Formative Pop – Halloween Story #3
I don't recall how old I was.
I don't recall what I was wearing.
I do recall the following details vividly, though.
It's Halloween night probably around 1977 and it's almost 8pm. I and two other friends, Mitch Hart and Paul Naylor, were heading back to the street corner we'd all have to split up at and walk back home alone.
See kids, back then, parents let their kids out without supervision. Go watch Mad Men. It's true!
Anywhoot, we're a block away from our final corner, each of us boasting on what kind of candy we got (heavily influenced by the Charlie Brown Halloween Special - "I got a rock...") when Paul's eyes lit up like a jack-o-lantern with a flame thrower in it. He grab's Mitch's arm and spins him around.
"Go!" he shouts.
Paul and Mitch, being much more athletic than I was (I'm Booksmart!), take off like the wind.
I'm slow. I'm like, candy drunk slow. "Wha...?"
Out of the blue I'm body checked to the ground. My bag goes flying out of my hands. Two teenagers scoop up my loot and run off down the street yelling back at me to stop crying like a baby.
I wasn't crying when this all happened. I had the decorum to cry at home, alone in my room, thank you very much.
Halloween 2008
Halloween on Church Street. You will never find a more retched hive of scum and villainy.
The evening started out good with a group of us getting together at Casa RoboShark, slapping on layers of makeup while we sucked back beers during rounds of Guitar Hero and Mario Kart Wii. It sounds very involved but it was pretty relaxed. I wound up doing Dollar Store cuts on a few guys but the wax wounds didn't last too long after leaving the apartment... I blame sweat and not having a proper sealant to make it stick. That and they wrinkled their faces too much. NO LAUGHING!
Here's where I apologize for not taking any pictures this year. My lightsabre for my Jedi costume was a two hander. RodTO (Photog 2) took some amazing shots, as usual. Go see them and praise him highly.
We left the house at 9 and got to the street in full swing. It was busy as usual. SharkBoy felt there were too many drunk Ryerson students, but I thought it was a typical Halloween night: packed, pictures everywhere. Our outfits weren't as attention grabbing as last year's Luchadores, but with the Force FX sabres, we were well lit and did get into some photos. Here's where I mention that lucha masks were out in force this year. We're trendsetters.
We met up with Da, the Xbox Boys, FrankenSteve (nice fairies!) and got to do one circuit of up and down the strip before going home. Some of the costumes were amazing, some were the usual "Throw on a boa and I'm done" kind of WTF kind of effort. In all, I would say that a lot more people are getting into the spirit of dressing up, even if it's just a dollar store jumpsuit with a cheap plastic lead-based mask. I say "bravo" for trying!
The thing that did mar the evening for me: I verbally abused a drunk asshole in a rather (un)Jedi like manner. We were walking in the crowd and came upon a small pocket, empty of people and I had stopped to wait for the other guys to catch up. As I did, a drunk guy came pushing out of the crowd, past me, screaming like a 9 year old child. "No! NO!" he was hollering. Chasing him was another drunk partyer who was making noises like he was going to catch him. Upon seeing my lightsabre, he lunged at me and yelled he needed it to "get that faggot."
"Uh no," I said and turned slightly from him.
He drunkenly clawed at the toy. (okay, the $130 toy, none the less)
"Fuck off!" I said. I was shocked: I don't say this lightly in public, to strangers. But his total disregard for my personal space and property was appalling.
"Oh chill," he said and tried to go for it again.
"Fuck. Off." I said, stronger. And the surreal part was that I had my hand out, pointing a finger at his face. Like the Force was going to save me.
Exit drunk queen, muttering something, trying to catch up to "that faggot".
There were other extremely drunken exchanges that bewildered me, like the 60-some year old woman wordlessly trying to grab SharkBoy's lightsabre by the tube and me yelling "Lady! YOU DON'T TOUCH A JEDI'S STICK!" (yeah I said "stick" but she muttered "dick" back). Or the three Ryerson tarts wanting to play with the sabres for themselves and when we refused, asked for a kiss. Wha?
I love Halloween, but I was kind of cheesed off by the overly rowdy drunks. We were out pretty late and the worst of it did happen well after 11pm so I shouldn't be surprised, really.
Next year, more thoughtful planning, I should think. Something not so attention grabbing, yet attention grabbing.
All Hallow’s Eve Pt2
A meme from The Electronic Replicant so fitting, I can't pass it up:
What were you last year for Halloween?

A Luchadore. Often imitated. Often better than yours.
What are you going to be this year?
You Tell Me...
Favorite costume you have ever worn?
For attention, I've never got as much as the wrestler. I do remember my sister trying to get me into a Mummy costume and bailing on me when she got half way through. Too many bandages for her attention span.
How do you spend your Halloween?
Lately, on Church Street. I'm a people watcher at heart. But the desire to dress up overtakes that a bit.
Are you or are you not going trick or treating this year?
I hope to trick. Nyuck nyuck.
Did or do you pull Halloween pranks?
I tried to scare my mom once when I was 9 or 10 but being the last of 5 kids, she'd seen it all: the dummy in the chair in a dark room, the panicked yelling of "John's been hit by a car", the lawn dart in the back for real...
Do you believe in ghosts?
Sort of. I had a sink tap turn itself on full blast when I worked in a 170 year old jail converted into a traveller's hostel. Last place in Canada to have a public hanging. Spooky.
Are you superstitious?
I'm not. But I do pray to the fates when I want something.
Do you like caramel popcorn?
Duh.
Have you ever gone in the country to look for pumpkins?
I've gone into the country looking like a pumpkin. Gay camping and over-tanning does that.
Have you ever been on a hayride?
I've been in a Corn Maze.
Do you decorate your home for Halloween?
First time this year. Mostly cat-safe candles.
Have you ever been to a haunted house?
Where do you live?
Have you ever been to a graveyard on Halloween?
Nope. Too stupid and scared.
Have you ever attended a Halloween party?
Where do you live?
Do you watch scary movies on Halloween?
Not lately. Too busy.
Have you ever had your candy stolen from you?
Yes. At the age of 12. The guy I was with took off suddenly and my costume (I forget what I was) didn't offer up much notice that there were big kids bearing down on us. I was tackled wondering why my friend was racing away from me. I hope the fucker (friend and big kid) is diabetic now.
Did you ever steal any ones candy?
Nope. I was a wimp.
Has anyone ever gotten hurt due to your prank?
What prank?
Have you ever dressed as a witch/warlock?
No. I wanted to be Sci Fi all the way.
Are your parents into Halloween?
When I was 16, my dad and I went to a department store and bought a pair of those cheap vinyl kids jumpsuit costumes with the tounge-cutting slitty mouths. We squeeezed into them and headed out to the apartment upstairs for the apartment building's party. By the time we climbed the stairs, the seams had burst and we were basically in our underwear. With masks. Dad was Captain America. I was Wonder Woman.
Flattery Is the Best Form Of Imitation
Oh! An email from Thor!
What the hell? "Used my idea from last Halloween and won Best Costume"?!
I have to admit, they do rock 100% harder than our costumes, last year.
![]() |
| From Halloween 2007 |
Why I Love SharkBoy Pt 454
Shoppers Drug Mart, Parliament and Carlton, 7:40pm
Sharkboy: (Depositing our purchase down on the checkout counter) "Hello there!"
Clerk: (Dead eyed, zombie-like) "Good evening."
Sharkboy: "All ready for Halloween?"
Clerk: "...g..."
Longish pause. No more response.
Sharkboy: "I'll take that grunt as a 'Yes'."






