Broadview and Danforth, Sunday, 10:15am.

Dead Robot: What a great day! Not too many of these days left, I bet. Did you see all those contrails in the sky yesterday? They were beautiful. I wish I had my camera.

Sharkboy: They were. Hey… what time does the Apple Store up at Yorkdale mall open?

DR: I checked online. It opens at 11am on Sunday. I’m excited. I’ve never been in a Steve Job’s creation, just used them. I have to take pics of us talking so smile and look good. And use your hands.

SB: What for?

DR: I’ve been challlenged to make a post like Brett Lamb does. His photoplays are the talk of Paris and are world renowned.

SB: How’s this?

DR: Sure. That’s good!

SB: That’s my “manboyant” look.

DR: Manboyant? Is that like the hyper-masculine opposite of flamboyant?

SB: No I was thinking it described those 50-something guys who try to dress like 20-somethings. You know…lowrider faded heroin user jeans, crop tops, meshback hats, and drives a jeep, oblivious to how ridiculous they look.

DR: I am constantly questioning my dress sense now I’m past 40. I was just thinking the other… what the hell are you doing?

SB: Get a picture of me right here!

DR: Lordy this is going to be a long day, isn’t it?

SB: Her eyes seem to follow me. I feel like I’m watching Basic Instincts on HDTV. Okay if we’re suppose to be talking about something, what should we talk about?

DR: Well we did see A History Of Violence last night. You said it was the first Cronenberg film you ever liked.

SB: True. It was good. What I liked about it was that it was a real departure for him. Not like Crash. I can’t stand it when a director is weird for the sake of style.

DR: I liked Crash…

SB: Thing is, any director could have done this movie. There wasn’t much “Cronenbergism” in it.

DR: There was the gore. And there was the theme of internalized struggle. All his films have that… Naked Lunch, Dead Ringers, eXistenz

SB: Never. Mention. That. Movie. Ever. Again.

DR: Sorry.

SB: True there was that whole skitzoid identity thing going on, but if it was directed by Hitchcock, we would have had some style. Dramatic angles, curious pauses in the editing…

DR: Agreed. Cronenberg seems to be just like Wes Craven doing Red Eye. Kinda meatless, but there is something good there.

SB: I had real issue with the son not getting beat up or how suddenly he was a killer.

DR: I think Cronenberg was trying to show that violence might be inherited.

SB: Sure but I didn’t buy it that he was this nerdy goody goody and then switch over to a violent kid so quickly.

DR: I think the choreographed fight scene in the school hallway was a bit too choreographed. If he had “snapped” and fought like a caged animal, then it would have worked for me.

SB: And the whole beginning where the family is so wholesome. I know he was trying to over-compensate the impending evil for greater impact but it was rather unbelievable.

DR: Yeah. He’s moving away from his schlock horror past but he needs to learn balance. Shall we grab a bite to eat before finding the Apple Store?

SB: How about the Yorkdale Mall Food Court?

DR: Sure. Cheap and cheerful. Good lord. Yorkdale mall has certainly changed since I use to work here 11 years ago. This food court is possibly the gayest in the city of Toronto.

SB: It’s suppose to be a New Orleans vibe.

DR: Oh I can see it now that you mention it. I guess I didn’t “get” it. Maybe if they had FEMA reps ineptly telling people where to sit and flooded the room with hip-high water.

SB: Ha! What store did you use to work at?

DR: My Dad’s boyfriend’s store. It was called “Francois” and it sold plaster columns and angels. Tchatchkas, really. Once, back when Steven Sabados was doing CityLine segments, he came into the shop and threw so much hideous attitude at me that my spine snapped and I was admitted to “The Shelly Long Institute for Reaffirming Life’s Goodness” for a week. Chris Hyndman was with him and he was very nice. We chatted and Chris had an approachable personality.

SB: Lets go in here!

DR: They’ve tarted this store up. This was just a basement store with a plain jane staircase…

SB: Yeah now it looks like an adventure ride in Orlando. I wonder if they replace these styrafoam “bricks” daily because of children falling against them.

SB & DR: (breathing in the basement store air at the door threshold) Ewwwww!!

DR: God. They’re all so cute!

They both spy cats in a cage. Instantly Dead Robot tears up and drags Sharkboy from the store.

DR: Sorry. I miss my cats. Those kittens were getting to me.

SB: Apple Store! Mygod! Look how small the nano is. I am loving the colour screen.

DR: You’re warming up to it? I can’t believe you’re joining the Cult of Mac.

SB: It is a cult, isn’t it? What the hell is that?

DR: Its an iSight. Apple’s webcam.

SB: Do I need one?

DR: Do you video chat?

SB: No. Lookit the iPod accessories!! Lookit the printers! Lookit…

After a time, the boys stop drooling.

SB: Its almost time to get to ROTC practice. We should head back.

DR: I am looking forward to getting back to the parades.

SB: Me too. I think the routine is going to be interesting. Challenging.

DR: They got quite a few people to sign up for the winter and I am glad that they’re doing a split performance with the more seasoned veterans doing more challenging twirls.

SB: Can we get a tea before?

DR: Can we go to the World’s Worst Timmys?