Brotherly Confessions

Celebs and Media

Something’s afoul of This Is Wonderland, kids. I swore I’d keep my mouth shut about it. More later.

After Michael related his TIW news, he told us that he got to meet Julie Andrews a few days back. The star of S.O.B. is in Toronto to direct a run of The Boyfriend for the Mirvishes and since my bro’s play The Innocent Eye Test is opening at the Royal Alex, he got to meet her. His first impression was that she had tons of “handlers” in her entourage. He said to her that he wanted an “entourage” to which she replied: “They’re very useful!”

His second impression was that she was sexy.

Sexy. Julie Andrews. She’s got to be pushing 70.

“Like…G-M.I.L.F kinda sexy?” I ask. The “G-M” standing for “grandma”. The rest you can google.

“Not really,” he squirms. His hand comes up and swirls in the air like he’s rubbing a crystal ball as he tries to explain himself. “Like this aura thing sexy.”

I am in awe again of my brother. Or confused.

Doppledangly!

Celebs and Media

The receptionist from my office calls me over to her desk and shows me a series of pictures she took last night from the front of CityTV. She says, “I thought you were being a snot because I was calling your name while I was trying to get pictures of Duran Duran!”

I have to admit that I did do a double take when I saw it but after close inspection, I’m not CityTV Security Guard Hot.

double

Moi? Mutant?

Personal Bits

The last week I have been waking up at 5:30am every morning without fail. I will sit there in the dark and wonder what woke me. Is it because of the new, unfamiliar apartment? No, I’ve slept a couple nights at Sharkboy’s and still woke at the same time. Are aliens abducting me and probing me at the same time every morning? I checked my PJs. No.

Then I read that I might be a mutant (from BoingBoing). How creepy to have this defect. I suspect Sharkboy and Swollen Uvula both have this mutant gene as that their sleep patterns are certainly not like your average “sleep from 11pm to 7am” kind of person. Sharkboy is in bed by 10pm every night (except the odd weekend) which I find super early, and he rises just after 6am without the need of an alarm. Meanwhile, Swollen could be in bed by 3am and up by 7am, then the next night he would be asleep by 11pm and up by 5am… you get the drift. Wildly erratic, without being grumpy (I love that excuse for being grumpy: not enough sleep. It’s so childish and I use it at work all the time).

I once stopped dating a really great guy because of his sleep apnea. I would lie awake making sure he was ok, nudging him every time he took longer than a second to breathe in. My biggest fear is waking up beside a dead body.

I find that I dont have a “regular” bed time either, due to the internet and time-shifting on my digital cable box. And IFC channel. And my PS2. Distractions of the flesh, really.

Tom Wilson, HOT

Celebs and Media

Tom!And not just in a physical sense, either. The man can paint. Stocky, blonde and a pop artist? SWOON!

I love his colours and content. Whimsy!

“Who the foosh is Tom Wilson?” I hear you say across the wires. He was the bully “Biff” from the movie Back to the Future. Be sure to check out the photos section. Scruffy bear goodness!

Fantasy #234b

Personal Bits

I want aliens to come down to earth and provide us all one mutant/super power. The catch is that it has to be lame, really lame. I would become Captain Swirlo and would have my chest hair exposed through a hole in my tights. My special power is to vaguely hypnotize my enemies by swirling my chest hair in a singular direction. By “vaguely” I mean that I can manipulate their minor choices during the day. “Tuna fish for luuuuunch! Tuna fish for luuuuunch!”

My nemesis would be Tooclose, a dastardly villain that has the power to walk behind me too close and get me pissed off while I’m trying to have a conversation with a friend.

You can tell I think this crap up in the shower.

Good Friday

Queer stuff, Toronto

I had a super day yesterday walking through High Park. In the years Ive lived in Toronto (off and on since ’84), I have never been in the Park before. Who knew it had Yaks? We must have walked over 8 hours yesterday in the sun and fun. I took some pics and dumped them into the City As Blog gallery.

Last night Sharkboy and I went to MLT’s Resurrection Ball at Fly. Sort of like High Park, I have never set foot inside Fly due to my aversion to stoned drooling morons, high on “party favours”. Yes I am being judgmental on drug use, only because it was so rampant and cliche-ridden that I could have sworn I was on the set of Queer As Folk. In the first hour, I saw guys indiscreetly e-popping pre-dance preparations as they bopped zombie-like to the thumping music. Zombie goombas who think they need to chemical their reality to have a good time. Three times we had super stoned guys come up to us and try to say something to us. One of Sharkboy’s acquaintances came up to him to say Hi and without being introduced to me, he grabbed my arm and dragged me into a lip-claming kiss. Uh. Hello.

We were told to move from where we were standing and that was the last straw. Uh…guys over there are threatening your license by ingesting illegal drugs but you want us to clear away from the foot of a staircase? That we’re not even within 6 ft of? Bye!

We went to the Eagle and had a much better time, thanks.

Like Daughter, Like Father

Personal Bits

I went to Tarragon Theatre’s Paprika Festival last Sunday to watch under-21s act, direct and write. My brother’s daughter, Emma had a play which she wrote and had a part in. Topical stuff, especially with the whole “guns in schools” thing happening again. She was the grubby, punk kid involved in a school shooting.

Out of them all, I enjoyed her play, Janet (Biased? Not really, it had some harsh words towards the Media and showed an anger that surprised me)and the last play, The Zoo-Keeper’s Love Song a funny story of a semi-disfunctional family versus a has-been American Slasher movie queen. Suitably impressed for Emma since she had to pare down her play 10 minutes a few days before, and she was up against some much older teens (she’s 14). I think she held her own and did a great job.

Of course she came out of the dressing room wearing a cool t-shirt that made me so envious.

Check it out, it’s free, but call ahead. It sells out the day of the performances.