Off With The Seal!

Celebs and Media, Distractions

I think I should understand that better, if I had it written down: but I can’t quite follow it as you say it.

–Alice in Wonderland

I have to do whatWe just got our images back from Disney’s Photopass service, all 65 of them on CD, in high resolution, ready for printing. If you’re not in the know, all the Disney parks have roaming photographers that will snap your picture near the better vistas and views of the park, and then give you an account number to view your images online at a later date. Pretty nifty! It gives you an opportunity to get a picture of your whole travel group at once. The photographers will also take a similar picture with your own camera, at no charge, without hesitation. It’s great to have this choice, especially since on the last day, I nearly lost my camera with a week’s worth of images on it.

We were so impressed by the quality of the images we bought the entire suite of pictures, duplicates and all, for a total of $125US. The disk arrived today with a large sticker sealing the case:

Viewing and usage of the digital images contained on this CD by buyer signifies agreement to the terms described on the Sales Agreement Read Me file contained on the disc.

What? You mean on the disk in the package, whose seal I have to break to get inside…

…to read…

…and agree to…

…before opening…

My head explodes.

Even more mystical is this statement on the back:

Purchase of this CD includes a copyright release allowing you to reproduce the image files in the sizes and quantities that you wish. The copyright release is contained as an image file (!) on the CD… You may need to show this image file to your photo retailer in order to purchase prints of your images.

Mind boggling exclamation point mine. Sounds like a Worth1000.com contest idea.

Maybe if I were getting prints done at Walmart they’d require to see that file, ’cause lord knows only terrorists take their media to Walmart to have reproduced.

Ping Pong Head Stewardesses

Distractions, Hobbies, Toronto

BoingBoing links to someone who’s selling his Pan Am Clipper model from the movie 2001. I still have this model, but without the viewable engine room part.

If you’re here in Toronto, I know of a small hole-in-the-wall shop over in Chinatown 2 (Gerrard and Broadview, north side of Gerrard, east of Broadview – sorry I don’t know the name) that is selling this model and a thwack of other great nostalgic sets, like the Space 1999 Moonbase model kit and a couple Big Daddy Roth’s Hotrod models. Save yourself the duty/shipping!

Monkey’s Last Summer Show

Distractions, Hobbies, Improv/Comedy, Toronto

Happy Monkeys June 07

This Sunday, the Happy Monkeys will be performing their last show before summer break (back by September).

The first half of the show will be short mayhem with games (Party Quirks, Scene Three Ways, etc) and something new for the last half called Montage: a collection of small scenes all based on 2 suggestions from the audience. At rehearsal we had “time” and “shoes” which resulted in Valley Girls attacked by pulp fiction time travellers as well as various other rifts on that concept!

So take your Dad to our show! It will be showalicious and dad will be appreciativalicious.

Victory Cafe, Sunday June 17th, 8pm PWYC

Tattoo Moi

Celebs and Media, Distractions, Hobbies, Personal Bits

On this week’s Miami Ink, Garver was taking instruction from a “Vampire” girl for her new leg tattoo. Her augmented goth appearance (fang implants on her teeth, black push up bodice, fishnet tights, red stripes in her hair, confession of blood lust to the camera) obviously surpassed her knowledge of Vampires:

Vampire girl: I want her to be a vampire but like a pin up girl looking at herself in a mirror–

Garver: But… if she’s a vampire… she won’t have a reflection…?

Vampire girl: Oh yeah…

This Saturday I have a consultation with Sick Side Chino at King of Fools Tattoo to revamp my floaty, nothing to it robot tattoo. How excited am I?

Distancing Myself

Queer stuff, Toronto

Oh lord. My old Black Eagle website is long gone (somewhat unsafe for work… guys in jocks, leather imagery, no nudity), replaced by a site I am sure was made in Frontpage. No, a pirated copy of Frontpage and MS Paint.

I don’t even know where to begin to be cynical. The riot of colour? The beveled or incredibly pixelated fonts? The broken image on the staff page? The horrid resizing of web images to hundreds of times their original size without apology? Or resizing by HTML? My original artwork heavy handedly ripped apart and overdrawn to shit? Typos galore?

Wood grain?

Did the designer make the site with boxing gloves on?

Sigh. I knew this day would come. If the site were better than my original design (since it was 3 years old, that would not have been hard to do), I would honestly be congratulatory.

I know I sound bitter.

But it’s like seeing a boyfriend who you liked a lot, who dumped you, and is now hanging around crack heads and accountants.

Before you comment, go look at NYC Eagle and compare it to BET. Arresting opening page. Tight layout and easy navigation. One style throughout. My only complaint is that it’s Flash.

Annoyingly Addictive

Distractions

Boomshine!

I don’t know how old this game is, or any other interesting facts. Screw interesting facts! I’m addicted to this simple game! Sometimes commenter “andrew” will like it because it’s like watching people in a public place, getting infected with a killer virus. Other kinder, gentler people will see Facebook allegories here. Make a chain reaction and rack up the points to Phillip Glass-ian music. Big chain reactions make my measley processor slow down.

Best score yet: 276. But I dont care about scores! I just want the dingly ding music!

Disney Day Last

Travel

Day One
Day Two
Day Three
Day Four and Five
Day Six
Pics of Last day!

Epcot! When I went to Epcot back in the late 80s, I had the worst visit to Disney. Ever. Car broke down, had to wait for the replacement car in the parking lot. Got into the park to face huge lines. Spaceship Earth died on us half way through for 45 min and we got to hear how “Billy” couldn’t repair his “hoverbike” before his date. Wha? On the way home we ran over a possum.

This time SharkBoy made the day great. We got all the rides done with minimal drama. Well – Minimal meaning I left my $500 camera with the entire weeks worth of vacation photos behind after leaving Soarin’. When the ride attendant came through the ride door with my camera it was the greatest thrill we had that day. We spent the rest of the morning making jokes about what a sequel to Soarin’ would be called: “Hey if the ride flew over ice caps it could be called Cold Soarin’!”

Another thrill was being gouged at the Mexico pavilion. Lunch for two got us an $80USD bill. Wow. Two margaritas, a sample plate of Mexican dishes and a dessert. Not cheap.

We manage to make it all the way around the lake.

We zip home for a disco nap and hightail it over to Magic Kingdom just in time to see the SpectroMagic parade and then hoof it over to the front of Cinderalla’s Castle to see the fireworks.

I have to tell you at this point I was pretty emotional. A week of surreal landscapes, over stimulation and knowing we were going back to the real world the next day put me into a funk. As I looked up a the castle I thought about how much fun I had had all week and how much I loved SharkBoy for bringing me here and all that he did to make us have a flawless vacation.

And that’s when Tink flew out of the castle.

This woman, dressed in light-up Tinkerbell costume, zip-lines out of the castle, straight down Main Street, waving her legs and wand just like Tink would, at a height of about 150 feet off the ground. Even though she was moving pretty fast, it was dark and she was so high up, you could see her smile. Big. The kid beside me wails “TINKABEL!” and I choke up. It’s truly fucking magical.

We tried to stay on after the fireworks (the park was open to 2am for resort guests) but after seeing the Country Bear’s Jamboree and one last ride on Splash Mountain, we looked at each other and conceded that it was over. We were too tired to go on.

So that was it. So magical. Too short. I felt 33 years young. I spent way too much money on food and barely anything on souvenirs but it was worth it. We’re going back next year.