In keeping with my last post, I would just like to say that the bed linen department of Winners at College and Yonge Streets is pretty happening. Every time Sharkboy has dragged me back there, there’s been at least 2 bears shifting the irregulars.
Sleeping Sheetless in a Double Bed
I am the world’s biggest laundry slob. Really. As I write this there is a pile of clean laundry on the floor (hip-height) just outside the hamper that has been screaming for my attentions. I have a terrible habit not folding. And of leaving wet laundry in the machine until dries to a smelly wad, requiring a second run at it with extra softener. Once I had to do the same load three times over a period of 12 days due to my drying indifference. I just hate laundry and speed through it with reckless abandon.
Last night was no exception.
I decided that since I was moving in three weeks I was going to wash the sheets that were on the bed and use them until I move while using the rest of my pantry as packing material. Before your brain fills in the gap: yes. I did sleep in a stripped bed of naked mattress, bare pillows and cover-less duvet last night, thank you. But that’s not the scary part. Sometimes I feel sorry for the clean stuff and I haul the whole thing up onto my bed as an act of kindness to my clothes. Picture it: I am stripping the bed while shifting my clothes to one side then the next then giving up and shoving the entire mountain back onto the floor. On to the laundry room. As I am stuffing pillowcases, underwear and chinos into the washer, I brush a crumpled bedsheet up against the side of the machine with a klunk.
Klunk? My sheets aren’t that bad…
I narrowly escaped washing my iPod and my bedroom TV remote.
Imagine the call to Apple over that one: “Sorry sir, Applecare doesn’t cover Downy corruption.”
Fantasy
I want a 200G hard drive in my head that records what I’m looking at with the flick of a thought. Then I could download some of the things I saw this morning like the guy in the alley near my house doing his best John Cleese “Ministry of Silly Walks” routine without knowing he was being watched.
Or the face of the homeless guy waiting in a sun soaked temporary work storefront, his stubbly chin sticking out of his hoodie, eyes hidden.
Or how the Scotia tower looks like the citadel from Half Life 2 on most mornings.
Or the sun casting a perfect font shadow in a sign making store.
Its amazing how beautiful things become when the temperature goes above -5C and there isnt a cloud in the sky.
Update:
I remembered this post thickslab made a couple days back where I commented that clandestine photography and posting to the web was a bit creepy. It would seem I contradicted myself a bit here. Every time we exit our houses we are open for scrutiny (and even home privacy is graying these days) yet while we maintain a certain level of moral code, our humanity peeks out every so often. One day I pointed out to Sharkboy a person who had his finger up his nose to the third knuckle while he waited at a light, blissfully unaware that the cab of his car had windows that allowed people to see in. Or that was his kink. Whatever.
The Most Produced Play
From today’s Globe and Mail:
The power of television being what it is, many more people probably know Michael Healey as an actor in CBC’s continuing legal series, This is Wonderland. But Michael is also the enormously successful author of The Drawer Boy, almost certainly the single most-produced Canadian play in history. Last year, the play was mounted 24 times in the United States alone. Not incidentally, it earned Healey gross royalties of $1.2-million. This year, it may do even better. A new production is about to open at the Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn, N.J., starring veteran actor John Mahoney (Frasier). That, of course, is across the river from Broadway, where the show is likely headed next. London’s West End is also interested.
I guess I could sue him for brain damage from all the times he stuffed me in a sleeping bag and shoved me down the stairs.
Wow. I was jazzed when Dan became a Doctor and John became a successful salesman and Michele rolled a couple monster homes while rising in the ranks at Foothills General. Now I’m like…super jazzed (I never claimed to be half the writer he is, ok?)! Congratulations Mike!
PS: Faitful readers… I think Dad and I will be on this episode of TiW. Keep a sharp eye out for my chin or hand.
…It’s Hair?
Shock blonde is so 1997.
Best Advice Yet Today
Yes. Thank you.
I can feel the couch kicking…
My boss just told me that I can’t have a day off to move and claim it as maternity/parental.
I guess they really do read those forms.
Buzz Bunny?
From yesterday’s Warner Bros Press Release:
DESCENDANTS OF WARNER BROS.’ LEGENDARY LOONEY TUNES- BUGS BUNNY, DAFFY DUCK, LOLA BUNNY, TASMANIAN DEVIL, ROAD RUNNER AND WILE E. COYOTE – ARE UNLEASHED AS FUTURISTIC HEROES IN BRAND NEW SERIES “LOONATICS”
Produced by Warner Bros. Animation, fast-forwarding seven-hundred years into the future, Loonatics will feature six descendants of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, the Road Runner, Lola Bunny, Tasmanian Devil and Wile E. Coyote. Endowed with individual super-powers and unique abilities these new Looney characters band together to create a formidable team and face-off against the evils of Acmetropolis.
Back in the late 80s, I had the exact same reaction to Spielberg’s announcement that he was creating Tiny Toons: bile rising, eyes scrunching up into what could be seen as anger or illness, arms flopping to the side in resignation to a man with more money than God. But in the end, it spawned a couple great shows like Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain.
Let’s face it. Bugs and Daffy hit their Acme with Chuck Jones/Mel Blanc dressing them in drag and letting them carelessly play with loaded shotguns meant for rabbit duck season. But look back at the evolution of Bugs and you will find that he went through some healthy character development for years after his creation, but that abruptly stopped since the 60s when WB stopped caring about their animation division. Maybe this show will be the mid-life growth spurt Bugs has been needing?
I hope Loonatics will have deep pop-culture moments like Yakko Animaniac’s curvy eyebrow flick while singing “Dana Delany!” in the opening credits of his show. Or create new characters like Scrappy Squirrel, (loved her ironic kvetching over how cartoons use to be).
But somehow I doubt it.
After sitting on their asses, raking in the profits from the syndication of the Tiny Toons, WB made a decent hack at feature length animation with Brad Bird’s The Iron Giant (that dog’s breakfast of suits-overriding-creativity is a whole other blog entry), yet managed to pork Brad big-time on distribution rights, effectively scaring a master director away into the arms of Pixar. WB then tried too hard too late to parade their outmoded characters into the movies. Hairyfishnuts put it sussinctly when he said: “they’re playing with a corpse, turn him into Poochy for all I care.” (he talks of the whole Jeff/Jim thing but eventually mentions ‘toons). In my opinion, those movies were driven by people who just didn’t “get” the Bugs Bunny culture. Look at every cameo guest star’s face during Back In Action: they wear the expression of having been threatened with contract termination while they barf out those gwadawful lines.
With this new “updating” I am hoping that these characters will get a fresh feng shui-ing and coat of paint they been waiting for. Or they should just remake a whole new set of characters, but that would take years of development and I bet WB doesn’t want to spend that kind of money or resources to do that.
Sort of like how Microsoft creates Windows products.
Bazing!
Moving House
I just got off the phone with the Super from Hogarth (see, I was ordained to live there: Hogarth is the kid from Iron Giant). I got the place after all the hoops I had to jump through to get it. Whew!
They say there is nothing more stressful than to move house but I feel that this is an open door, as it were. I will miss the bungalow on Boulton but it did hold some bad memories from the last two years: giving up my two cats, my money struggles into bankruptcy and Vancouver Mike’s departure. The whole time I lived there I felt like I was in someone else’s house, even though it was packed to the rafters with my stuff. I can say Boulton was my “downtime” for the last couple years.
Now I am really looking forward to living on my own. My goodness! The toilet seat is dirty! Who is to blame? ME! Yay! These dishes? Oh, right, they’re mine! May I walk from my bed to loo nude? Certainly!
Anyone got a van?
Blast From The Past
Over at the Institute of Official Cheer, James has posted a running commentary of Big Little books. The first book he reviews is Major Matt Mason’s Moon Mission. I HAVE THIS BOOK! Funny how the whole “eating algae cakes on the moon while bunnies ruin your crops” thing didnt phase me one bit as a kid.
Go and read. Its packed with cubicle gufawing goodness.