This year was suppose to be different.
This year, I was going to utterly decimate SharkBoy with a gift so left field and unpredictable that he was going to fall down unconscious and I would rejoice and dance around his prone body with a cup of egg nog. And we’d sing carols and upload videos to Youtube and eat mince meat pies.
Alas, I have been found out and my reputation as a shitty gift giver stays intact. SharkBoy knows what he’s getting for Xmas. But in my own defense, not by my hand!
I started this amazing gift bonanza early. Back in the summer, our friend BobaDoug had been trolling the 501st web forums to see if anyone was selling their Stormtrooper armor for cheap. A couple weeks back he sends me an email from some chap in the US who is offloading his gear, attached with this picture (see right)
Of course my mind goes a million miles a minute. Doable! And fun! After about 25 emails back and forth, the cheque is in the mail, the suit is on it’s way to sister-in-law Sylvie, in Vermont, and I make the most solemn vow not to say one word. This time was different. The effort was being made!
To explain the chunk of cash missing from the joint account I said some yarn about how I wanted extra money on my credit card for our upcoming New York trip. Bait taken. No suspecty!
A week later, BobaDoug sends me another picture. See above. No it’s not a dead trooper, it’s a pristine SandTrooper outfit with full gear – was I interested? HELLS YEAH! Sandtroopers are my fave! How could I pass it up! Somehow I had to move another chunk of cash around our savings. They say the best lie is the closest to the truth so I came clean. I showed SharkBoy the picture and said, “This is my Xmas gift to me. I can’t pass this deal up. It’s done.” To which he asked if Doug could look for a suit for himself as well. Oh yes, dear! Of course we will. Little do you know!
All is good. I’ve told Sylvie in Vermont that another suit is on it’s way and hush hush on the first one and that SharkBoy knew that I had bought one for myself. We giggle like school girls.
In moving this second chunk of cash, PayPal was a bit slow. I told SharkBoy not to be alarmed by the amount of money hanging around. Last night, after dinner I checked the bank accounts and it was still there. I briefly mentioned to it to him and he grunted in reply. The phone rings and SharkBoy picks it up. It’s Sylvie.
“Tell DeadRobot his suit is here!”
“Wut,” says SharkBoy.
“Ah…Wow! ha! That was…fast…?” I say.
“How did your suit… get to…” SharkBoy Pauses. A light goes on. “YES!!!”
I hear a tinny, tiny “Oh Shit!” come from the phone ear piece.
I don’t blame Sylvie. I should have kept her in the loop about the *timeline* of the payments and deliveries. It wasn’t her fault at all.
But I’m back to being a shitty gift giver. At least that’s no surprise.