Talking to Scientists


Us: So stop me if I’m wrong. The world is warming up.

Scientists: …as we have been saying for a few years now, yes.

Us: Really?

Scientists: Yes!

Us: I think we would have noticed if you had mentioned it. I mean you’re like …wow… big brains and all. You command respect when you say something.

Scientists: We told you way back in the 70s! You were too busy with your discos and cocaine parties. (Mumbling) Which we weren’t invited to.

Us: Science brought us coke…

Scientists: (rubbing eyes) Yeah. Okay. Our bad. Now. About the warming.

Us: Well it seems to us that since we’re all in this mess and you have the big brains…

Scientists: (wary) …yes….

Us: …that you should really be working on faster than light travel…

Scientists: Oh lord…

Us: So that we can go to Mars or some other planet to, you know…

Scientists: Use.

Us: Yah. Use.

Scientists: Why don’t we try to change things here?

Us: Uh hun! No way! That means giving up my car. Possibly my Costco membership.

Scientists: Look. If we do build an FTL ship, I can assure you that Scientists will be Atlas Shrugging our way on it as soon as we can.

Us: …Is. That some sort of code?

4 thoughts on “Talking to Scientists

  1. Dead Robot

    Yeah! Watch the rest of the world play catch up to the Western excesses.

    When Tristán da Cuña gets nukes, I’m checking out.

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