Primarily this is for Sharkboy but I love you readers too…

Via boingboing’s valentine link dump and Loteria Chicana

Pics here of the last few pics. You can tell I was giving up trying to keep up with Rod and Bill…

We spent the last day of the cruise at sea, in some pretty heavy chop. We didn’t do very much except crawl around the ship for things to do, including waiting in line for lunch at Johnny Rockets and using up all our coupons for extra slot machine quarters, buying “professional” pics of us in suits or 2 for 1 bar drinks before dinner. Basically we goofed around on deck in the high winds. It wasn’t all that much a “suntanny” kind of day. That night we ate like kings for the last time and saw a show based on Paula Abdul’s song Vibeology. Fun, schmarmy and engaging.

The next day all I can recall is getting up, eating breakfast, getting off the ship, going to the airport, watching the busdriver nearly get left behind due to misplacing his boarding pass and then getting home to Toronto and collapsing in bed.

I do remember one thing though.

Sharkboy and I are waiting for the Busdriver to come back from lost luggage (still checking on his lost camera) and the Postman was in the loo. We’re tired and we have about 3 hours before our flight home. I’m picking my ear and yank out a hair about a half inch long.

“Goodness,” I say. I hold the hair up to Sharkboy who lazily looks at it with polite interest.

“Huh,” he says.

“Wow,” I offer.

We look at each other and in an instant, we start to laugh.

“This is the rest of our lives together, isn’t it?” I ask through the tears. We laugh harder.

Joan would leave semi-empty cans of Coke everywhere around her house
Once we put a whole case of Coke cans into her dryer as a gag
Joan introduced me to The Sparks with Kimono My House
Once she lit her hair on fire with one of those pear shaped, cheapo restaurant candles
Joan was the smartest, yet unpretentious person I knew in high school
Joan called us theatre fags but yet still hung around us
Once she kept playing Mexican Radio by Wall of Voodoo when the acid started to kick in
Once she complained that she was being treated by us like “one of the guys”
Joan dressed the way she wanted
Once we made fun of her when she got a boyfriend
Joan’s mom was cool

The last time I saw Joan was when I told her I was gay. She lit a cigarette and said “So?”

Back from Montreal and Brockvegas with all my swag! Best gift? RocoLoco for the PSP. A Spanish (?) version of Katamari Damanci. Weirdest gift? As Seen on TV, folding TV tables. I felt a bit Addicted to As Seen on TV Products French and Saunders skit as I opened it.

And to cap off the holiday season, Sharkboy has ordered me to post this video. Here’s to a new year!

Day One

Day Two and Three

Day Four and Five

Day Six and Seven

Day Six – COZUMEL AND SEGWAYS
Despite everything you’ve heard and read about Segways, they will fall over, they will crash and they will hurt you. Don’t be lulled into the lie that they’re the “transporter of the future”, because they’re actually very uncomfortable and touchy machines, much like a skittish pony with diarrhea. I couldn’t see someone actually using one as a utility vehicle. You just stand there, really. Not much else.

But, you can say the same about inline skates, really.

Try standing for twenty minutes only slightly changing your stance every so often. You just stand there, really. Not much else. Try standing for twenty minutes only slightly changing your stance every so often, it gets hard on the knees and feet.

Though I grouse, Segways are actually a ton of fun to ride. I couldn’t see someone actually using one as a utility vehicle.

The Segway and Snorkel Safari was the “I feel dirty for taking it” excursion I insisted on doing while in Cozumel. Apparently fallout from throwing wads of cash at Storm-surviving Cozumel was to get all sorts of weird new attractions. Hence the Segways. About 20 of us walked a bit of a distance from the port to a “gentleman’s” bar to suit up and watch a short but hillarious video of Segway saftey. Many spills can be taken! Especially if you place babies on the handlebars.

We Segwayed and then shopped in Cozumel. Which was extremely satisfying. The market was full of fun trinkets and we spent the most there.

Back to the boat before the sky opened up. It rained for about 20 minutes and we had clouds for the rest of the evening.

Day Seven – GRAND CAYMAN AND STINGRAYS
Stingrays! Back to these “vacuum cleaners of the Caribbean Sea”. Gentle as cats and yet still able to illicit a child’s scream louder than Armageddon itself (as one parent on our tour was unfortunate to discover). I felt at peace with these creatures. I wish I could flab my sides and glide around. If I did that now, my sides would just jiggle. A lot.

We then scooted over to a remote reef outcrop for some snorkeling and I had a blast. I saw Shelly’s cousin but wasn’t cool with diving down the 20ft to go get her. And this time the tour guide in the boat utterly poo-pooed the idea of brining one home. I wonder how I got away with getting Shelly home last year…?

Back on land and we had a quick visit to Hell. Yep. Hell, Grand Cayman. Odd place in the middle of the island. Outcropping of volcanic rock that looked painful.

Dinner was lobster, and then on top of that, it was the midnight buffet. Oh lord did I eat?! YES LORD I DID!