hard core Bear, you rent this movie instead of going to the theatre, especially since the extras on the DVD show a little more humour and different facets of the story than what you’ll see on screen (you can get it at 7/24 Video on Church). The themes aren’t new but it is a first for the Bear community. At least I think this is the first fully “Bear-identified” movie… Cachorro is about Pedro, a Bear living in Madrid who has to take care of his nephew and has to change his promiscuous, somewhat love-shy life and in doing so, becomes a better person bla bla bla. I make it sound boring but its far from it. There are a few scenes that had me blubbering and holding my breath.

One thing about the translation/subtitles: I hope you can speed read. I’m not sure if the Spanish language is actually that quick or I’ve become a slow reader. You may need to hit REWIND a couple times. Which isnt a bad thing because 99% of the guys in this movie are frikkin hot.

I have to agree with Sharkboy when he said half way through Cachorro: “We need to have more Bear parties.”

Paranoid Friend


I have a paranoid friend and I love him to bits.

He keeps a small, cut up meatloaf tin over his apartment door letter slot. He says it to stop people from looking in at his $10,000 worth of computer bits. Once I tried to put a birthday card through his slot and wasn’t able to because of the snail mail firewall.

He has the most virus protection on his computer I have ever seen. He was shocked when he discovered that my computer doesn’t have an Admin password. In a conspiratory tone, he tells me of a way of putting a password in twice to make sure my box is secure. His wireless router’s password is changed daily.

He tells me that the, under order from Tourism Ontario, puts “nice” weather stats up before a long weekend, regardless of its going to be rainy or sunny, motivating people to travel. He wonders what kind of kickbacks The Weather Network gets.

Last night, over Rolo Blizzards, he made me stare at a cut out of Ronald McDonald. Close. Hard. He tells me that for the last 10 years, TV commercial Ronald has been played by a woman. It was the closest to a “Pulp Fiction” moment I have ever been to.

Three Things About my Dental Hygenist You Need To Know


1) She talks. Non stop. But I guess that is on par for anyone who has their fingers in your mouth. No chance whatsoever of getting a word in edgewise. At the end of the cleaning, my Dentist came in to inspect her work and looked up at the TV to see Dr Phil (more on that in a moment) and he asks what today’s show is about. She launches into such a disjointed monologue, emphasized with finger pointing at the screen, that the writers for LOST would have been envious: “He’s got two girlfriends but one is his wife and she the girlfriend, is her ex best friend and he’s had two kids with them within a month of each other and he cant decide…”

I shoot a look at my Dentist. His eyes are sheilded of course but they tell all. Nothing. He’s sat through this rant before.

2) She has a sense of humour. On her “Wall of Teef” or “Wall of Great Gums” or something, there is an area of nothing but cats. I am assuming cats from clients. Unless she’s a crazy cat lady, which wouldnt surprise me one bit. Smack dab in the centre of the cat collage is a picture of ALF. I dont know if its a sick joke or what. But it’s funny.

3) She loves Dr Phil. I have never seen a show of his, nor have I seen his initial appearances on Oprah, either. It was like watching Desperate Housewives on Quaaludes. “I. Will. Leave. Him.” chants a upper middle class woman so mired in low self esteem, she makes Kirstie Alley look like… Dr Phil. Of course, I am biased because of all the screaming, punching Springer/Montel/Maury/Ricky Lake shows I’ve seen.

Where should I be?


I should be making how much?! Scroll down to third from the bottom, Graphics Designer. And that’s USD$. I am no where near the mean. And that makes me mean.

Not that I’m greedy or anything. I just want to be able to buy my dad’s crap car.

Update: I just checked with and got this tidbit for our Canadian readers:

A typical Web Designer working in Toronto, ON earns a median base salary of $55,724, according to our analysis of data reported by corporate HR departments. Half of the people in this job earn between $49,245 and $64,919.

So I am running about $20K less than the median! Holy slave-driving crap!